6 December 2012. Do you know the significance of this date? It was the day “an MBA holder, active MENSA member, alumnus from both the ‘best public high school in the USA’ according to the Wall Street Journal and the best private high school (Philips Academy Andover) in America” was treated “in a manner [considered] highly offensive and unusual in ANY* Western nation,” by a HR representative of a firm from which he was seeking employment. And although said “MBA holder, active MENSA member, alumnus from both the ‘best public high school in the USA’ according to the Wall Street Journal and the best private high school (Philips Academy Andover) in America” was already informed that he was unqualified for the job he’d applied for, a 1,057 word email detailing his experience and informing the company that he was calling shotgun on rejecting them, plus a threat, nay, a promise to go public with his grievances, seemed in order.

Dear [redacted HR representative],

As an alumnus of George Bush and George W. Bush’s boarding school alma mater (Philips Academy Andover), a member of MENSA (which requires a 99th %ile result on a standardised IQ test) and as a polyglot who speaks over half-a-dozen languages, all with above-intermediate degree of fluency, I must relate my experience with Wolverine and its laughable elitist snobbish supercilious attitude and approach to recruiting.

In true Wolverine fashion, you all have clearly continue to be so extremely self-absorbed and obsessed with your own reflections in the mirror to give a toss about the world around you and the other people in it.

The way I left the conversation with whomever it was who called me for a “technical” interview yesterday (6 December 2012) and could not even be bothered to deign to provide his name to the clearly insignificant non-person on the other end of the line, presumably because he performs the same interview so frequently (not the fault of any candidate) was by informing the often-incomprehensible yet superciliously arrogant non-native-English-speaking young man who rang, that I did not have any further time to waste speaking to him and that I would NEVER EVER work at such a company which would employ such poor excuses for company representatives as the two I had theretofore encountered.

1) [redacted] – “HR generalist” who contacts me twice, the first time to say that she would not be considering my curriculum vitae submission at all because of the surplus of wonderful applicants and the second saying she was highly impressed with my cv and skills set and was requesting a phone interview. During this initial phone interview, [redacted] was aloof, inattentive, discourteous, disinterested, monotonous and robotic. I doubt whether she were even listening to the content of my responses. She also must have been so utterly busy and overworked, since she did not even let me finish speaking before she hung up after arranging a second phone screen. When I asked as to what the second phone screen would be about, whom it would be with, whether I needed to prepare anything in particular, etc., [redacted] very rudely repeated that it would be a “technical interview”. When asked what a “technical” interview would entail, [redacted] replied that it was a “technical interview” and that she refused to tell me anything further, after which she hung up on me mid-sentence.

2) The often-incomprehensible yet superciliously arrogant non-native-English-speaking young man – This person rings me to discuss my cv further. After walking him through my work history, specific skill sets, etc., this young man explains that my professional experiences would be insufficient for the role they are trying to fill. (At this point, I am wondering why Wolverine has apparently been wasting their and my time, since I had thus far not provided any new information which could not have been gleaned from a simple reading of my curriculum vitae, including the fact that I am a financial analyst, not a statistician or econometrician.) And yet, as if following some rote script, he continues the interview. He then asks me a question, using extremely poor English constructions and expressing himself very poorly, about a 2-headed abnormal coin which someone starts flipping. He asks what the probability is of this coin having been chosen from among 999 other “normal” coins. When I reply that I don’t understanding what his flipping the coin or eating the coin or throwing the coin away has anything to do with affecting the 1/1000 probability that he had initially chosen the double-headed coin, the young man retorts with a snort, saying that he is asking a very simple conditional probability question that everyone he interviews knows the answer to, in an attempt to make me somehow feel stupider than he for not understanding what condition he was alluding to or what point he was trying to make. After several attempts to understand his point, he gave up trying to explain and began to tell me his version of the correct answer, which seemed very different to me from the question he had been previously asking. As an MBA holder, active MENSA member, alumnus from both the “best public high school in the USA” according to the Wall Street Journal (1) and the best private high school (Philips Academy Andover) in America, I have absolutely NEVER in my life been treated with such contempt or ever had my intelligence called into question and especially not in such a mocking and disrespectful way. Such behaviour might be considered typical in other cultures (I myself am of multi-cultural extraction), but is highly offensive and unusual in ANY western nation. His whole manner was offensive, insolent, bizarre and inflexible…

So, please save me your e-mail as if YOU were rejecting ME and remember that it was I who rejected YOU when I hung up on the insolent young man and told him I did not have time to continue to waste with him trying to explain how stupid I must be for not figuring out whatever question he was attempting to ask and with me trying to bite my tongue while speaking to this belligerent arrogant Wolverine employee. YOU do not get to have that pleasure of rejecting me, as I as the first to tell you I would never ever work at ANY place with [redacted] and Mr. Supercilious Arrogant as colleagues. I am sure they are not exceptions at Wolverine; there is a much greater PROBABILITY that these two are indeed an accurate representative sample (Image removed by sender. \bar{x}) of the employee population (μ), with an extremely high degree of confidence (alpha=0.001).

I do intend to share my own experience with as many members of Wolverine’s upper management and clients as possible (many of whom I am connected to distantly on LinkedIn, both upper management at Wolverine and ) and, but more importantly, on independent recruitment forums (i.e. glassdoor, monster, LinkedIn, etc.) since I cannot imagine that everyone at Wolverine is aware of what goes on at their own company or that potential candidates have sufficient information available to them to decide whether it is worth spending their time on a company which will likely not correspond to their expectations for normal colleagues and/or a supportive working environment. It is clear that Wolverine cares only about money.

Sincerely,

[redacted Wolverine applicant]

(1) http://online.wsj.com/public/resources/documents/info-COLLEGE0711-sort.html

Comments (93)

  1. Posted by Redacted Matata Guy | December 10, 2012 at 4:04 PM

    Love [redacted] posts. Always the best ones. My kinda Dealbreaker!

  2. Posted by FKApmco | December 10, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    Above-intermediate degree of fluency my arse.

  3. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    50.6 %
    – someone who didn't go to prep school but does know what a technical interview is.

  4. Posted by Smooth Criminal | December 10, 2012 at 4:09 PM

    Does catholic prep school count?

    - M. Jackson

  5. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 4:09 PM

    What a ruh-tard… Mensa is only 98th percentile.

    - Prometheus Society member

  6. Posted by guest | December 10, 2012 at 4:15 PM

    Let me guess, that HBS '10 guy decided to get out of the car business, and is still a little rusty at math?

  7. Posted by Smooth Criminal | December 10, 2012 at 4:16 PM

    Does catholic prep school count?

    - Michael Jackson

  8. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 4:18 PM

    It's a shame daddy couldn't buy him an MBA from a school worth mentioning when explaining how intelligent he is.

  9. Posted by Travolta Trading LLC | December 10, 2012 at 4:20 PM

    super-silly, non-english-speaking-young men only need apply

  10. Posted by Bandersnatch | December 10, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    Is everyone in Mensa a complete basket case? Based on my experience, putting Mensa on your resume is like putting down that you had a 12th level fighter-cleric half-elf in your high school AD&D club.

  11. Posted by Winthorpe III | December 10, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    Those traders wanted to have sex with me!

  12. Posted by Bacon Is Tasty | December 10, 2012 at 4:23 PM

    This was, without a doubt, the one email that, upon reading it, made me think, hmmmmm, I am so glad, for a variety of reasons beyond the context of this email, but again, so glad that, I, despite a penchant for punctuality throughout my family's history, am not, and have no intention of ever becoming, a comma.

  13. Posted by guest | December 10, 2012 at 4:24 PM

    Hey!

    -guy who had a 12th level fighter-cleric half-elf in his high school AD&D club.

  14. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 4:25 PM

    Some men just want to watch the world burn…

  15. Posted by Incitatus | December 10, 2012 at 4:28 PM

    "Okay, I'll level with you. We're rejecting you because you're the most intolerably intelligent idiot we've ever seen. And we mean ever. You're a tremendously gifted fool."

    -Dude that wishes the super-duper-hyper-intelligent would realize they can't write to save their lives, that no one uses the term supercilious, and that pairing statistics with hyperventilating, righteous indignation just makes you look even more clown-shoe ridiculous

  16. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 4:31 PM

    Bess: in addition to the [redacted] this also needs some [sic].

  17. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 4:34 PM

    I actually liked this guy's email…but what's a Wolverine?

  18. Posted by Alexi Vayner | December 10, 2012 at 4:35 PM

    I'm ba-a-a-ck.

  19. Posted by Little Fritz | December 10, 2012 at 4:35 PM

    If this kid is so shit hot, why doesn't he start his own business instead of looking for a job.

  20. Posted by I-a-pee-inda-mensa-room | December 10, 2012 at 4:42 PM

    Supercilious? No idea what the hell that means but this whole letter is Super Silly.

  21. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 4:44 PM

    Yeah that, and I think he might have watered down the whole Andover thing by namedropping glassdoor and monster….

  22. Posted by [Redacted] | December 10, 2012 at 4:45 PM

    Hay!

  23. Posted by P. Swayze | December 10, 2012 at 4:46 PM

    ………….really?

  24. Posted by Bandersnatch | December 10, 2012 at 4:47 PM

    Things you don't fuck with.
    - Soviet North American Expeditionary Force

  25. Posted by TheodoreBallgamePhd | December 10, 2012 at 4:47 PM

    Bonus points for using 'supercilious' FOUR TIMES.

  26. Posted by Bandersnatch | December 10, 2012 at 4:48 PM

    Yeah, just don't put it on your resume

  27. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 4:48 PM

    I would think there are plenty of other shoe companies he could apply to, but I guess he really wanted to work at Wolverine.

  28. Posted by ImCEObitch | December 10, 2012 at 4:53 PM

    Half-elves cannot multi-class in Cleric.

    ps Does not have AD+D v.2/3 on resume.

    ~Zuck

  29. Posted by 12-Sided Dice | December 10, 2012 at 4:54 PM

    Reading a joke about AD&D on Dealbreaker gives me a "Magic Missile"

  30. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 4:56 PM

    Wait, so he is an alumnus from *both* the “best public high school in the USA” and "the best private high school" in America? Did he graduate high school twice or is getting kicked out enough to make you an alumnus?

    Also, in what sense is Andover "best" given that it is #8 on the reference he provided?

    - Guy who appreciates proper references

  31. Posted by andover2002 | December 10, 2012 at 4:58 PM

    1.) obviously this is a stupid email.
    2.) i have no idea what wolverine even is
    3.)

  32. Posted by andover2002 | December 10, 2012 at 5:02 PM

    whoops somehow hit ‘post’ accidentally. anyway:

    1.) obviously this is a stupid email.
    2.) i have no idea what wolverine even is, i guess it’s a decently sized prop fund?
    3.) it’s a really bad sign when you’re leading with your high school as your peak achievement.

  33. Posted by Urban Meyer | December 10, 2012 at 5:06 PM

    My bitch for the next 5 years.

  34. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 5:08 PM

    He probably did a post-grad year.

    -Guy who needed an extra year of glory days high school football

  35. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 5:10 PM

    " I doubt whether she were* even listening to the content of my responses."

    *was

    - Guy who didn't go to Philips Academy Andover (George Bush and George W. Bush’s boarding school alma mater)

  36. Posted by Matt Levine | December 10, 2012 at 5:11 PM

    Hey, it helped me land this gig!

  37. Posted by C. Thomas Howell | December 10, 2012 at 5:12 PM

    In Soviet North America, Wolverine fucks with you!

  38. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 5:13 PM

    wtf is a polygot

  39. Posted by UBS Geometry Whiz | December 10, 2012 at 5:22 PM

    Similar to a pentagon, but different.

  40. Posted by Bejujular | December 10, 2012 at 5:31 PM

    It's probably a joke email.

    I don't think anyone could write "The often-incomprehensible yet superciliously arrogant non-native-English-speaking young man," look at it and say to themselves they are making a good, nay, great choice that will make them be taken more seriously.

  41. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 5:32 PM

    You just went full retard, man. Never go full retard.

  42. Posted by PermaGuestII | December 10, 2012 at 5:33 PM

    Stfu and get off my train.

    -Conductor, Metro-North Railroad

  43. Posted by Super Silly | December 10, 2012 at 5:43 PM

    Hey redacted, and anyone else not clear on this: disinterested is not the smart guy's version of uninterested. Don't do it again.

  44. Posted by T Hobbes | December 10, 2012 at 5:59 PM

    Am having trouble believing that this letter is real. Real or not, it made me laugh (at the author).

    That 2007 WSJ survey is ridiculous. Success is defined by admittance to:

    Harvard, Princeton, MIT, Williams, Pomona, Swarthmore, the University of Chicago and Johns Hopkins

    The list is notable not only for the inclusion of several mediocre schools but also for the exclusion of several benchmarks of excellence.

    matriculationstats.org which has several rankings which make much more sense if you assume that matriculation, indeed, is the primary metric of academic excellence. It does have the advantage of being measurable but there are some who argue that there are other criteria. In fact, I was having this debate co-incidently last Thursday with a graduate of Andover who rejects the use of matriculation data as conclusive and unilateral evidence of academic distinction.

  45. Posted by Super-silly-ness | December 10, 2012 at 6:08 PM

    What am I missing; why did he go to two high schools?

  46. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 6:10 PM

    "saying that he is asking a very simple conditional probability question that everyone he interviews knows the answer to, in an attempt to make me somehow feel stupider than he"

    Actually, you did it to yourself when you tried to argue you on behalf of your own intelligence and then used the word "stupider"

  47. Posted by Super-silly-ness | December 10, 2012 at 6:15 PM

    my apologies on prior post, as that was already picked up on (hopefully not the same mistake twice, but…)

    "His whole manner was offensive, insolent, bizarre and inflexible…" change [His] to "Its" and I think you have a pretty decent Andover Yelp! review…

  48. Posted by T Hobbes | December 10, 2012 at 6:18 PM

    2007 WSJ ranking counts Swarthmore and Pomona and does not count Yale, Stamford? WTF

    That ranking has Trinity at 7th with a 17% 'success rate'. Trinity has placed 39% of it's graduating classes into Ivy's over 2006-2010 and 17% into Harvard, Yale, Princeton, MIT and Stamford.

    Dude should be shot for citing an outdated and stupid survey.

    FWIW, that WSJ survey has Phillips Andover at 8th.

    matriculationstats.org has the most reasonable set of metrics I've come across.

  49. Posted by irregardless | December 10, 2012 at 6:20 PM

    its called trying to hard

  50. Posted by Philips | December 10, 2012 at 6:22 PM

    This is the problem with multi culturalism.

  51. Posted by Matt Levine | December 10, 2012 at 6:22 PM

    Hey !

  52. Posted by Simple Jack | December 10, 2012 at 6:23 PM

    You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, "I Am Sam." Remember? Went full retard, went home empty handed…

  53. Posted by Dumbassius | December 10, 2012 at 6:24 PM

    I would have been a 12th level fighter-cleric half-elf but I took an arrow to the knee.

  54. Posted by DingALing | December 10, 2012 at 6:25 PM

    " I must relate my experience with Wolverine and its laughable elitist snobbish supercilious attitude and approach to recruiting."

    Says the guy who starts the sentence with:

    "As an alumnus of George Bush and George W. Bush’s boarding school alma mater (Philips Academy Andover), a member of MENSA (which requires a 99th %ile result on a standardised IQ test) and as a polyglot who speaks over half-a-dozen languages, all with above-intermediate degree of fluency"

  55. Posted by Ricky Ray Earl | December 10, 2012 at 6:26 PM

    You're a commanist!

  56. Posted by Not Asian | December 10, 2012 at 6:27 PM

    I feel very bad for your kids.

    -Guy who wouldn't let his maid's kid go to Georgetown but would hate having his parents needling him about the ranking of his prep school.

  57. Posted by E. Texas Gas Trader | December 10, 2012 at 6:27 PM

    He/she don't know "c'mere" from sic 'em

  58. Posted by Dean of A&M | December 10, 2012 at 6:31 PM

    Jesus….you ain't never heard of "polygot a cracker?" Here's your clue: Ross Perot, man…Ross Perot

  59. Posted by Gotcha | December 10, 2012 at 6:34 PM

    Traders do have a lot of time on their hands at this time of year.

    -Guy who delivers notes to unsuspecting colleagues by using a pink slip of paper in a window envelope on their desk.

  60. Posted by Kerry | December 10, 2012 at 6:44 PM

    That made my week. He really likes the word supercilious.

  61. Posted by Alpha_Bets | December 10, 2012 at 6:47 PM

    It's one thing to be an insufferable twit, but the superfluous use of 'supercilious' I simply will not abide.

  62. Posted by Guessed | December 10, 2012 at 7:01 PM

    Who would have ever guessed this guy was "of multi-cultural extraction"

  63. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 7:51 PM

    "Stamford" really is a great school. I gather you went there yourself?

  64. Posted by wsm4826 | December 10, 2012 at 8:34 PM

    Dude, how's your mom's basement since u graduated last year?

  65. Posted by Jwj | December 10, 2012 at 8:48 PM

    That's FUNNEE!

  66. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 8:53 PM

    You'n do it Mox!

  67. Posted by Guest | December 10, 2012 at 8:58 PM

    Dear [redacted],

    We Have read your letter to Wolverine and would like to formally extend to you an offer of employment.

    Regards,
    The New Yorker

  68. Posted by Booked on Phonics | December 10, 2012 at 9:14 PM

    Allow me to proctologize, that is, expostulate…

  69. Posted by guest | December 10, 2012 at 9:22 PM

    well, sure. we all know that fear. of having our parents "needle" us about the ranking of our prep school.

    (wtf?)

  70. Posted by Rodney | December 10, 2012 at 9:28 PM

    His doctor told him he was stupid and he said he wanted a second opinion, so his doctor told him he was ugly.

  71. Posted by Horse | December 10, 2012 at 10:51 PM

    Hay !

  72. Posted by Hugh Jackman | December 11, 2012 at 12:37 AM

    Seriously?

  73. Posted by Mr. Supercilious | December 11, 2012 at 12:51 AM

    Thanks for the compliment.

    - Dean of Admissions
    University of Connecticut – Stamford

  74. Posted by Yale WASP | December 11, 2012 at 1:21 AM

    Exeter is the best Private / Boarding School in the Country.

    NOT Andover. Just ask Zuckerberg.

    -Yale WASP

  75. Posted by hs student | December 11, 2012 at 2:01 AM

    subjunctive case

  76. Posted by Guest | December 11, 2012 at 3:13 AM

    Someone who can talk shit in several different languages.. At an above intermediate level

  77. Posted by hbomb | December 11, 2012 at 4:08 AM

    only an andover kid would feel the need to say that it is the best private school in the country. inferiority complex to exeter

  78. Posted by Guest | December 11, 2012 at 8:21 AM

    "you all have clearly continue to be so extremely self-absorbed and obsessed with your own reflections in the mirror to give a toss about the world around you and the other people in it"

    Kettle, meet Black.

  79. Posted by Guest | December 11, 2012 at 8:24 AM

    Get with the times Pop.

    -Magic: The Game Pro Tour Runner-up 5 years in a row

  80. Posted by Mr. Frankenberger | December 11, 2012 at 9:08 AM

    Word of the day on dictionary.com last week apparently.

  81. Posted by trade support | December 11, 2012 at 10:08 AM

    Reading this from my desk at Wolverine. Holy LOL.

  82. Posted by guest | December 11, 2012 at 10:15 AM

    I might be wrong but I think he misused i.e. in his last paragraph. What an idiot!

  83. Posted by Ron | December 11, 2012 at 10:23 AM

    I believe its an old, old wooden ship from the civil war era

  84. Posted by really? | December 11, 2012 at 10:35 AM

    Poor kid has “never had [his] intelligence called into question”.
    What a blow that phone interview must have been.

  85. Posted by Guest | December 11, 2012 at 10:42 AM

    Were the author of this letter an actual Andover alumnus, he would know that the name of his school is "Phillips Academy", not "Philips Academy Andover", and certainly not with only one L in Phillips.

    As for the Exeter trolls on this comment feed: suck it.

  86. Posted by mjburgess | December 11, 2012 at 8:06 PM

    I fear that your joke is too dry for its own good.

  87. Posted by guest | December 11, 2012 at 9:47 PM

    I've never resented you guys but I've always wondered this…if you're so purebred why do you constantly need to boast and posture about it?

    -state school white ethnic who thought Ivy Leaguers were supposed to be gentlemen but has seen very little evidence of that on in the financial industry

  88. Posted by Dr_Rosenrose | December 10, 2012 at 4:53 PM

    Seems like someone with this kind of vocabulary would know the difference between disinterested and uninterested.

  89. Posted by Guest | December 12, 2012 at 1:34 AM

    Just the overall grammar and usage in that email is laughable, even for a state school student.

  90. Posted by Zaphod B | December 12, 2012 at 4:08 PM

    For a polyglot with such a terrific grasp of so many languages, and a erstwhile graduate of one of our finer college preparatory schools, his command of the English language is impressively poor.

  91. Posted by Slinging Size | December 13, 2012 at 8:57 AM

    Your trading firm only cares about money. ZING!!!!

  92. Posted by sohbet odalari | December 25, 2012 at 4:49 PM

    thanks ayı :)

  93. Posted by Guest | January 9, 2013 at 6:31 PM

    What is this nutbag even talking about? He needs to focus on his grasp of the English language.

  94. Posted by Louis Winthorpe III | January 10, 2013 at 2:04 PM

    As a "Phillips Academy" grad, you should know that commas go inside quotation marks.

    -Not an Exeter troll but suck it anyway