“Our junior guy came in this morning hung over and stinking like booze. After a few of us made comments on how awful he looked, he responded by letting us know that he’s in good enough shape to run a marathon, right now. Almost in sync and without hesitation, we said “done.” He named his price: $1000 (WAY TOO LOW) and within 2 minutes, he had $1000 cash on his desk. He just left the trading floor and is headed back to his apartment to change into running clothes. He initially said he could finish the 26.2 in less than 5 hours in his work clothes as long as we let him change into sneakers. We decided to let him change into running gear, since we’re good guys, but he still has the 5 hour time limit. We’re tracking him via his iPhone’s GPS. Happy Friday.”
It’s unclear who marathon man is, where he works, or if he will actually complete the challenge in the allotted time. And in fact, we’re not particularly worried about finding answers to those questions. We’re more interested in raising a few of our own, inspired by this guy, such as: what would you do for $1,000 while suffering a crippling hangover? While we love the enthusiasm and cojones on this kid (it’s one thing to agree to run a marathon, hungover, without any training or notice; it’s another to come up with the idea yourself, throw it on the table, and say “No, I don’t need to change, I’ll do it in this 3-piece suit and top hat, because fuck you, that’s why”), you could not dangle a grand in either of your Dealbreaker editors’ faces and expect us run 26.2 miles. Sit quietly in a comfortable chair (Matt), yes. Remain curled up in a fetal position under the covers (Bess), yes. Now you go.