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Would-Be Locust Exterminator To Lose German Election

We have good news for those of you who do business with/in the Bundesrepublik: Angela Merkel is going to be re-elected.

We know that she’s no Paul Ryan, but compared to her opponent in September’s German parliamentary elections, she’s the second coming of Ronald Reagan. Happily for those who care, the German Socialists (can you believe they actually have a party that puts that word in their name?) have nominated for the Chancellery Peer Steinbrück, a man whose never run in an election he didn’t lose and whose suave handling of matters during his time as Merkel’s finance minister ensured that Europe’s approach to financial matters did not quite merit the lofty title of final solution.

For while Steinbrück did not coin the loving term “locusts” for hedge funds and private equity firms—the last man to lead the SPD to defeat at Merkel’s hands, Franz Müntefering, did—he certainly did his level best to extirpate the capitalist demon during his four years at Berlin’s FinMin. But fear not, the media assures. Not only is he 10 points back in the polls, but:

His campaign got off to a dreadful start in October and he initially lost poll support with his abrasive style and the row over his speaking engagements. Especially disliked by women voters, he spent months defending himself for high earnings.

A November ARD TV poll showed only 30 percent of Germans find Steinbrueck likeable, down 7 points since September, while Merkel’s rating rose 9 points to 51. He fell three pegs to be ranked the country’s sixth most popular politician.

So get ready for another three-to-five years of Silvio Berlusconi’s former lover. And, with any luck, Silvio himself.

Germany’s SPD names former finance minister as Merkel challenger [Reuters]
Merkel’s Rival Steinbrück Leaves Female Voters Cool [WSJ]
Disgraced Silvio Berlusconi confirms he will stand for Italian Prime Minister again [DM]

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21 Responses to “Would-Be Locust Exterminator To Lose German Election”

  1. guy says:

    Who are you?

    • Coglioni says:

      John Shazar wrote for Dealbreaker, back in 2009. He mysteriously disappeared in 2010 and was presumed dead. A secret Dealbreaker scientific team recently found his corpse and have resurrected him, using a process similar to that applied to Jean Claude van Damme and Dolph Lundgren in "Universal Solider." This re-animation process destroyed the "h" in his first name, though the one is his last name remains seemingly unaffected.

    • Guest says:

      Fresh meat!

      – Dealbreaker Commentariat

  2. Hii says:

    Is this guy new Matt like the family guy episode when they got new brian

  3. Nervous Jew says:

    This new upstart makes me very nervous.

  4. Who is Harry Crumb? says:

    Who?

  5. Guest says:

    Shazam !

  6. 2 cubes over says:

    Huh… are you the new Sam Ro? Or will you stick around?

  7. guest says:

    Its about time that Bess hired someone to cover German politics

  8. Guest says:

    Me thinks Jon Shazar is DB's IT guy…

  9. guest says:

    Its about time that Bess hired someone to blog about German politics

  10. Plato says:

    A post free from footnotes? That won’t last.

  11. Angry White Boy says:

    IF YOUR LAST NAME IS NOT DERIVED FROM THE OLD FRENCH WORD "VIGNE" GTFO AND NEVER POST AGAIN!

  12. not a fan says:

    Hey new guy, learn the difference between “whose” and “who’s”.
    And write about stuff we should care about.

  13. Aziz Ansari says:

    Nephew?

  14. fittin in says:

    "a man whose never run in an election he didn’t lose" … "who's" never run??
    not DB grammar police but a fan of their work

  15. long un says:

    "30 percent of Germans find Steinbrueck likeable"

    Fuck!

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