What motivates a hedge fund manager to continue busting his ass to churn out profits year after year, once he’s already amassed a fortune most people can’t even fathom, when he could easily pack it all in and live more than comfortably without ever working another day? For some, it’s the thrill. For others, it’s the trophy’s wife’s shoe habit. For Crispin Odey, it’s the chickens.

The Odey Asset Management founder (and sausage brand ambassador)’s got a mess of high-maintenance ones and earlier this year, had architects draft blueprints of a “Palladian-style” mansion he intended to build them (seen at left), replete with a grey zinc roof, “pediments, cornice, architrave, and frieze in English oak,” and columns “hewn from the finest grey Forest of Dean standstone.” After finishing 2011 down 20.3%, things were no doubt more than a little tense over in Herefordshire, where questions of whether or not construction would have to be halted, or if they’d have to make the switch to [whispers] generic-brand feed. Certainly a moment of panic swept over Odey each day when he returned home, wondering as he turned the knob if he’d be entering an empty house, the chickens gone and a note explaining they couldn’t do this anymore on the fridge. Ran off with the general contractor because what was the point of shacking up with a money manger if the money wasn’t there? Luckily for all parties involved, it won’t have to come to that; according to Bloomberg Markets’ annual ranking of the top performing hedge funds, performing under pressure is one of Odey’s specialities.

Other managers who can bring home good news* for the demanding individuals with whom they co-habitate:

1. Metacapital Mortgage Opportunities, Metacapital Management, 37.8%
2. Pine River Fixed Income, Pine River Capital Management, 32.9%
3. CQS Directional Opportunities, CQS, 28.9%
4. Pine River Liquid Mortgage, Pine river Capital Management, 28.0%
5. Odey European, Odey Asset Management, 24.1%
6. Marathon Securitzed Credit, Marathon Asset Management, 24.0%
6. Palomino, Appalossa Management, 24.0%
8. BTG Pactual GEMM, BTG Pactual Global Asset Management, 23.1%
9. Third Point Ultra, Third Point, 22.1%
10. Omega Overseas Partners A, Omega Advisors, 21.7%
11. Seer Capital Partners, Seer Capital Management, 21.6%
12. Tiger Global, Tiger Global Management, 21.0%
13. Eminence, Eminence Capital, 20.9%
14. Jana Master, Jana Partners, 20.4%
15. Structured Servicing Holdings, Structured Portfolio Management, 20.3%
16. Citadel Tactical Trading, Citadel Advisors, 20.0%
17. Viking Long, Viking Global Investors, 19.4%
18. Cerberus RMBS Opportunities, Cerberus Capital Management, 19.0%
19. LibreMax Partners, LibreMax Capital, 18.5%
19. Pine River, Pine River Capital Management, 18.5%
21. Litespeed Master, Litespeed Management, 18.1%
22. AHL Evolution, Man Investments, 18.0%
22. Kensington/Wellington, Citadel Advisors, 18.0%
24. Canyon Balanced, Canyon Capital Advisors, 17.7%
25. Contrarian Capital One, Contrarian Capital Management, 17.6%
26. DoubleLine Opportunistic Income, DoubleLine Capital, 17.4%
[…]
76. Paulson Enhanced, Paulson Partners, 10.5%
[…]
86. SAC Capital International, SAC Capital Advisors, 10.0%

Also out today is Bloomberg Markets‘ ranking of the most profitable hedge funds, the main takeaway of which is allegations of insider trading against approximately three-quarters of his employees can’t hold Steve Cohen down. Also, 3&50 or GFTO. (Relatedly, can we just take this moment to suggest that 2013 is the year SAC should just say “fuck it” and announce they’re increasing fees to 10&95?)

1. SAC Capital International, SAC Capital Advisors, $789.5 million
2. Viking Global Equities, Viking Global Investors, $456.6 million
3. OZ Master, Och-Ziff Capital Management, $402.6 million
4. Elliott International, Elliott Management, $284.1 million
5. Oculus, DE Shaw & Co, $278.6 million
6. Kensington/Wellington, Citadel Advisors, $262.5 million
7. Tiger Global, Tiger Global Management, $254.5 million
8. Silver Point Capital, Silver Point Capital, $219.7 million
9. Pine River Fixed Income, Pine River Capital Management, $210.0 million
10. Greenlight Capital, Greenlight Capital, $196.7 million
11. King Street, King Street Capital, $193.5 million
12. Elliott Associates, Elliott Management, $178.8 million
13. Cerberus Institutional Partners Serives IV, Cerberus Capital Management, $177.4 million
14. Canyon Value Realization, Canyon Capital, $170.4 million
15. Palomino, Appalossa Management, $169.1 million
16. BTG Pactual GEMM, BTG Pactual Global Assset Management, $165.0 million
17. Drawbridge Special Opportunities, Fortress Investment Group, $158.9 million
18. BlueCrest International Class A Onshore, BlueCrest Capital Management, $157.3 million
19. Discovery Global Opportunity, Discovery Capital Management, $146.1 million
20. BlueMountain Credit Alternatives, BlueMountain Capital Management, $134.7 million

The 100 Top-Performing Large Hedge Funds [Bloomberg Markets]
Narula’s No. 1 Hedge Fund Gains 38% Betting on Mortgages [Bloomberg Markets]
Earlier: UK Hedge Fund Manager Sets Unreachably High Bar With Resplendent Private Residence For Chicken Friends
*Although please note that these figures are only through October 31, because Bloomberg for some reason couldn’t wait to pull the trigger until having the full picture for how everyone did through, y’know, all of 2012.

15 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
Show all comments ↓

Comments (15)

  1. Posted by Chick Magnate | January 4, 2013 at 2:30 PM

    Crispin, all I gotta say is: [youtube ss8LDBNcsWc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss8LDBNcsWc youtube]

  2. Posted by Wilbur F. | January 4, 2013 at 2:43 PM

    Slutty little chicks.

  3. Posted by Guest | January 4, 2013 at 2:46 PM

    In Soviet Florida, chicken fucks you. and then the donkey. and then the squirrel.

  4. Posted by guest | January 4, 2013 at 4:14 PM

    Crispin, call me.

    -Wilbs

  5. Posted by guest | January 4, 2013 at 4:16 PM

    you like that bitches?

    -someone in stamford

  6. Posted by Is it 5 yet? | January 4, 2013 at 4:16 PM

    Crispy probably likes to choke his chickens.

  7. Posted by guest | January 4, 2013 at 4:17 PM

    Dildos for everyone!

    -Jeff "26th best performing hedge fund manager on your face" Gundlach

  8. Posted by guest | January 4, 2013 at 4:18 PM

    Check yourself.

    -CO

  9. Posted by guest | January 4, 2013 at 6:16 PM

    Those (chicken) breasts never get old.

    -not the 'those tits' guy but a fan of his work

  10. Posted by guest | January 4, 2013 at 6:28 PM

    Speaking of which, isn't Ashley Dupre due any day now? http://dealbreaker.com/2012/08/eliot-spitzer-is-h

  11. Posted by Guest | January 5, 2013 at 12:38 AM

    Confused. Bridgewater has what, $120 bn? .02*120 = $2.4 bn. Am I missing something?

  12. Posted by guest | January 5, 2013 at 3:07 PM

    how did the chicken climb those stairs?

  13. Posted by Perry | January 17, 2013 at 6:44 AM

    What'you talking about chicken?

  14. Posted by sohbet | May 12, 2013 at 6:50 PM

    telling these little stories, here's a good idea: Have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener.

  15. Posted by Garrett | October 6, 2013 at 5:10 AM

    An amazing one and I enjoyed reading through!! Whatever shared regarding "UK Hedge Fund Manager’s Chickens To Maintain The Lifestyle They’ve Grown Accustomed To In 2013" seems to me quite informative and pleased to study such post. Thanks.