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Caption Contest Friday


A couple of SeaWorld employees during yesterday’s visit to Blackstone, which owns the animal theme parks/oceanariums/marine mammal burlesque theaters/what have you. Whether it was nerves over being in the presence of the boss or simply a matter of not being housebroken, the duo “left some unsolicited presents on a carpet and a conference table,” Dealbook reported, which seems a bit uncalled for to us. They were embarrassed enough! No need to tell the whole world.

Bonus round:

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62 Responses to “Caption Contest Friday”

  1. Guest says:

    Just a couple guys in suits who shit on the floor. And some penguins.

    • gUEST says:

      Damn it, there is nothing worse than eagerly clicking on a post with a hilarious and original comment idea and then seeing that your idea is the very first comment someone else made. Fuck it, from now on it's nothing but Lynn Tilton jokes.

      -UBS Original Humor Quant

      • Guest says:

        You work at UBS and can't think of anything worse than that?
        Maybe that's why you work at UBS.

        – GS HR Quant

      • gUEST says:

        Sheesh, more thumbs downs than a Jim Cramer comment? Guess I better examine my motives…

  2. Guest says:

    "We've been hearing complaints from investors and from the regulators, and believe us, we're listening. That's why we're here today: to introduce to you the new directors for our portfolio companies, who will provide the independence and strong oversight you asked for."

  3. Guest says:

    After finally getting to meet Mr. Schwarzman, the penguins communicated their displeasure with their year end bonuses in the only way they knew how.

  4. Guest says:

    "So you guys are the new IT department over at Dealbreaker?"

  5. b iteme says:

    "We are not sheep – stop smiling"

  6. Puck It says:

    "These are my kinda people!"

    —Nails

  7. CoveredLong says:

    After a grueling night of playing "Duck, Duck, Goose" with penguins – bonuses were awarded to the winners.

  8. Duncan says:

    "I thought you meant nuns. I thought you were saying a nun took a crap on the carpet."

  9. Dow30Thou says:

    What's black and white and as red as the Florida panhandle?

  10. Flarkey says:

    Keep them away from lobster claw! It's a trap!!

  11. Guest says:

    Guy in the red tie is definitely rocking a stiffy under the table.

  12. Bored Guest says:

    For the bonus round:

    Penguins to analyst in the corner: "Really? To the DEATH?? Can't one of us just say Uncle?"

  13. pazzo83 says:

    Lennay…??

    – M Te'o

  14. politiquant says:

    It's Marco Rubio's doppelganger! And two Blackstone directors.

  15. Bill says:

    Just the two of us, we can make it if we try…

  16. Guest says:

    While some of Blackstone's junior executives were delighted by the penguins' proposals, others in the room felt that they were "full of shit."

  17. guest says:

    Dear Steve,

    Don't trust the sea creatures. I don't care what they've told you. Kill them. Kill them all.

    – Jamie

  18. guest says:

    We've made the penguin exhibit more efficient now.

    Bonus round: They are so cute, but where do we apply the leverage?

  19. Guaets says:

    Unsolicited gifts/bonuses.
    Pot-ay-to/Po-tah-to.

  20. guest says:

    No joke, my old man worked for Anheuser Busch when they owned SeaWorld and I got to take a picture sitting on Shamu

  21. Hobbes says:

    Bonus Round:

    "Meet me at Minetta's, vomit your lunch in front of me so I know it's you."

  22. Bob says:

    "After years of unsuccessful fertility treatments and one heartbreaking miscarriage, the couple was finally able to conceive."

  23. Turnip Truck says:

    Good, but needs some Lululemon yoga pants.

  24. anti-shazar says:

    Bonus Round

    Indian-looking guy on left: These are the assholes I was telling you about
    Blue Shirt guy: But they're penguins
    Indian-looking guy on left: Shut your fucking mouth when i'm talking to the penguins!

  25. VonSloneker says:

    Steve Schwarzman just before pardoning "Tuxedo" the penguin. Also pictured and not as fortunate, "Chilz" the penguin and a human Monchichi will be the main course at Steve's MLK Day cook out.

  26. Just sayin says:

    Blackstone…"keeping your bird in our hands while we tongue your eggs"

  27. zoroz says:

    "No, I am serious, the birdkeepers do that to increase egg production, keep going…"

  28. Skipper says:

    "Kowalski! – Where's Private?"

  29. Guest says:

    2012 North American Stone Crab Advisory Committee

    from left to right:
    front row- Chilly Willy,Chairman: Pingu, Hon. Secretary
    back row- Bob Fish, Treasurer; Steve Schwarzman, Vice Chairman

  30. Guest says:

    Bonus round, clockwise from bottom: maybe, maybe, no, no, no, no, no and no

    The guy in the red tie seems to be an emphatic "yes, yes"

  31. Schwarzman: "….Fly? Fly? Of course they can fucking fly! If I tell those little shits to fly, they'll sure as fuckin' hell fly…!

  32. Squo says:

    This ain't SeaWorld, this is real as it gets.

  33. Bonus Round….

    Bald-Guy With Glasses: "Listen-up everyone ….Mr Schwarzman said to make 'em fly by the AM or don't bother coming in tomorrow…"

    Red-Tie Guy: "We're on the 61st Floor so I'm quite sure I can make them fly…ummm but like I don't know whether I can teach them to land well enough…

  34. Penguin says:

    "how many times do we have to shit the place before this janitor on the left cleans it up?"

  35. Guest says:

    I'm used to clubbing baby seals, but these will do

  36. Penguin #1 says:

    The ocean called, they are running out of stone crab

  37. Scumby says:

    The SEC sent its top enforcement field officers to investigate Blackstone's fishy financial transactions, but they wound up giving them a clean bill of health.

  38. gfgf says:

    Black tie affair photobomb

  39. cinsel chat says:

    ack tie affair photobom

  40. sohbet says:

    we always do a great job with our layoffs.

  41. sohbet says:

    SEC sent its top enforcement field officers to investigate Blackstone's fishy financial transactions, but they wound up giving them a clean bill of

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  44. sohbet says:

    officers to investigate Blackstone's fishy financial transactions, but they wound up giving them

  45. gehen hier says:

    This couple is beautiful!! they influenced the thematic park and the staff haha.

  46. Mikes says:

    Very interesting Point of view Bess, thanks for sharing

  47. officers to investigate Blackstone's fishy financial transactions, but they wound up giving them

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  49. susanlacey says:

    Corbat has worked at Citi or its predecessor companies for his entire career, starting with Salomon Brothers http://www.storobinlaw.com/family-lawyer.php

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