• 18 Jan 2013 at 12:25 PM

Caption Contest Friday


A couple of SeaWorld employees during yesterday’s visit to Blackstone, which owns the animal theme parks/oceanariums/marine mammal burlesque theaters/what have you. Whether it was nerves over being in the presence of the boss or simply a matter of not being housebroken, the duo “left some unsolicited presents on a carpet and a conference table,” Dealbook reported, which seems a bit uncalled for to us. They were embarrassed enough! No need to tell the whole world.

Bonus round:

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Comments (58)

  1. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2013 at 12:35 PM

    Just a couple guys in suits who shit on the floor. And some penguins.

  2. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2013 at 12:47 PM

    "We've been hearing complaints from investors and from the regulators, and believe us, we're listening. That's why we're here today: to introduce to you the new directors for our portfolio companies, who will provide the independence and strong oversight you asked for."

  3. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2013 at 12:50 PM

    After finally getting to meet Mr. Schwarzman, the penguins communicated their displeasure with their year end bonuses in the only way they knew how.

  4. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2013 at 12:51 PM

    "So you guys are the new IT department over at Dealbreaker?"

  5. Posted by b iteme | January 18, 2013 at 12:54 PM

    "We are not sheep – stop smiling"

  6. Posted by Puck It | January 18, 2013 at 12:55 PM

    "These are my kinda people!"

    —Nails

  7. Posted by CoveredLong | January 18, 2013 at 12:59 PM

    After a grueling night of playing "Duck, Duck, Goose" with penguins – bonuses were awarded to the winners.

  8. Posted by Duncan | January 18, 2013 at 1:09 PM

    "I thought you meant nuns. I thought you were saying a nun took a crap on the carpet."

  9. Posted by Dow30Thou | January 18, 2013 at 1:10 PM

    What's black and white and as red as the Florida panhandle?

  10. Posted by Flarkey | January 18, 2013 at 1:21 PM

    Keep them away from lobster claw! It's a trap!!

  11. Posted by gUEST | January 18, 2013 at 1:26 PM

    Damn it, there is nothing worse than eagerly clicking on a post with a hilarious and original comment idea and then seeing that your idea is the very first comment someone else made. Fuck it, from now on it's nothing but Lynn Tilton jokes.

    -UBS Original Humor Quant

  12. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2013 at 1:31 PM

    Guy in the red tie is definitely rocking a stiffy under the table.

  13. Posted by gUEST | January 18, 2013 at 1:34 PM

    I wanted to make a Michael Jackson joke here but then remembered that he's dead.

  14. Posted by Bored Guest | January 18, 2013 at 1:34 PM

    For the bonus round:

    Penguins to analyst in the corner: "Really? To the DEATH?? Can't one of us just say Uncle?"

  15. Posted by pazzo83 | January 18, 2013 at 1:36 PM

    Lennay…??

    - M Te'o

  16. Posted by politiquant | January 18, 2013 at 1:38 PM

    It's Marco Rubio's doppelganger! And two Blackstone directors.

  17. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2013 at 1:42 PM

    You work at UBS and can't think of anything worse than that?
    Maybe that's why you work at UBS.

    - GS HR Quant

  18. Posted by Bill | January 18, 2013 at 1:43 PM

    Just the two of us, we can make it if we try…

  19. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2013 at 1:44 PM

    While some of Blackstone's junior executives were delighted by the penguins' proposals, others in the room felt that they were "full of shit."

  20. Posted by guest | January 18, 2013 at 1:45 PM

    Dear Steve,

    Don't trust the sea creatures. I don't care what they've told you. Kill them. Kill them all.

    - Jamie

  21. Posted by guest | January 18, 2013 at 1:46 PM

    We've made the penguin exhibit more efficient now.

    Bonus round: They are so cute, but where do we apply the leverage?

  22. Posted by Guaets | January 18, 2013 at 1:52 PM

    Unsolicited gifts/bonuses.
    Pot-ay-to/Po-tah-to.

  23. Posted by guest | January 18, 2013 at 1:54 PM

    No joke, my old man worked for Anheuser Busch when they owned SeaWorld and I got to take a picture sitting on Shamu

  24. Posted by DingALing | January 18, 2013 at 2:03 PM

    Cool

    -Guy that gives a shit

  25. Posted by Ashy Larry | January 18, 2013 at 2:08 PM

    You sure no joke? Cuz it sure sounds like a joke.

  26. Posted by Hobbes | January 18, 2013 at 2:14 PM

    Bonus Round:

    "Meet me at Minetta's, vomit your lunch in front of me so I know it's you."

  27. Posted by Bob | January 18, 2013 at 2:23 PM

    "After years of unsuccessful fertility treatments and one heartbreaking miscarriage, the couple was finally able to conceive."

  28. Posted by Turnip Truck | January 18, 2013 at 2:23 PM

    Good, but needs some Lululemon yoga pants.

  29. Posted by anti-shazar | January 18, 2013 at 2:26 PM

    Bonus Round

    Indian-looking guy on left: These are the assholes I was telling you about
    Blue Shirt guy: But they're penguins
    Indian-looking guy on left: Shut your fucking mouth when i'm talking to the penguins!

  30. Posted by VonSloneker | January 18, 2013 at 2:29 PM

    Steve Schwarzman just before pardoning "Tuxedo" the penguin. Also pictured and not as fortunate, "Chilz" the penguin and a human Monchichi will be the main course at Steve's MLK Day cook out.

  31. Posted by Just sayin | January 18, 2013 at 2:32 PM

    Blackstone…"keeping your bird in our hands while we tongue your eggs"

  32. Posted by zoroz | January 18, 2013 at 2:32 PM

    "No, I am serious, the birdkeepers do that to increase egg production, keep going…"

  33. Posted by Skipper | January 18, 2013 at 2:32 PM

    "Kowalski! – Where's Private?"

  34. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2013 at 2:33 PM

    2012 North American Stone Crab Advisory Committee

    from left to right:
    front row- Chilly Willy,Chairman: Pingu, Hon. Secretary
    back row- Bob Fish, Treasurer; Steve Schwarzman, Vice Chairman

  35. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2013 at 2:40 PM

    Bonus round, clockwise from bottom: maybe, maybe, no, no, no, no, no and no

    The guy in the red tie seems to be an emphatic "yes, yes"

  36. Posted by gUEST | January 18, 2013 at 3:11 PM

    Sheesh, more thumbs downs than a Jim Cramer comment? Guess I better examine my motives…

  37. Posted by nihoncassandra | January 18, 2013 at 3:33 PM

    Schwarzman: "….Fly? Fly? Of course they can fucking fly! If I tell those little shits to fly, they'll sure as fuckin' hell fly…!

  38. Posted by Squo | January 18, 2013 at 3:36 PM

    This ain't SeaWorld, this is real as it gets.

  39. Posted by nihoncassandra | January 18, 2013 at 3:45 PM

    Bonus Round….

    Bald-Guy With Glasses: "Listen-up everyone ….Mr Schwarzman said to make 'em fly by the AM or don't bother coming in tomorrow…"

    Red-Tie Guy: "We're on the 61st Floor so I'm quite sure I can make them fly…ummm but like I don't know whether I can teach them to land well enough…

  40. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2013 at 3:47 PM

    Worst comment ever.

  41. Posted by Penguin | January 18, 2013 at 4:44 PM

    "how many times do we have to shit the place before this janitor on the left cleans it up?"

  42. Posted by DB IT Hamster | January 18, 2013 at 4:45 PM

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Wait – what?

  43. Posted by Guest | January 18, 2013 at 5:04 PM

    I'm used to clubbing baby seals, but these will do

  44. Posted by Mrs_Slocombe | January 18, 2013 at 5:05 PM

    No need to make excuses for your honeymoon wedding photos.

  45. Posted by Penguin #1 | January 18, 2013 at 8:01 PM

    The ocean called, they are running out of stone crab

  46. Posted by Scumby | January 20, 2013 at 2:05 PM

    The SEC sent its top enforcement field officers to investigate Blackstone's fishy financial transactions, but they wound up giving them a clean bill of health.

  47. Posted by gfgf | January 21, 2013 at 8:25 PM

    Black tie affair photobomb

  48. Posted by cinsel chat | March 13, 2013 at 11:43 AM

    ack tie affair photobom

  49. Posted by sohbet | March 24, 2013 at 2:22 AM

    we always do a great job with our layoffs.

  50. Posted by sohbet | April 18, 2013 at 9:33 AM

    SEC sent its top enforcement field officers to investigate Blackstone's fishy financial transactions, but they wound up giving them a clean bill of

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  53. Posted by sohbet | July 8, 2013 at 9:05 PM

    officers to investigate Blackstone's fishy financial transactions, but they wound up giving them

  54. Posted by gehen hier | July 11, 2013 at 6:18 PM

    This couple is beautiful!! they influenced the thematic park and the staff haha.

  55. Posted by Mikes | July 21, 2013 at 8:17 AM

    Very interesting Point of view Bess, thanks for sharing

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  58. Posted by susanlacey | January 30, 2014 at 8:51 AM

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