According to Fox Business reporter Chaz Gasparino, the hedge fund has been working overtime to convince investors ahead of the February 15 deadline for submitting redemption notices to stick with Steve. With a moderately to majorly amazing sales pitch:
Sayeth Chaz:
“SAC senior officials are scrambling to prevent massive redemptions from the $14 billion hedge funds and are currently contacting and holding one-on-one meetings with large investors.* Basically they’re saying don’t pull out, we think we have this under control. They’re saying despite everything you’ve heard, the criminal charges against [Matthew] Martoma, the investigation that involves Steve Cohen…they think Steve Cohen is going to be OK. Internally, they’re saying we may get a large fine, we think we are going to get a large fine, we think we are facing charges but we are not going to be indicted so keep your money with us.”
SAC Capital Scrambling To Prevent Massive Redemptions [VW via CG]
Related: Blackstone seen sticking with SAC despite insider trading probe; Clock Ticks For SAC Investors
*Please say they’ve set up one of those telemarketing phone centers with employees wearing headsets and computers rigged so that for every 15th investor, it’s Cohen himself who talks to them.
And if yet again for the cheap seats, make sure it's clear that the quote is attributable to Gasparino, and not to SAC.
No shit.
Steve: "… will I pay the fine myself? … You mean me, as in SAC Capital? … Yes they are synonymous … Now hold on, you signed up for 3-and-50 … No I will not pay fines out of pocket … Get the fuck out of my fund!"
*SLAM*
IR Head: "Oh, Steve."
Pretty sure everyone was tipped off to that by the line "SAYETH CHAZ"
"[W]e think we are facing charges but we are not going to be indicted."
Man, if I had a nickel for every time I had to say that, I'd be in the 3c7 fund by now.
I've.. got..two tickets to paradise…..!
-Stevie Money
I think your brain has a thick candy shell
Un pasaporte para Esteban Cohen, por favor.
Wait a sec, Chazza. I thought the funds were mostly SAC's personal money. Are you trying to tell us that SAC is busting his a$$ to stop himself from making a sizeable redemption?
"Basically they’re saying don’t pull out"
I once said that, big mistake.
-Mrs. Shazar
They really just need to raise money for a new special situations fund, call it AMOTRAM, that will shoot the total balance to a cayman account and cross its fingers.
well at least two tickets…
"from" the cheap seats…..
Ooooh….double fallopian tube BURN!
-Easy Peasy Leviney Squeezy
Cohen on Line 1 to anonymous investor:
“Yes, I’ve heard about the notion that I could be indicted as head of SAC. I’m not flattered, but it really is a bad idea. Part of the reason is that I am indeed the World’s Worst Administrator — and that does matter. Someone else can do the legal work — but an administrative job requires making hiring and firing decisions, it means keeping track of many things, and that, to say the least, is not my forte…employees inside my business can of course have even more influence — but only if they’re good at a very different kind of game, that of persuading the investors in behind-closed-doors discussion. And everything I know about myself says that I’m not very good at that game. By my reckoning, then, any redemption , no matter how small, would actually reduce my influence, leaving me unable to say publicly what I really think and all too probably finding myself unable to make headway in internal debates.”
Tony Danza really let himself go..
you can say ass here
Frankly, kind of wary of a man who won't do so, regardless of the forum.
You're telling me. Now gimme back my marker.
-Ping
Better that than letting people bust in your ass, Gaspo.
-SAC
"Let's just say that we're not worried about the Federal government pressing charges, based on a new hire we've got coming in . . . right around the time the President appoints the new Secretary of the Treasure," *wink* *wink*
These pretzels are making me thirsty
My dear Mr. Cohen:
We would like to speak with you about our premium business relocation service. Do contact us at your earliest convenience.
-Dr. F. von Geldrauber
Geschaftsforderung Direktor
Kanton Zug
Zug, CH
PS- The Swiss Federal Railways would also like me to mention their special freight rate for large mammals and carcharhinoforms preserved in fluid.
This is the only blog where I have to look up words used by the commentariat.
My couch pulls out, but I don't.
Leaving your money with this sinking ship is inviting destitution. The gang in charge are heading to the Big House.
telling these little stories, here's a good idea: Have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener.