Hedge Funds

Charlie Gasparino: SAC Capital Busting Its Ass To Prevent Redemptions

According to Fox Business reporter Chaz Gasparino, the hedge fund has been working overtime to convince investors ahead of the February 15 deadline for submitting redemption notices to stick with Steve. With a moderately to majorly amazing sales pitch:

Sayeth Chaz:

“SAC senior officials are scrambling to prevent massive redemptions from the $14 billion hedge funds and are currently contacting and holding one-on-one meetings with large investors.* Basically they’re saying don’t pull out, we think we have this under control. They’re saying despite everything you’ve heard, the criminal charges against [Matthew] Martoma, the investigation that involves Steve Cohen…they think Steve Cohen is going to be OK. Internally, they’re saying we may get a large fine, we think we are going to get a large fine, we think we are facing charges but we are not going to be indicted so keep your money with us.”

SAC Capital Scrambling To Prevent Massive Redemptions [VW via CG]
Related: Blackstone seen sticking with SAC despite insider trading probe; Clock Ticks For SAC Investors
*Please say they’ve set up one of those telemarketing phone centers with employees wearing headsets and computers rigged so that for every 15th investor, it’s Cohen himself who talks to them.

(hidden for your protection)
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28 Responses to “Charlie Gasparino: SAC Capital Busting Its Ass To Prevent Redemptions”

  1. WrteStufLA says:

    And if yet again for the cheap seats, make sure it's clear that the quote is attributable to Gasparino, and not to SAC.

  2. Guest says:

    Steve: "… will I pay the fine myself? … You mean me, as in SAC Capital? … Yes they are synonymous … Now hold on, you signed up for 3-and-50 … No I will not pay fines out of pocket … Get the fuck out of my fund!"


    IR Head: "Oh, Steve."

  3. Incitatus says:

    "[W]e think we are facing charges but we are not going to be indicted."

    Man, if I had a nickel for every time I had to say that, I'd be in the 3c7 fund by now.

  4. Guest says:

    I've.. got..two tickets to paradise…..!

    -Stevie Money

  5. Guest says:

    I think your brain has a thick candy shell

  6. Guest says:

    Un pasaporte para Esteban Cohen, por favor.

  7. Guest says:

    Wait a sec, Chazza. I thought the funds were mostly SAC's personal money. Are you trying to tell us that SAC is busting his a$$ to stop himself from making a sizeable redemption?

  8. Jon's Mom says:

    "Basically they’re saying don’t pull out"

    I once said that, big mistake.

    -Mrs. Shazar

  9. HighFrequencyHater says:

    They really just need to raise money for a new special situations fund, call it AMOTRAM, that will shoot the total balance to a cayman account and cross its fingers.

  10. Deja Vu says:

    Cohen on Line 1 to anonymous investor:

    “Yes, I’ve heard about the notion that I could be indicted as head of SAC. I’m not flattered, but it really is a bad idea. Part of the reason is that I am indeed the World’s Worst Administrator — and that does matter. Someone else can do the legal work — but an administrative job requires making hiring and firing decisions, it means keeping track of many things, and that, to say the least, is not my forte…employees inside my business can of course have even more influence — but only if they’re good at a very different kind of game, that of persuading the investors in behind-closed-doors discussion. And everything I know about myself says that I’m not very good at that game. By my reckoning, then, any redemption , no matter how small, would actually reduce my influence, leaving me unable to say publicly what I really think and all too probably finding myself unable to make headway in internal debates.”

  11. Guest says:

    Tony Danza really let himself go..

  12. Guesticle says:

    Better that than letting people bust in your ass, Gaspo.


  13. Guest says:

    "Let's just say that we're not worried about the Federal government pressing charges, based on a new hire we've got coming in . . . right around the time the President appoints the new Secretary of the Treasure," *wink* *wink*

  14. Steve says:

    These pretzels are making me thirsty

  15. PermaGuestII says:

    My dear Mr. Cohen:

    We would like to speak with you about our premium business relocation service. Do contact us at your earliest convenience.

    -Dr. F. von Geldrauber
    Geschaftsforderung Direktor
    Kanton Zug
    Zug, CH

    PS- The Swiss Federal Railways would also like me to mention their special freight rate for large mammals and carcharhinoforms preserved in fluid.

  16. creepy bro says:

    My couch pulls out, but I don't.

  17. greybees says:

    Leaving your money with this sinking ship is inviting destitution. The gang in charge are heading to the Big House.

  18. sohbet says:

    telling these little stories, here's a good idea: Have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener.

  19. sohbet says:

    probably do want to have some people around who can make investing decisions rather than just a bunch of ADD-addled