The hedge fund billionaire will become CEO at the struggling department store chain Sears Holdings Corp, succeeding Lou D’Ambrosio, who headed up the company for around two years. Mr. D’Ambrosio’s departure was influenced by a close family member’s medical condition, people familiar with the matter said…”There’s a very big difference between being a CEO of a company and a shareholder or chairman of a company,” said Mr. Lampert, whose hedge fund ESL Investments Inc. controls 56.2% of Sears shares. But, he said, his longtime board seats at Autozone  and AutoNation have taught him a lot about retailing. [WSJ]

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Comments (25)

  1. Posted by Lowly Assistant | January 9, 2013 at 1:02 PM

    Okay, seriously, what the fuck is he going to saw on that ladder?

  2. Posted by Guest | January 9, 2013 at 1:08 PM

    He could start by actually trying to buy something at Sears. I'm convinced you could walk in with a $100 bill taped to your head, a sandwich board that says "please sell me something" and still come out empty handed.

  3. Posted by guesticles | January 9, 2013 at 1:16 PM

    Go on.

  4. Posted by Strong Sell | January 9, 2013 at 1:18 PM

    Eddie Lampert? The guy is the biggest doofus in the business.

  5. Posted by sme | January 9, 2013 at 1:21 PM

    come on, he looks right at home in that photo.

    tell me you wouldn't buy a circular saw from a lanky fella wearing a tailored suit in the tool department at Sears?

    "ah yes, sir, I believe we have the part you are looking for right at the top of these here stairs…"

  6. Posted by Guest | January 9, 2013 at 1:23 PM

    This is how we chose a captain for maiden voyages.

    -J B Ismay White Star Lines Chairman

  7. Posted by Mike Corbat | January 9, 2013 at 1:27 PM

    Have you looked at any of their weight sets?

  8. Posted by BrickaBrack | January 9, 2013 at 1:38 PM

    I love Lamp…..ert.

  9. Posted by Dan Loeb | January 9, 2013 at 1:38 PM

    My advice – switch to selling natural supplements

  10. Posted by Hungry | January 9, 2013 at 1:51 PM

    So, he's going to start integrating Blimpie's into Sears stores to attack the Walmart/Subway sandwich board juggernaut?

  11. Posted by Guess(t) | January 9, 2013 at 1:52 PM

    Blue collar circumcision?

  12. Posted by Nervous Jew | January 9, 2013 at 1:53 PM

    The circular saw, drill bits and his cold dead eyes make me very nervous.

  13. Posted by Nigel Dickson | January 9, 2013 at 2:14 PM

    My name speaks for my work.

  14. Posted by Sears Tower | January 9, 2013 at 2:19 PM

    They hired a gay guy?

  15. Posted by PermaGuestII | January 9, 2013 at 2:27 PM

    "I watched Matlock in a bar last night; the sound was off but I think I caught the gist of it."

  16. Posted by Guest | January 9, 2013 at 2:28 PM

    Sounds like Eddie stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

  17. Posted by Chazz@Subway | January 9, 2013 at 2:48 PM

    Including warning signs that customers may have to defend themselves like men should they request certain condiments.

  18. Posted by Guest | January 9, 2013 at 2:52 PM

    He must directly below you at the base of the doofus totem pole then. How's the view from your position standing on his shoulders?

  19. Posted by Guest | January 9, 2013 at 2:56 PM

    I don't understand your confusion.

    – UBS "take a saw to the branch you're sitting on" Quant

  20. Posted by Wild MAN | January 9, 2013 at 3:41 PM

    I'm gonna love watching him and his giant ego trying to make a horse race out of it.

  21. Posted by Broni | January 9, 2013 at 3:42 PM

    He's so cute I could just kidnap him!

  22. Posted by Strong Sell Guest | January 9, 2013 at 3:42 PM

    Bid getting lowered

  23. Posted by Louis Winthorpe III | January 9, 2013 at 4:06 PM

    I don't think he could look more Patrick Bateman-esque in a legitimate, publicly-released corporate photo if he tried.

  24. Posted by sohbet | May 12, 2013 at 6:31 PM

    telling these little stories, here's a good idea: Have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener.

  25. Posted by sohbet | July 8, 2013 at 9:26 PM

    officers to investigate Blackstone's fishy financial transactions, but they wound up giving them