• 10 Jan 2013 at 3:15 PM

Want To Wake Up With Mandy Drury?

Or Becky Quick? Or Andrew Ross Sorkin? Joe Kernen? Jim Cramer? Because you think it would be a pleasant way to start the morning or, alternatively, a horrifying way sure to get you out of bed without delay? Now you can!

CNBC has launched an alarm clock app that allows you to select your anchor of choice for a daily wake-up call. Sadly, they are not personalized to the user but each host does wake you up in his or her own distinctive way (Sorkin says “It’s go time,” while Jim Cramer shrieks “WAKE UP AND BUY 100 SHARES OF BEAR STEARNS”).* Joe Kernen was very disappointed to hear Becky Quick’s line is not “Wake up, baby” but you can download the dulcet tones of Rick Santelli, so it’s not all bad.

Chairs: CNBC Launches Alarm Clock App [CNBC]
*Actually just “WAKE UP!” but a girl can dream. While we’re dreaming, perhaps “They know nothing!”? For version 2.0?

19 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (19)

  1. Posted by VonSloneker | January 10, 2013 at 3:26 PM

    "Wake up and help me find my underwear, Baby"

    – Jackie DeAngelis & Kelly Evans

  2. Posted by DB User #1 | January 10, 2013 at 3:26 PM

    Thanks for the tip, but I am happy with my MSNBC alarm clock app. I enjoy getting up to the roaring thunder of Rachel Maddows queefs.

  3. Posted by Scary times | January 10, 2013 at 3:31 PM

    Will the Cramer one be accompanied by a text from his DB account?

  4. Posted by Guest | January 10, 2013 at 3:37 PM

    I'd rather wake up to Shazar's chihuahua pissing in my ear than wake up to any one of those clowns.

  5. Posted by CoveredLong | January 10, 2013 at 3:41 PM

    After reading the sponsored content, I've decided to hold out for the app that wakes me up with the soothing sounds of t.A.T.u's "All The Things She Said" and a fresh Taco Bell Loaded Griller.

  6. Posted by Bored Guest | January 10, 2013 at 3:51 PM

    Runnin' through my head, runnin' through my head…

    WELL! Day = ruined.

  7. Posted by VonSloneker | January 10, 2013 at 3:55 PM

    Soothing sounds of what??? Little darling close your eyes, there'll be no compromising…

    – Simple Minds

  8. Posted by Donnie Wahlberg | January 10, 2013 at 4:00 PM

    Dulcet tones of Santelli crooning 'Nothing at All' backed by O-Town.

    They gotta be working cheap these days, no?

  9. Posted by Guest | January 10, 2013 at 4:01 PM

    Is there an option to wake up to Gasparino grunting while doing savage torturous squat thrusts in the Equinox steam room?

    -asking for a friend

  10. Posted by FKApmco | January 10, 2013 at 4:02 PM

    Bessar: we need a DB app stat. Just think of the possibilities.
    Mrs Naked Short: it's not in our color palette
    Perma: a selection of 6 different quotes about WWI, WWII or battle ships
    VonStonker: a whinny (if you don't get this joke you are not a true DB reader)
    Me: anything you want me to say in any language
    Etc. etc. etc.

    Matt we will save for the insomnia app.

  11. Posted by Guest | January 10, 2013 at 4:09 PM

    No clock for me either. I glued a picture of Bess's head to a canteloupe along with one of those chips in a Hallmark card that says "Happy Birthday, sunshine" and set it to go off at 5:30am.

    -Guy who realizes the real Bess doesn't actually get up that early but…

  12. Posted by Guest | January 10, 2013 at 4:27 PM

    Can I get Jeff Macke screaming at me in tongues?

  13. Posted by Shazar | January 10, 2013 at 4:31 PM

    Go on…

  14. Posted by Erin | January 10, 2013 at 4:35 PM

    I hear they archived the audio of Maria doung that Citi guy on the plane from Davos
    For use in future contract disputes.

  15. Posted by Clock Radio Quant | January 10, 2013 at 4:56 PM

    East texas oil trader for those hungover mornings where you need something extra loud.

  16. Posted by J. Gundlach | January 10, 2013 at 4:57 PM

    Hmm, I wonder if something like this could help my employees get motivated in the morning.

  17. Posted by Pietro_F | January 10, 2013 at 5:04 PM

    Will they include Reformed Broker talking out of both sides simultaneously?

  18. Posted by guest | January 10, 2013 at 5:08 PM

    Headline is misleading…


  19. Posted by Keep This Going | January 10, 2013 at 6:08 PM

    Dennis K bitching about his poor treatment on Dealbreaker? Dylan Ratigan talking about what meth-binge-inspired costume he's going to pull out that day?