• 20 Feb 2013 at 2:03 PM

Cap’n Lloyd’s Cruise Line Opens

By Jon Shazar

Good news, denizens of the House of Blankfein: You’ll no longer need to endure the indignity of the PATH train or a dingy New York Waterway ferry to get from HQ on West Street to the House That Jon Corzine Built on the opposite side of the river.

It is a mystery that has drifted around New York Harbor for two years: Why did one of the world’s biggest investment banks buy two custom-made ferry boats and leave them bobbing, unused, on the Hudson River?

On Tuesday, the idleness ended when the boats — named York and Jersey — suddenly slipped into service as commuter ferries, carrying passengers, bank employees or not, between Lower Manhattan and Jersey City. The same passengers who paid $6 each way to ride a New York Waterway workhorse last week have traded up to smoother, quieter boats with plush seating, courtesy of the bank, Goldman Sachs.

The bad news is, you’ll have to share the $2.5 million floating pleasure palaces with the masses.

The 72-foot-long catamarans may have been built to Wall Street standards, but because they land at a public pier near the World Financial Center, Goldman could not exclude the public — just as if Citigroup had bought a fancy bus and asked the Metropolitan Transportation Authority to run it from the bank’s headquarters on Park Avenue to its trading base in TriBeCa.

On Hudson, Bank’s Ferries Are Finally in Service [NYT]

Comments (13)

  1. 1
    Posted by Grull | February 20, 2013 at 2:21 PM

    My…chain…hang…down…to my dick

  2. 2
    Posted by Cypress Gardens Guy | February 20, 2013 at 2:43 PM

    I hear the Shaz is a top-tier water-skier.

  3. 3
    Posted by Expert Cartographer | February 20, 2013 at 2:50 PM

    The East River Cruise Line? Really Shazar? That's the body of water between Manhattan and Jersey City?

    Fucking schmuck.

  4. 4
    Posted by Guest | February 20, 2013 at 3:06 PM

    Almost.

  5. 5
    Posted by Falista Cockshart | February 20, 2013 at 3:08 PM

    Well, the Hudson river is a river in the East. But the hyphen fucks you in the ass. So, no soup for you.

  6. 6
    Posted by Guest | February 20, 2013 at 3:12 PM

    Shazar is based out of Bangalore

  7. 7
    Posted by Guest | February 20, 2013 at 3:44 PM

    It is on Apple maps

  8. 8
    Posted by V. Gambino | February 20, 2013 at 3:45 PM

    We can make him east river based for the right price…

  9. 9
    Posted by Guest | February 20, 2013 at 4:01 PM

    Shazar molested me in a van down by the East West River.

  10. 10
    Posted by Guest | February 20, 2013 at 4:19 PM

    All of these comments are so hilarious that I am lead to only one conclusion, all of these comments are Shazar himself.

  11. 11
    Posted by Humanity | February 20, 2013 at 4:47 PM

    There is only an idea of shaznam…..

    A terrible turgid idea.

  12. 12
    Posted by spiderbro | February 20, 2013 at 5:05 PM

    "An earlier edition of this story incorrectly referred to the Hudson River as the East River."

  13. 13
    Posted by Gary Cohn's Stance | February 21, 2013 at 2:03 PM

    Can the commentariat take a stab at what nicknames Shazar has tried to give himself over the years?