Sixty-percent of the time it works every time.
Anton Kreil, the ex-Goldman Sachs trader-turned trader-teacher, suggested that the best way to communicate a penurious bonus to a spouse would be to withdraw the bonus from the bank and to present it to him/her in bundles of notes. “Money always looks like a lot more when you actually see it physically,” said Kreil. “If I had a disappointing bonus, I’d withdraw it all and give it to my wife for her to count.” If you’re bonus is bad, you should try to evince empathy in your spouse, advised Lex Van Dam, another ex-Goldman trader. “Come in with tears in your eyes and look like you’re about to faint,” he said. “She’ll immediately know and you won’t have to explain too much.”
How to tell your wife — or husband — you got a bad bonus [eFinancial]
Better yet, take it in bags of pennies and she'll never be able to count it!
you can tell her you got like a 3k bonus and its really only 40 bux in loose change!
UBS MD
Please. If I wan't to throw money at a woman while holding back tears, she ain't gonna be my wife.
We take our bonus as used taco bell wrappers.
Any tips on how to communicate info about a lackluster bonus to multiple parties via mass text?
Damn, you guys are getting that much ass huh?
I also did this with my dick when we dated.
Or better yet, tell your wife instead of a cash bonus, you accepted…….. an all inclusive trip to the University of San Diego School of Law Transfer Pricing Conference! That's right babe! You, me, and the beach! Actually we probably won't have time for the beach, but you can probably catch a view of it as we ride our Kia Rio rental car from the air port Ramada Inn to the San Diego Conference Center. Well honey, wadda think?!
"Trading is what I do for living. Financial education is my way of giving back to society.’
- Lex Van Dam
PS – his trading course is discounted from $799 to $199 at the moment. Act quickly!
Any advice on how to communicate to the spouse that you got sixteen hours of leave instead of twenty-four as your annual bonus?
- Government Regulator
Can't I just defer having to have this conversation until my bonus is actually payable?
Since when did rich men listen/care about what their trophy wives have to say??
The best part of keeping such women is that you can toss them when they get too lippy.
Jesus fucking Christ on a cross, grow a fucking pair already ladies.
Maybe if she came home with a stack of singles every night, my bonus wouldn't be such a big deal.
Buy an iPhone.
or too old
Getting a shitty bonus: common.
Getting your bank to send the Feds a suspicious transaction report on you because of abnormal cash withdrawals >$10k: priceless.
-AML quant
+1000
But that's just like asking a cab driver to steal/fail to return it when it falls out of my pocket on the was back from Murray Hill.
So not having to worry about the iOS upgrade thanks to a lack of a family iPad and also being able to deploy the above referenced strategy free of the concerns you just mentioned, things are looking better and better everyday!
The wife always has tears in her eyes when I come in. Why is bonus day different?
Mock the ads if you want, but they're working.
Last friday, my meetings ended early so I went to the 5th fl of the Puck building and got myself some warby parkers….
Not on my watch, hipster.
Downvoted,
And then proceed to smack her upside the head with the bag of coins. Knock her out to show who's the bosssss.
Assuming a little much on the comp. #, are we?
I prefer cricket bats.
– Oscar P.
If I show my wife big wad of singles, does it mean I'll have to ask a stripper to pack my brown lunch bag for next day? Could I take default insurance on that transaction.
UBS Swaps quant.
is that a division of BAML ?
You did fine with Hemingway's sentiment, but you failed in delivery.
Yes, the "pimp roll" diversionary tactic will work…if your wife is a ho.
- Velvet Jones
Too soon. I have advanced you a +1 for roughly two weeks from now.
- Digital Approval Quant
Who the hell tells their wife about their bonus.
- Surreptitious Cayman Depositor
Since I don't do +1s in my margin account, I just advanced you one now. But it IS too soon.
No one ever pays MY bonus in trident layers
The good news for most of the guys who work for me is that I am keeping almost all of the money for me! You won't have to have that awkward conversation…….
Scottie Ikill
Your you're bonus. Its wonder it's a living for this guy.
Shut up, old man.
–Hemingway's shotgun, 1961
Ha, like she can even count 100 dollar bills?
how do you do this with 0?