Opening Bell: 02.14.13

Berkshire, 3G to Buy Heinz for $23 Billion (WSJ)
Under the terms of the deal, which has been unanimously approved by Heinz’s board, shareholders will receive $72.50 in cash for each share, a 20% premium to Wednesday’s close. Shares of Heinz, which has been trading at all-time highs, were up 20% at $72.82 premarket, topping the offer price and suggesting investors might be looking for a higher bid. Including debt assumption, the deal is worth $28 billion.

American and US Airways Announce Deal for $11 Billion Merger (DealBook)
Under the terms of the deal, US Airways shareholders would own 28 percent of the combined airline, while American Airlines shareholders, creditors, labor unions and employees would own 72 percent. The merger would create a company with the size and breadth to compete against United Airlines and Delta Air Lines, which have grown through mergers of their own in recent years and are currently the biggest domestic carriers. The combined airline will have more than 100 million frequent fliers.

Weekly Claims Slide as Jobs Picture Strengthens (Reuters)
The number of Americans filing new claims for unemployment benefits fell more than expected last week, pointing to a continued steady improvement in labor market conditions. Initial claims for state unemployment benefits dropped 27,000 to a seasonally adjusted 341,000, the Labor Department said on Thursday. The prior week’s claims figure was revised to show 2,000 more applications received than previously reported. Economists polled by Reuters had expected claims to fall to 360,000.

Fat-Cat Pay Makes Swiss So Mad Wages Face National Vote (Bloomberg)
With more than 100,000 Swiss citizens having signed a petition to limit “fat-cat” pay, voters will decide at a March 3 referendum whether top executives should have their compensation set by shareholders. While a poll shows a majority may vote yes, the industry’s lobby group warns that it will drive out tax-paying companies and is campaigning for a softer counter proposal.

Valentine Heartbreak for Bankers No One Wants to Date [EFC]
Bankers aren’t actually seen as desirable dates. A 2012 survey of 5,000 Britons by dating website found that bankers don’t feature in either sex’s definition of their preferred partners. Most of all, women want to date firemen, teachers and musicians. Men are keenest on nurses, scientists and accountants. … “The City is such a competitive place that the big swingers wouldn’t be seen dead with a ropey bird,” Geraint Anderson, the ex-equity researcher turned author told us. “There’s an expectation that as a banker you’ll have a hot woman because you’re rich.”

Strip Clubs to Bars Feel the Pain of London Banking Cuts (CNBC)
“They tell me inside on the floor that business is going down,the customers are spending less money, there’s a smaller amount of people coming in now,” a source at a prominent central London strip club told CNBC.

Eurozone economy shrinks 0.6% (FT)
Europe’s brittle economies shrank at their fastest rate since the collapse of Lehman Brothers four years ago, official data for the fourth quarter of 2012 showed on Thursday, with both strong and weak countries falling short of expectations. News of the eurozone’s 0.6 per cent quarter-on-quarter drop, deepening the bloc’s recession, and the woeful country-specific performances hit the euro, which fell 1 per cent against the dollar. The single currency’s recent strong appreciation has fuelled fears that a nascent recovery for the bloc may be dead in the water. Consensus forecasts had expected a 0.4 per cent contraction in gross domestic product for the eurozone in the final quarter of 2012.

SAC Capital Manager Awaits Word on Charges (DealBook)
Federal prosecutors are nearing a decision whether to bring criminal charges against Michael Steinberg, a longtime portfolio manager at SAC Capital Advisors, the giant hedge fund owned by the billionaire investor Steven A. Cohen. In recent months, a former SAC analyst who worked directly for Mr. Steinberg has met with authorities and provided them with information about his former boss, according to a person with direct knowledge of the investigation. The analyst, Jon Horvath, has been cooperating with the government since pleading guilty in September to insider trading charges.

Banks Warned Not to Leave Libor (WSJ)
The Financial Services Authority recently sent letters to a handful of major banks — including France’s BNP Paribas SA and the Netherlands’ Rabobank Group — warning them not to pull out of the panel that sets the London interbank offered rate, or Libor, these people said. The letters came after executives at those banks privately informed the British Bankers’ Association, the trade organization that oversees Libor, that they planned to exit the rate-setting panel.

In High-Tech Japan, the Fax Machines Roll On (NYT)
“The fax was such a success here that it has proven hard to replace,” said Kenichi Shibata, a manager at NTT Communications, which led development of the technology in the 1970s. “It has grown unusually deep roots into Japanese society.” The Japanese government’s Cabinet Office said that almost 100 percent of business offices and 45 percent of private homes had a fax machine as of 2011.

French driver trapped for an hour in speeding 125mph car with no brakes (Guardian)
When Frank Lecerf drove off to do his weekly supermarket shop in northern France, he was not expecting to embark on a high-speed car chase that would force him over the Belgian border and on to the national news bulletins. Lecerf has filed a legal complaint after his Renault Laguna, which is adapted for disabled drivers, jammed at 200km/h (125mph) and the brakes failed, forcing him to continue careering along a vast stretch of French motorway and into Belgium. Police gave chase until he ran out of petrol and crashed into a ditch.

82 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (82)

  1. Posted by Guesteban | February 14, 2013 at 9:33 AM

    They should make a movie about that runaway car concept. But it would be cooler if it was a bus full of people, maybe with a bomb on it. Someday…

  2. Posted by Married Up | February 14, 2013 at 9:36 AM

    There is no one in the world masterbating more furiously than John Kerry right now. Married some hoe who puts ketchup in a bottle and now he's pimp'n it. Dude gotta weird head, and Russia wont call him back, but the dude is living the life.

  3. Posted by guest | February 14, 2013 at 9:39 AM

    High price hookers my friend, high priced hookers

    -J Kerry

  4. Posted by Guest | February 14, 2013 at 9:42 AM

    Or a cruise ship

  5. Posted by Guest | February 14, 2013 at 9:47 AM

    That is so clearly NOT a corn dog. Other than that, no concerns.

  6. Posted by Im_a_Dude | February 14, 2013 at 9:47 AM

    Can one of the DB commenters from across the pond please tell the rest of what he fuck a "ropey bird" is?

  7. Posted by guest | February 14, 2013 at 9:49 AM

    Hope he jips her for every penny. Karmas a biatch.

    -Ghost of H. John Heinz III, non-tribe member

  8. Posted by velvet melvin | February 14, 2013 at 9:52 AM

    A quick google for "ropey": of poor quality. So a busted slam.

  9. Posted by CNBC Author Quant | February 14, 2013 at 9:54 AM

    Color me shocked the London strip club article wasn't by John Carney

  10. Posted by keanu reeves | February 14, 2013 at 9:55 AM

    Let me blow your mind and tell you about this dream I had.

    ~ Keanu Reeves

  11. Posted by Laxbro | February 14, 2013 at 9:56 AM

    It makes me bummed that I only have the resources to hang with two puppies today, tops. I'm a douche but a charming one at that (parents love me) and there will be some girls that will be hoping for flowers, a text and or me in 3-D. Supply and demand can be so harsh 8(

  12. Posted by guest | February 14, 2013 at 10:03 AM

    "resources to hang with two puppies today"

    Left and right hand?

    -UBS Reality Quant

  13. Posted by Ropey Bird | February 14, 2013 at 10:04 AM

    Guess it's another Feb 14 of Haagen-Daaz and the Jackrabbit. I do think it is cruel that I should learn of my sad fate on the DB comment thread.

  14. Posted by Uncontrollable | February 14, 2013 at 10:04 AM

    I don't get it why he could keep the car on the road at 125mph but ended up in a ditch when it ran out of the gas. French!?

  15. Posted by Guest | February 14, 2013 at 10:07 AM

    Looks like Taylor Swifts mosquito bite titties and limp old fashions caused RFK Jr to rather do 20 to life.

  16. Posted by PermaGuestII | February 14, 2013 at 10:08 AM

    "Men are keenest on nurses, scientists and accountants. …"

    Who in hell was in this survey?

  17. Posted by Seppuku | February 14, 2013 at 10:09 AM

    For japs, every spoken word is considered written in stone. fax was a difficult upgrade.

  18. Posted by guest | February 14, 2013 at 10:14 AM

    He hasn't given up on Mouth yet, not even after a decade of pursuit.

  19. Posted by Austin Powers | February 14, 2013 at 10:16 AM

    I would've thought British chicks would be more interested in dentists than firemen.

  20. Posted by Incitatus | February 14, 2013 at 10:16 AM

    Same here. I have the image of him screaming uncontrollably as he rolls into the ditch at 15mph on fumes.

  21. Posted by Guest | February 14, 2013 at 10:17 AM

    Plus if you put the fax low to the floor, the secretary is forced to bend over…

  22. Posted by Dennis Kneale | February 14, 2013 at 10:21 AM

    Describe these puppies a bit more.

  23. Posted by TraderHoe | February 14, 2013 at 10:23 AM

    Risk-averse, long-term unmarried, zero-cue punk blondes

  24. Posted by Guestalt | February 14, 2013 at 10:24 AM

    This must bea Shazar Opening Bell. Where the fuck is Buffets ukelele?

  25. Posted by PermaGuestII | February 14, 2013 at 10:24 AM

    I don't understand why he couldn't turn the engine off. Or shift into neutral.

  26. Posted by Getco | February 14, 2013 at 10:25 AM

    or a trading algorithim

  27. Posted by Abe_Froman_ | February 14, 2013 at 10:25 AM

    Hmmmm ketchup popsicle

  28. Posted by dec 32 put fly | February 14, 2013 at 10:27 AM

    it's gyp…. as in gypsy

    his disclosures say its all prenuped

    his coin is from boston Forbes family

  29. Posted by dec 32 put fly | February 14, 2013 at 10:28 AM


  30. Posted by LaQuanta | February 14, 2013 at 10:30 AM

    someone who wants others to believe there are female scientists and accountants

  31. Posted by Laxbro | February 14, 2013 at 10:31 AM

    I don't hate you because you're fat, you're fat because I hate you.

  32. Posted by gust | February 14, 2013 at 10:31 AM

    yoga, bro.

  33. Posted by PermaGuestII | February 14, 2013 at 10:31 AM

    Which in turn is from selling opium to the Chinese.

  34. Posted by MD in Need | February 14, 2013 at 10:32 AM

    My female Analyst is an attractive young women; she is picking up the job really well. “Gloria” as I will refer to her as, is 23, and engaged to "Sam," an extremely attractive and successful entrepreneur. My 26 yr old Associate, "Kim," has been divorced for a year. Her marriage failed two years ago because she and her husband had an appetite for sex outside their marriage. While I was turned on about that, I was horrified to learn that Gloria allows Kim to occasionally have sex with Sam. Gloria’s argument is that Sam is less likely to cheat given this situation. When I asked her and Sam about it, he said it wasn't his idea. I’m devastated that this Sam guy gets to bang both, while I’m left with a chaffing penis over the things I’d do to both of them. I’m not one to hate the player, but these bitches owe their careers to me and I should have been asked to at least watch after the company’s Christmas party. Kim claims she "doesn't have time" to date right now, and this is better than Craigslist. I am distraught about this mess. I’ve considered firing both and hiring some SEC girls.

  35. Posted by Laxbro | February 14, 2013 at 10:34 AM

    Getting Taylor Swift drunk would be pretty chill. I think she's hot, annoying and fake but still hot.

  36. Posted by TraderHoe | February 14, 2013 at 10:35 AM

    Well they are interested in dentists because they don't have any!

  37. Posted by lucas | February 14, 2013 at 10:39 AM

    They say they're interested in musicians, but only until they get a peek at their paycheck. Oh, wait.

  38. Posted by lucas | February 14, 2013 at 10:41 AM

    So not Larry Summers?

  39. Posted by Heinzy French | February 14, 2013 at 10:41 AM

    Eat the Welsh!

  40. Posted by lucas | February 14, 2013 at 10:42 AM

    Zis sophisticated anglo-saxon tecknologie does not exist on a Renault Laguna.

  41. Posted by Guest | February 14, 2013 at 10:44 AM

    That guy from the TV show Unwrapped?

  42. Posted by Marcbro | February 14, 2013 at 10:45 AM

    That's Marc Summers

  43. Posted by Alt_EST | February 14, 2013 at 10:48 AM

    You haven't lived until you've had your prostate stimulated with a pipette

  44. Posted by Texashedge | February 14, 2013 at 10:58 AM

    "They should make a movie about that runaway car concept."

    In all seriousness though, that's the denouement of Who's Harry Crumb

  45. Posted by guest | February 14, 2013 at 11:08 AM

    I'll take two dozen boxes

    -woman in white gloves

  46. Posted by Wire | February 14, 2013 at 11:10 AM

    So he loses it if he divorces Teresa. But until then, furiously.

  47. Posted by SI quant | February 14, 2013 at 11:13 AM

    We need different boobies please.

  48. Posted by Guest Sensei | February 14, 2013 at 11:20 AM

    And there you have it. In just one article title, the "NYTimes" has come up with the definitive allegory for what's wrong with Japan.

    In High-Tech Japan, the Fax Machines Roll On (NYT)

  49. Posted by guest | February 14, 2013 at 11:21 AM

    Clearly there was a problem. The car failed to surrender at the first sign of danger. Rest assured the French Special Forces (aka Paris branch of Salvation Army) are on this.

  50. Posted by DB Compliance | February 14, 2013 at 11:26 AM

    We are going to write you a prescription.

  51. Posted by Half the street | February 14, 2013 at 11:29 AM

    Plus infinity

  52. Posted by Guest | February 14, 2013 at 11:31 AM

    F*ck you.

    – 1989

  53. Posted by guest | February 14, 2013 at 11:33 AM


    Dr. Goodhead and Moneypenny

    ~Guy who's pretty sure this survey must have been taken right after an all Bond weekend on BBC.

  54. Posted by ashamed | February 14, 2013 at 11:44 AM
  55. Posted by Mike Larson | February 14, 2013 at 11:48 AM

    hmm, maybe that's not a bad idea.<img src=""/&gt;

  56. Posted by UBS analyst | February 14, 2013 at 11:48 AM

    Now that it's close to noon I can safely say that my valentines day will be spent in the equivalent of Gundlach's office… Alone

  57. Posted by Guest | February 14, 2013 at 11:50 AM

    Let me blow you.

    ~Lynn T.

  58. Posted by guest | February 14, 2013 at 12:01 PM

    ahhhh the creepy 30 yo boss who dishes out too many fist bumps "pound it, bro" and forces awkward inquiries into the personal (sex) lives of his young staff. Word of advice: you're not the "chill" boss, you're a creepy old man that lacks self-awareness. find a wife and move to CT dude. it's time. oh and stop wearing true religion jeans, converse sneakers and brooks brothers blazers when you go out. it looks like you can't decide if you wanted to dress for a parent teacher conference or a blink 182 concert

  59. Posted by a'dieu | February 14, 2013 at 12:19 PM

    plus he is on the road for four years now, flying private, staying at embassies, good cocktail parties.

    he obv likes foreign snatch, so nice way to sail into sunset.

    wounded vet, killed a gook or two, so he deserves it.

  60. Posted by UBS options | February 14, 2013 at 12:21 PM

    I can't find the hag daz feb 14's..

  61. Posted by guest | February 14, 2013 at 12:25 PM
  62. Posted by guest | February 14, 2013 at 12:26 PM

    it was a modded car for special needs people or something like that

  63. Posted by Im_a_Dude | February 14, 2013 at 12:31 PM

    check again, its coming off the ticker tape machine now.

    -UBS Vice Chair

  64. Posted by guest | February 14, 2013 at 1:08 PM

    comments like yours are so pathetic and make it pretty easy to identify the non-ivy plebs on here. you equate being married to some obnoxious old hag because she has dough to "living the life". you prob couldn't wait to go finance an audemars or lease a 5-series bimmer when you got your first check. i drive a 1999 volvo sedan, rust free, original owner. one in a while i wear a old red sub my dad gave me when i turned 16. money isn't everything. surround yourself with good people and make some positive choices.

  65. Posted by UBS Huge Hit Quant | February 14, 2013 at 1:13 PM

    You must be a huge hit at parties.

  66. Posted by Merry Pason | February 14, 2013 at 1:17 PM

    I don't understand why he's filing a civil complaint against the company. When the accelerator jams and the brakes go out at the same time, seeking a restraining order and criminal charges against your girlfriend might be a better approach.

  67. Posted by Guest | February 14, 2013 at 1:23 PM

    you're the man cool guy

  68. Posted by cup guy | February 14, 2013 at 1:23 PM

    furriously into a cup?

  69. Posted by guest | February 14, 2013 at 1:33 PM

    the real Lynn T wouldn't ask. poseur.

  70. Posted by guest | February 14, 2013 at 1:37 PM

    …… parties you can't get into with girls you can't get close to

  71. Posted by henry blodget | February 14, 2013 at 1:51 PM


    what else did your therapist say

  72. Posted by PippyLongSausage | February 14, 2013 at 2:07 PM

    Your bitterness is showing, brah.

  73. Posted by UBS Moniker Quant | February 14, 2013 at 2:18 PM

    N'08 is back!

  74. Posted by Woody | February 14, 2013 at 2:26 PM

    OH SNAP!

  75. Posted by Guest | February 14, 2013 at 2:31 PM

    That actually sounds fun.

  76. Posted by PermaGuestII | February 14, 2013 at 2:32 PM

    Only a non-Ivy pleb would refer to it *in writing* as a Bimmer.

    -guy who doubts anyone actually born to the purple would be given a $20k watch for his 16th birthday.

  77. Posted by Guest | February 14, 2013 at 2:55 PM

    You must be new here…

  78. Posted by TLDR guy | February 14, 2013 at 3:24 PM


    option 2: Too Boring Didn't Read

  79. Posted by Flo | February 14, 2013 at 3:26 PM

    Pretty sure it was Suzanne Somers

    – not afraid to admit that I'd still hit that

  80. Posted by gUEST | February 14, 2013 at 4:56 PM

    Holy douche chills!

  81. Posted by Longer | February 15, 2013 at 8:12 AM

    fixed it

  82. Posted by Sides split | February 15, 2013 at 8:13 AM

    Ho ho!