Write-Offs: 02.21.13

$$$ Heinz Trader Tied To SEC Probe Was Goldman ‘Private Wealth Client’ [WSJ Law Blog]

$$$ “Billionaire Warren Buffett’s love of ketchup and hash browns is transforming H.J. Heinz Co. into the most-leveraged food maker in America.” [Bloomberg]

$$$ “It is hard to think of an organisation more vocally committed to clear communication while so manifestly failing to communicate clearly than the Federal Reserve” [Free Exchange]

$$$ Hewlett-Packard Profit Down 16% [WSJ]

$$$ Rap Genius Cofounder Is Soliciting Diss Tracks About Warren Buffett, Tells 82-Year-Old Investor to Suck His @$%* [BetaBeat]

$$$ AIG is looking for a managing director for modeling methodologies in New York [DBCC]

$$$ Coatue hosts Apple CFO despite dumping shares [HFI]

$$$ Brussels turns up pressure over Libor [FT]

$$$ Bless Me, Father, for I Have Changed My Algo [Tabb]

$$$ So when three little snobby intern brats who made it clear they worked with him, decided to tip me three dollars on a hundred and ten dollar check, then call me a bitch as they walked out because hey, they work at a bank, and they are just too fucking cool to be nice to lowly bartenders, they had no idea that I would go to my dear friend J. And here’s the thing – J is in his late 40’s. He’s with it, he likes having the in at my bar. Wanna know what J doesn’t like? People associating him with 21 year old twits who tip shitty and call me a bitch on his company’s reputation. J later called the three little interns and told them to come back. He told each to tip me 30 dollars and apologize. As they left, I told them the most important lesson they might ever learn. I am more important to J than they are. They are one in a million on Monster.com. There are a million other Georgetown, Duke, Brown, Yale, Cornell, and UNC kids that could replace them in a second. Their daily routine of getting yelled at and going to pick up lunch for their boss can be performed by any idiot willing to sell his soul for a bullet point on his resume. Me? It took J a year for me to warm up to him. To get the buybacks, to get the reserved tables, to get the “J’s the greatest” in front of the big buyers. I am the reason J comes to this bar. You? You’re about to get fired. [BroBible]

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