Carl Icahn Just Wants To Reiterate That Bill Ackman Wouldn’t Want To Find Himself In Certain Parts Of Queens After Dark

Not back in the day, when Icahn was running the Southeastern Queens chapter of the Jewish Crips and not today, as the elder hedge fund manager presumably maintains ties with the organization, whose members stay current on his various investing nemeses and won’t hesitate to fuck someone up.

Icahn does not even need to be prompted about Ackman. “Ackman would not have lasted long on the streets of Far Rockaway,” Icahn volunteers. “One thing that makes Bill Ackman the opposite of me is that to be a true winner you have to learn to win gracefully. Ackman will never be able to do this.”

Netflix CEO Reed Hastings, on the other hand, never has to worry about paying for a drink in the old neighborhood, or having to tip the stickman at the corner craps game.

“We like Reed Hastings,” says Icahn. “I told him when a guy makes me 800 million bucks, I don’t punch him in the mouth.”

Carl Icahn Unleashed: Wall Street’s Richest Man Is On The Attack — Just Ask Michael Dell [Forbes]
Related: “I went to a tough school in Queens and they used to beat up little Jewish boys”

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44 Responses to “Carl Icahn Just Wants To Reiterate That Bill Ackman Wouldn’t Want To Find Himself In Certain Parts Of Queens After Dark”

  1. Guest says:

    I would hate to be a mouth at UBS.

  2. Billy Crystal says:

    let's see carl icahn cross the bridge to long beach. then we'll see what's up.

  3. Guest says:

    Without the glasses he looks um, different…less tough.

  4. Guest says:

    Far Rockaway is bush league, son.

    -Cos Cob Crips

    • Samoan says:

      Worst comment since last year.

      • Andrew Sorkin says:

        Let's see him talk that shit in near rockaway.

      • Catamite Capital says:

        Well, to be fair, my parents wouldn't let me have play dates with anyone on the Cos Cob Crushers as a kid, because, well, Cos Cob was a bit seedy back in the 90s.

        – I-95 Exit 4 = 8 Mile

        • Truther says:

          The good old days when gas was cheap and black people couldn't vote

        • PermaGuestII says:

          South of the Merritt + West of US 7 = Massapequa with more trees.

        • Hakuna Matata Guy says:

          They wouldn't even let me take the field because I was too fat. Still bothers me, I would love another shot at the Crushers and the Putnam Generals.

          -Darien "White" alumni

  5. Fewdollarsmore says:

    If Icahn is so brave, why did he use Sean Connery's picture for the Forbes cover?

  6. Guest says:

    Bears a striking resemblance to Judd Hirsh in Independence Day

  7. guest says:

    “without selling anything, we can write a check for about $10 billion.” With that kind of ammo Icahn can take on a cash-rich company with a market cap of as much as $50 billion.

    killing it.

  8. Guest says:

    Photoshop is one hell of a program.

  9. Danker_Banker says:

    Thug life!

  10. guest says:

    Bet he gets himself a teardrop tattoo if HLF gets above $70 again.

  11. PermaGuestII says:

    Carl Icahn: another person whom I think would not make it far on the streets of Far Rockaway these days.

    -Guy who suspects the shall we say "ethnic makeup" of that neighborhood may have a changed a bit since Carl's day

  12. Guest says:

    I just gave myself a hot carl.

    -Dennis Gasparino

  13. Carl Mobb Deep Icahn says:

    Word up, son. Word….yeah.
    To all the killers and the billion dollar billers.
    For real hedge funds that ain't got no feelings.

  14. The Bernank says:

    That beard is weak.

  15. Guest says:

    We need to stop this Jew on Jew violence.

    – Rabbi Schlomo Sharpton

  16. Yaniv Vaknin says:

    So… blogging about high finance can be quite challenging. i get it, it's f'n boring subject. I get it.
    So you try to spice it up with witty commentary, some pop culture reference and hope it'll stick. well, it doesn't.

    It's plain embarrassing. this is so f'n awful it hurts my eyes from eye rolling.

  17. Guest says:

    omg Yaniv ball so hard on dat comments sexcyion … get back to work bitch

  18. Guest says:

    What are the Southeastern Queens chapter of the Jewish Crips? Was Ichan ever really in a gang?