Dastardly Thieves Making Off With… Hundreds Of Dollars Of Maple Sap

So you’re telling me this is not a legitimate tap?

Forget gold or diamonds. Maple syrup is the commodity to be stealing these days.

If you thought that last year’s Great Canadian Maple Syrup Heist, from the Fort Knox of sweet goodness, the Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve, was the end of the story, think again. Maple thievery has gone small-time, as would-be breakfast barons and impoverished syrup junkies have taken to tapping maples that aren’t theirs, draining the precious sap that, when arduously boiled for hours or days to reduce it to somewhere between one-twentieth and one-fiftieth of its original volume, is the pure good stuff.

Maine maple syrup is now going for $65 per gallon, which is twice the going rate for Québecois syrup. For some reason.

The thefts occur every year, but this year more have been reported. Those who go onto private property to steal sap can face trespassing, theft or criminal mischief charges, Liba said. He said he knew of a dozen cases under investigation so far this year.

“We are seeing an increase in the theft of maple sap across the state,” Currier posted on the group’s Facebook page Tuesday morning.

“Mostly what is going on is we’re hearing complaints from landowners saying they’re out on their property and come across this bucket with tubes coming out of the tree,” Currier said by phone, describing the equipment needed to tap a tree for its sap.

Mainers finding illegal maple taps, Maine Forest Service says [Bangor Daily News]
Illegal maple tree tappers stealing liquid gold [USAToday video]

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8 Responses to “Dastardly Thieves Making Off With… Hundreds Of Dollars Of Maple Sap”

  1. Im_a_Dude says:

    Shazar, was that your leftover enema?

  2. leveriched says:

    you're fucking kidding me with this post, right Shazar?

  3. Guest says:

    What a sap!

  4. captainned says:

    Lifelong Vermonter here and yes, syrup/sap theft is a Big Deal around here. Make Fancy Grade syrup and your profits are about the only thing keeping your family-heirloom dairy farm alive.

  5. guest says:

    With a bit more effort, I really think you could have made this all one run-on sentence.

  6. asianbankingsensation says:

    Shazar, I tapped your mother

  7. Guest says:

    How does Bess cope with working alongside this guy? I'm sure we can all agree to look the other way if workplace violence will solve the issue… just sayin