He said he was going to quit if stripped of the chairman role, and god damn it, he meant it but luckily: 1. It did not come to that and 2. He got distracted watching that Harlem Shake video Lloyd sent him and fell down a rabbit’s hole of different versions on YouTube, waking up this morning with his face on the keyboard and an email that began “I believe it was John Pierpont Morgan who famously said, ‘You can all go fuck yourselves'” saved to drafts.

Shareholders at JPMorgan Chase will let Jamie Dimon, the chairman and CEO, keep both his jobs. At the bank’s annual meeting, 32 percent of shareholders voted for a measure that would have required the bank to split the roles. Had the measure succeeded, Dimon would have had to relinquish the role of chairman. Shareholder groups lobbying for the split gained momentum from last year’s surprise $6 billion trading loss, which tarnished the reputation of both JPMorgan Chase & Co. and CEO Dimon. The bank and Dimon had argued that letting Dimon keep both jobs was the most effective form of leadership.

JPMorgan shareholders let CEO Jamie Dimon keep chairman job [AP]
Earlier: Confidential To JP Morgan Shareholders: Jamie Dimon Took His Own Non-Binding Vote And Early Results Indicate You People Might Wanna Be Careful What You Wish For; Taking Chairman Title Away From Jamie Dimon Is The Craziest God Damn Thing Ken Langone’s Heard Today; Jimmy Cayne Emerges From His Smoke-Filled Basement To Defend Jamie Dimon

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Comments (13)

  1. Posted by OWS | May 21, 2013 at 12:56 PM

    We are the 32.2%!

  2. Posted by 30% CAGR | May 21, 2013 at 1:01 PM

    By gained momentum the AP means garnered fewer votes

  3. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2013 at 1:07 PM

    What a fatso!

    -5% bodyfatarino

  4. Posted by guest | May 21, 2013 at 1:09 PM

    Point of the article/post is that "Shareholders at JPMorgan Chase will let Jamie Dimon, the chairman and CEO, keep both his jobs" but thanks for the vocabulary lesson?

  5. Posted by Deleveraging | May 21, 2013 at 1:13 PM

    "when you expect things to happen, strangely enough they do happen."

    – J.P. Morgan

  6. Posted by professor dumb | May 21, 2013 at 1:31 PM

    more of a history lesson but whatever …

  7. Posted by PermaGuestII | May 21, 2013 at 1:43 PM

    *Your* company? *Your* company belongs to *my* clients.

    -also J. Pierpont Morgan

    (Guy who is pretty sure old JPM would not like seeing his name plastered on an overgrown Chemical Bank staffed by brainwashed MBAs)

  8. Posted by Duck of Death | May 21, 2013 at 2:09 PM

    Luckily, we avoided that fate.

    — J Bear and R Stearns

  9. Posted by Texashedge | May 21, 2013 at 3:10 PM

    I think I took a class of yours at LSE

  10. Posted by JPM Interns | May 21, 2013 at 4:06 PM

    When we're done renaming the legacy files your names will never be seen again save for microfilm.

  11. Posted by Punctuation police | May 21, 2013 at 4:19 PM

    Hi. This is called a comma: ","

  12. Posted by guestyo | May 21, 2013 at 5:03 PM

    What about me!?!?

    -H Mayer

  13. Posted by PermaGuestII | May 21, 2013 at 7:37 PM

    Go complain to Mr. Slade.