News

Jamie Dimon Pretty Happy He Didn’t Fire Off That Resignation Letter Last Night After His Second Bottle Of Wine

He said he was going to quit if stripped of the chairman role, and god damn it, he meant it but luckily: 1. It did not come to that and 2. He got distracted watching that Harlem Shake video Lloyd sent him and fell down a rabbit’s hole of different versions on YouTube, waking up this morning with his face on the keyboard and an email that began “I believe it was John Pierpont Morgan who famously said, ‘You can all go fuck yourselves'” saved to drafts.

Shareholders at JPMorgan Chase will let Jamie Dimon, the chairman and CEO, keep both his jobs. At the bank’s annual meeting, 32 percent of shareholders voted for a measure that would have required the bank to split the roles. Had the measure succeeded, Dimon would have had to relinquish the role of chairman. Shareholder groups lobbying for the split gained momentum from last year’s surprise $6 billion trading loss, which tarnished the reputation of both JPMorgan Chase & Co. and CEO Dimon. The bank and Dimon had argued that letting Dimon keep both jobs was the most effective form of leadership.

JPMorgan shareholders let CEO Jamie Dimon keep chairman job [AP]
Earlier: Confidential To JP Morgan Shareholders: Jamie Dimon Took His Own Non-Binding Vote And Early Results Indicate You People Might Wanna Be Careful What You Wish For; Taking Chairman Title Away From Jamie Dimon Is The Craziest God Damn Thing Ken Langone’s Heard Today; Jimmy Cayne Emerges From His Smoke-Filled Basement To Defend Jamie Dimon

13 comments
(hidden for your protection)
Show all comments

13 Responses to “Jamie Dimon Pretty Happy He Didn’t Fire Off That Resignation Letter Last Night After His Second Bottle Of Wine”

  1. OWS says:

    We are the 32.2%!

  2. 30% CAGR says:

    By gained momentum the AP means garnered fewer votes

    • guest says:

      Point of the article/post is that "Shareholders at JPMorgan Chase will let Jamie Dimon, the chairman and CEO, keep both his jobs" but thanks for the vocabulary lesson?

  3. Guest says:

    What a fatso!

    -5% bodyfatarino

  4. Deleveraging says:

    "when you expect things to happen, strangely enough they do happen."

    – J.P. Morgan

Our Sites

  • Above the Law
  • How Appealing
  • ATL Redline
  • Breaking Defense
  • Breaking Energy
  • Breaking Gov
  • Dealbreaker
  • Fashonista
  •