Michael Penn has vowed to stay put until someone makes him an offer.

When life gives you a lemon, you make lemonade — or coffee, depending on the time of day. That’s what Michael Penn, 23, is doing to land a career in banking. The Fordham graduate student has opened up a beverage and donut stand outside Goldman Sachs’ HQ downtown to get his name and résumé in front of the managers at the white-shoe firm. But Penn doesn’t want 25 cents for a drink or treat — he wants a job. And showing that he knows his target audience, Penn brings along several female friends to hand out his credentials to passersby. “Sex sells. I needed attraction to draw them to the coffee and lemonade,” he says. “It’s an unconventional investment in my job hunt. My unique form of networking. This reflects my true character and is the way I differentiate myself.” [...] Penn says he plans to continue his promotion outside the bank until he lands a job.

On the one hand, we like this kid’s panache and willingness to put himself out there. On the other, he’s offering Goldman Sachs hiring managers quite the Sophie’s Choice: they don’t give him a job, they lose out on a promising candidate. They do give him a job, they lose out on free donuts.

Fordham grad’s ‘social’ hiring campaign [NYP]

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Comments (41)

  1. Posted by Al Czervik | August 12, 2013 at 5:58 PM

    I really liked his first album

  2. Posted by lemonade analyst | August 12, 2013 at 6:00 PM

    Interesting that this dude has graduated from like 15 schools and had 87 different jobs in the last five years. Something tells me his lemonade stand is going to make onto his resume, as well.
    https://sites.google.com/site/hiremichaelpenn/

  3. Posted by Im_a_Dude | August 12, 2013 at 6:02 PM

    Those are Munchkins boxes, not donuts.

  4. Posted by Hobbes | August 12, 2013 at 6:04 PM

    Something tells me GS employees are not interested in the donut holes Mike is currently offering.

  5. Posted by Neidermeyer | August 12, 2013 at 6:13 PM

    also, pretty sure Alpha Espilon Pi is fake.

  6. Posted by HotKarl | August 12, 2013 at 6:21 PM

    No matter how many slams you bring along to serve as visual eye candy, none are as big a whore as you.

  7. Posted by Guest | August 12, 2013 at 6:23 PM

    With that resume he would be better trying to land a job with the OWS crowd.

  8. Posted by Bob Loblaw | August 12, 2013 at 6:28 PM

    Intern at Law Offices of Barry Zuckerkorn > Intern at Law Offices of Bary Silver

  9. Posted by guest | August 12, 2013 at 6:29 PM

    Tough and maybe a little unfair.

  10. Posted by HotKarl | August 12, 2013 at 6:46 PM

    Michael?

  11. Posted by reospeedwagon916 | August 12, 2013 at 6:51 PM

    Very impressive 3.0 GPA from UofA too.

  12. Posted by guest | August 12, 2013 at 6:53 PM

    And you would describe the rest of the people working on Wall Street as…?

  13. Posted by Guest | August 12, 2013 at 7:08 PM

    I bet the chick in the pic has roots downtown.

  14. Posted by Guest | August 12, 2013 at 9:09 PM

    Still. Beats the hell out of the homeless guy in front of my building.

  15. Posted by Im_a_Dude | August 12, 2013 at 9:17 PM

    I have to say this is a first. I've met a lot of Indians but I've never heard of the University of Bhubaneswar. I bet the girls are smokin there

  16. Posted by TheodoreBallgamePhD | August 12, 2013 at 9:33 PM

    "U.S. Chess Federation National Co-Champion"

    If there is anything that screams, "I get Goldman Sachs," its being a co-champion of something. He'll co-head a Goldman Spec sits desk in no time.

  17. Posted by Guest | August 12, 2013 at 9:43 PM

    Reminds me of rush week in college: the kids would do a bunch of really self-deprecating stuff but the harder they tried, the less of a chance they had to get in. Was still funny to watch though.

  18. Posted by guest | August 13, 2013 at 12:50 AM

    cool story.

  19. Posted by SABB | August 13, 2013 at 3:41 AM

    1. What is with this dark grey / black font switching?

    2. What is this even trying to say, "Daily interactions with attorneys as a mentor system"?

    3. Why is there a minus at the end of this bullet point?

    "Trusted to educate and provide overall safety for over 30 children for 7+ hours a day-"

    Poor effor Michael

  20. Posted by Failed level 1 | August 13, 2013 at 5:18 AM

    From his website

    OBJECTIVE: "Align myself with an ethical company while leveraging my interpersonal and analytical skills to ultimately help the firm improve its ability to source relevant business opportunities"

    And he is standing outside GS looking for a job?

  21. Posted by HotKarl | August 13, 2013 at 7:39 AM

    No shame. No inhibitions. No fear of rejection. Balls the size of cantaloupes. Michael, these are the requisite skills for a successful cold-calling career at John Thomas Finanacial. Give us a call….ask for Tommy.

    – JT Financial HR

    P.S. Our new offices are located in what first appears to be an empty warehouse….knock on the door 5 times and wait for someone to ask you for the password. The password is 'blumpkin'.

  22. Posted by Echo | August 13, 2013 at 9:34 AM

    Chess? Chess!?!? Pussy.

    – G. Smith

  23. Posted by It's All Urine | August 13, 2013 at 9:48 AM

    If he gets in the door, he can regale interviewers with tales from his life long battle with assitis.

    I'll take a douchenut……no, no…..the blueberry one.

  24. Posted by E. Schrodinger | August 13, 2013 at 11:46 AM

    Nothing screams "Hire me GS!" like being a top-rated chess player in 3rd grade. And then quitting.

  25. Posted by Hire The Chick | August 13, 2013 at 1:07 PM

    first of all, you gotta be qualified….what happened to that?

  26. Posted by Guest | August 13, 2013 at 1:09 PM

    TMI bro

  27. Posted by Gusto | August 13, 2013 at 1:10 PM

    pump the chicks,
    dump the candidate

  28. Posted by Confused | August 13, 2013 at 1:21 PM

    How does one "actively participate in depositions and hearings" as in intern?

  29. Posted by Guest | August 13, 2013 at 1:26 PM

    Slore's with expensive taste.

  30. Posted by Guest | August 13, 2013 at 1:27 PM

    Hey!
    -Former UBS MD hoping to land a new gig

  31. Posted by Guest | August 13, 2013 at 2:05 PM

    TIA bru

  32. Posted by Guest | August 13, 2013 at 2:40 PM

    He seems like the type of person who would post his resume on WSO witha title similar to "tear my resume apart".

  33. Posted by Mr. Cocksucker | August 13, 2013 at 3:57 PM

    Maybe he's just looking for someone to dance with.

  34. Posted by OpportunityCost | August 13, 2013 at 4:59 PM

    Was really hoping for a better picture of the girls when i clicked on the article…

  35. Posted by Guest | August 13, 2013 at 5:50 PM

    It's the new "active listening" craze perpetuated by a misguided American school system.

  36. Posted by Jamarkus | August 13, 2013 at 6:20 PM

    If his name was Michael Fordham and he had gone to Penn, I think he'd probably have a better chance.

  37. Posted by J. Bohrer | August 13, 2013 at 9:24 PM

    Jon, this bran muffin-thingy will clear you out….just won't cure those euro trades

  38. Posted by J. Bohrer | August 13, 2013 at 9:25 PM

    shoulda' actually gone to U Penn instead of jus' changin' his last name……rookie

  39. Posted by CEO of Herbalife | August 13, 2013 at 11:32 PM

    I heard that "Ackman" guy is hiring.

  40. Posted by Guest | August 13, 2013 at 11:34 PM

    Even if he gets the job I'm pretty sure the background check will indicate that he's actually vilma from scooby doo.

  41. Posted by DingALing | August 14, 2013 at 12:28 PM

    How can you be a "Co-Champion" in Chess? That sounds like you're sharing the Champion status with someone else. Was there not a final match?