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Goldman Sachs Hopeful Differentiating Himself Outside 200 West With Coffee, Donuts, Hot Chicks

Michael Penn has vowed to stay put until someone makes him an offer.

When life gives you a lemon, you make lemonade — or coffee, depending on the time of day. That’s what Michael Penn, 23, is doing to land a career in banking. The Fordham graduate student has opened up a beverage and donut stand outside Goldman Sachs’ HQ downtown to get his name and résumé in front of the managers at the white-shoe firm. But Penn doesn’t want 25 cents for a drink or treat — he wants a job. And showing that he knows his target audience, Penn brings along several female friends to hand out his credentials to passersby. “Sex sells. I needed attraction to draw them to the coffee and lemonade,” he says. “It’s an unconventional investment in my job hunt. My unique form of networking. This reflects my true character and is the way I differentiate myself.” […] Penn says he plans to continue his promotion outside the bank until he lands a job.

On the one hand, we like this kid’s panache and willingness to put himself out there. On the other, he’s offering Goldman Sachs hiring managers quite the Sophie’s Choice: they don’t give him a job, they lose out on a promising candidate. They do give him a job, they lose out on free donuts.

Fordham grad’s ‘social’ hiring campaign [NYP]

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41 Responses to “Goldman Sachs Hopeful Differentiating Himself Outside 200 West With Coffee, Donuts, Hot Chicks”

  1. Al Czervik says:

    I really liked his first album

  2. lemonade analyst says:

    Interesting that this dude has graduated from like 15 schools and had 87 different jobs in the last five years. Something tells me his lemonade stand is going to make onto his resume, as well.
    https://sites.google.com/site/hiremichaelpenn/

  3. Im_a_Dude says:

    Those are Munchkins boxes, not donuts.

  4. Hobbes says:

    Something tells me GS employees are not interested in the donut holes Mike is currently offering.

  5. HotKarl says:

    No matter how many slams you bring along to serve as visual eye candy, none are as big a whore as you.

  6. Guest says:

    With that resume he would be better trying to land a job with the OWS crowd.

  7. Bob Loblaw says:

    Intern at Law Offices of Barry Zuckerkorn > Intern at Law Offices of Bary Silver

  8. Guest says:

    I bet the chick in the pic has roots downtown.

  9. Guest says:

    Still. Beats the hell out of the homeless guy in front of my building.

  10. Im_a_Dude says:

    I have to say this is a first. I've met a lot of Indians but I've never heard of the University of Bhubaneswar. I bet the girls are smokin there

  11. TheodoreBallgamePhD says:

    "U.S. Chess Federation National Co-Champion"

    If there is anything that screams, "I get Goldman Sachs," its being a co-champion of something. He'll co-head a Goldman Spec sits desk in no time.

  12. Guest says:

    Reminds me of rush week in college: the kids would do a bunch of really self-deprecating stuff but the harder they tried, the less of a chance they had to get in. Was still funny to watch though.

  13. SABB says:

    1. What is with this dark grey / black font switching?

    2. What is this even trying to say, "Daily interactions with attorneys as a mentor system"?

    3. Why is there a minus at the end of this bullet point?

    "Trusted to educate and provide overall safety for over 30 children for 7+ hours a day-"

    Poor effor Michael

  14. Failed level 1 says:

    From his website

    OBJECTIVE: "Align myself with an ethical company while leveraging my interpersonal and analytical skills to ultimately help the firm improve its ability to source relevant business opportunities"

    And he is standing outside GS looking for a job?

  15. HotKarl says:

    No shame. No inhibitions. No fear of rejection. Balls the size of cantaloupes. Michael, these are the requisite skills for a successful cold-calling career at John Thomas Finanacial. Give us a call….ask for Tommy.

    – JT Financial HR

    P.S. Our new offices are located in what first appears to be an empty warehouse….knock on the door 5 times and wait for someone to ask you for the password. The password is 'blumpkin'.

  16. It's All Urine says:

    If he gets in the door, he can regale interviewers with tales from his life long battle with assitis.

    I'll take a douchenut……no, no…..the blueberry one.

  17. Hire The Chick says:

    first of all, you gotta be qualified….what happened to that?

  18. Gusto says:

    pump the chicks,
    dump the candidate

  19. OpportunityCost says:

    Was really hoping for a better picture of the girls when i clicked on the article…

  20. Jamarkus says:

    If his name was Michael Fordham and he had gone to Penn, I think he'd probably have a better chance.

  21. J. Bohrer says:

    Jon, this bran muffin-thingy will clear you out….just won't cure those euro trades

  22. J. Bohrer says:

    shoulda' actually gone to U Penn instead of jus' changin' his last name……rookie

  23. CEO of Herbalife says:

    I heard that "Ackman" guy is hiring.

  24. Guest says:

    Even if he gets the job I'm pretty sure the background check will indicate that he's actually vilma from scooby doo.