Opening Bell: 10.22.13

Former JPMorgan executive challenges UK’s London Whale report (Reuters)
A former JPMorgan Chase & Co executive in Europe is appealing findings by Britain’s financial watchdog that criticized his actions in connection with the “London Whale” scandal. Achilles Macris, who is appealing, ran the London division of JPMorgan’s Chief Investment Office, where Bruno Iksil, nicknamed “the London Whale” for the size of the his derivatives trades, stacked up huge losses, more than $6.2 billion at last count. JPMorgan agreed to pay $920 million in penalties last month to the U.S. Federal Reserve, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, the U.S. Comptroller of the Currency and the UK’s Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) over the trading scandal. The FCA notice of its fine, totaling 137.6 million pounds, did not mention Macris by name but said that “by virtue of the conduct of the CIO London management” JPMorgan had deliberately misled the regulator. A spokesman for Macris said he had not been given a proper opportunity by the FCA to respond to the criticisms before they were published.

22 Under Investigation In Libor Case In Britain (Dealbook)
British prosecutors have identified 22 individuals at various banks as potential co-conspirators in a wide-ranging inquiry into the manipulation of a global benchmark interest rate. The individuals were notified last week by Britain’s Serious Fraud Office that they were being investigated, prosecutors and lawyers for some of the potential co-conspirators said at a court hearing in London on Monday.

SAC Investors To Keep Big Profits (NYP)
As hedge-fund mogul Steve Cohen prepares to cough up about $1.4 billion to settle criminal insider trading charges against his SAC Capital Advisors, investors who benefited from the crimes will likely be able to hold on to those profits, experts told The Post. From 1999 through 2010 — when SAC was a “magnet for cheaters,” according to Manhattan US Attorney Preet Bharara — investors earned billions of dollars in profits as Cohen’s hedge funds produced 25 percent net annual returns. Investors started pulling assets from SAC in earnest this year as prosecutors put the final touches on their probe of the Cohen juggernaut. “The investors are passive and not involved in any of the things SAC is supposed to have done,” said Simon Lack, a former executive at JPMorgan responsible for investing in hedge funds. “It would be very difficult to penalize the investors.”

Blackstone Opens Singapore Office in Expansion Drive (Bloomberg)
Blackstone, the world’s biggest manager of alternative assets, will seek more investments in Southeast Asia following the opening of an office in Singapore seven years after entering the Asia-Pacific region. Blackstone, led by Chief Executive Officer Stephen Schwarzman, has more than $5 billion of Asian assets, of which more than half are in real estate. Singapore will be the firm’s second office with treasury functions after New York, according to the company, which manages about $248 billion worldwide.

Tommy Hilfiger lists his $80 million penthouse at Plaza (CNBC)
Hilfiger, the 62-year-old fashion tycoon, is listing his duplex at the Plaza Hotel for $80 million, making it one of the most exclusive condo listings in Manhattan. The apartment stretches over 6,000 square feet and includes the iconic dome atop the plaza, along with sweeping terraces overlooking Central Park and Fifth Avenue. If it sells at the asking price, the property would be second-most expensive condo ever to close in New York, according to Jonathan Miller of Miller & Samuel. The most expensive condo to close is believed to be a penthouse at 15 Central Park West sold by former Citigroup CEO Sandy Weill in 2012…Hilfiger said he is selling because he is spending more time in Greenwich, Conn., where he is completing a three-year renovation of a 22-acre estate…He added, however, that it’s a good time to sell in New York. “I think it may be the strongest market in the world right now,” he said. “Everyone in the world, whether they’re from Qatar or China, wants a luxury apartment in New York.”

‘I party with my mom!’ Mother-daughter duos hit NYC clubs (NYP)
When Amanda Paneduro scrolls through photos on her iPhone, she has trouble picking out her favorite mother-daughter pic. Was it the one they took while partying at nightclub LIV in South Beach during a wild girls’ weekend? Dancing onstage together with electro-rap duo LMFAO at club Glo on Long Island? Or maybe the time at the rooftop in the Meatpacking District when a creepy older guy hit on both mom and daughter? “Nobody really knows she’s my mother,” says 19-year-old Amanda with a laugh. Tonight, the two are holding court at the Gansevoort Hotel rooftop bar, clad in black leather jackets, skintight pants and sky-high heels. “We have so much fun together — she’s my best friend,” gushes Amanda, a college student from Jericho, Long Island, of her 49-year-old separated mom, Ilyssa. “We share everything,” she continues, including Ilyssa’s prized collection of Céline and Chanel bags and YSL and Louboutin shoes. But they draw the line at sharing men. “A lot of times the same guy will try to hit on both of us,” says Amanda. “We attract positive attention. If we’re lucky, we’ll be invited to someone’s table. She’s like going out with a friend, very understanding. She’s not super-overprotective.” The pair are known to party till 4 a.m., then hit nearby Artichoke Pizza to refuel. They’ve been socializing together since Amanda was 16, and they’re such regulars on the scene that she doesn’t even get carded anymore. Celebrity culture and reality TV are already awash with mothers and daughters bonding over bottle service…Middle-aged New York moms are following suit — with wild nights of clubbing now supplanting the tame brunches and mani-pedi dates that might have defined parental bonding of yore.

BofA Said to Face Three More U.S. Probes of Mortgage-Bond Sales (Bloomberg)
U.S. attorneys offices in Georgia and California are examining potential violations tied to Countrywide Financial Corp., the subprime lender Bank of America bought in 2008, said the people, who asked not to be identified because the inquiries aren’t public. U.S. attorneys in New Jersey are looking into deals involving Merrill Lynch & Co., purchased by the firm in 2009, the people said.

Soaring London House Prices Fuel Concerns (WSJ)
Home sellers in London raised asking prices 10% in the early weeks of October, as foreign buyers continued stoking the market, adding to concern a fresh property bubble may be forming. The capital’s steep price increases have also fueled concern among policy makers that many residents may be forced out of the market. “This phenomenon has helped…to fuel the anger of professional people who cannot afford to live in districts where their parents grew up and who cannot see how their kids will ever be able to afford to buy in London,” said the city’s mayor, Boris Johnson, in an editorial in the Daily Telegraph.

Apple Preparing 65-Inch TV for Release in 2014, Analyst Says (Bloomberg)
Apple will probably start selling ultra-high definition televisions with 65- and 55-inch screens during the fourth quarter of next year, according to a Tokyo-based analyst at Advanced Research Japan Co.

Drunk falls asleep behind the wheel at Burger King drive-through window — for 2 solid hours: cops (NYDN)
Booze might make burgers taste better but not if you fall asleep before you can put in your order.
That’s what happened to a drunken New Jersey man who sat in his running Hyundai in a Burger King drive-through for two hours in the dead of night earlier this month, police said. Kyler Ginter, 41, of Sparta, apparently never got it his way because the fast-food restaurant’s manager saw him asleep at the wheel near the order screen, reported the Morristown Patch. Officers found Ginter inside the black vehicle with the key in the ignition about 3 a.m. Oct. 5, police said. “I knew I couldn’t handle it and I just wanted to stay here,” Ginter told police, according to a police report.

38 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (38)

  1. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2013 at 7:51 AM

    tedr

  2. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2013 at 8:01 AM

    Nice shoes mom.

  3. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2013 at 8:02 AM

    Hell yea!

  4. Posted by AAA | October 22, 2013 at 8:53 AM

    No, No.

  5. Posted by Lolo Lohan | October 22, 2013 at 8:56 AM

    "……….it was kinda disturbing. We were on the dance floor for about 2 hours straight after cocktailing since 11, when all of a sudden, her uterus just fell out! But she put it in her Birkin bag and we didn't let it slow us down that night….."

  6. Posted by HotKarl | October 22, 2013 at 9:04 AM

    I predict a mother-daughter scene shoot for Brazzers by year-end: 'Milf Money'

  7. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2013 at 9:13 AM

    Nicole, Vanesa Levine. Any relationship?

    P.S. Not cool Shazar, not cool.

  8. Posted by guest | October 22, 2013 at 9:13 AM

    Separated. What a surprise.

  9. Posted by M. Sanchez | October 22, 2013 at 9:18 AM

    The daughter is a little too old for me.

  10. Posted by "Lissy" Paneduro | October 22, 2013 at 9:21 AM

    But they draw the line at sharing men.

    Cause I wil cut that bitch if she tries frontin' on me with that 30-something, Derek

  11. Posted by SMU Secure | October 22, 2013 at 9:44 AM

    NYC, the Little Rock of the north.

  12. Posted by ThatsVVacc | October 22, 2013 at 9:44 AM

    I was about to disagree with you until I clicked on the thumbnail. Hell, even if they willing to share it would still be a firm no.

  13. Posted by Australopithecus | October 22, 2013 at 9:45 AM

    I wouldnt fuck either with Shazar's dick

  14. Posted by Creepier Laxbro | October 22, 2013 at 9:47 AM

    Best picture from the NYP article is the one where mom and daughter are sharing some fratty light's, odds Laxbro took the pic? Also note that the mother/daughter/mother's friend trio in that pic never said anything about not sharing men.

  15. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2013 at 9:48 AM

    they’re such regulars on the scene that she doesn’t even get carded anymore.

    Yea – until the post runs a story about a 19yo partying at the Gansevoort until 4am. Good luck getting past the velvet ropes this saturday cupcake.

  16. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2013 at 9:52 AM

    I have to admit that I am not entirely up to speed on NYC culture here. Does "separated" mean "going through a difficult stage with her husband but trying to work it out", or does it mean "husband has a new lady friend but is still willing to pay the bills for her lifestyle, and neither can be bothered to do the divorce paperwork"?

  17. Posted by Bard of Williamsburg | October 22, 2013 at 9:55 AM

    I shit myself once at a party at the Gansevoort. Took my boxers off, threw them in the bathroom trash and kept right on going.

  18. Posted by UBS Singapore MD | October 22, 2013 at 9:59 AM

    Yes, I am sure that being the subject of a NYP story will be a total and complete bar to this young lady being admitted to nightclubs sans proper photo identification. Whenever I used to hit Hula Hanks and the Thirsty Turtle I could always reliably assume that all the young women there were at least 21.

    -Not a former UBS MD living abroad because of a statutory rape charge

  19. Posted by Your MD | October 22, 2013 at 10:01 AM

    Well next time think before you speak.

  20. Posted by MFIN Grad | October 22, 2013 at 10:02 AM

    Meanwhile at the club….

    Meathead: Let's creep on this pair, I already got a gambit worked out
    Wingman: You know I got you bro, but I see some grenades

    <Meathead approaches couple>

    Meathead: Whoa! Are you two sisters?

    Mom: OMG! LOL
    Daughter: Omg this is my mom, we are LIKE best friends!

    Meathead: That's so cool! Damn, now I can see the relation!
    Wingman: Cool, I'll go get us some shots

  21. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2013 at 10:04 AM

    Plus, shouldn't the age of consent for slores be lower than that of the general population?

  22. Posted by Tseug | October 22, 2013 at 10:12 AM

    So much potential, but . . . no.

  23. Posted by Jerry Jones | October 22, 2013 at 10:13 AM

    yea, nothing but rock-solid marriages and secure, naturally blond mother-daughters in Dallas

  24. Posted by Shazar | October 22, 2013 at 10:13 AM

    I have crunched the numbers and I feel confident saying that I would fuck Shazar with Shazar's dick.

  25. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2013 at 10:19 AM

    Gasparino and Mayo – The Pectoral Chronicles?

  26. Posted by Jon Corzine | October 22, 2013 at 10:21 AM

    Is there more to the story? I dont get the joke. You must have did your MFIN at UC Davis.

  27. Posted by Shaz's beard | October 22, 2013 at 10:38 AM

    Shaz and his mom are also eskimo brothers.

  28. Posted by Giants GM | October 22, 2013 at 10:52 AM

    r u still in football ?

  29. Posted by Serge | October 22, 2013 at 10:54 AM

    Bad coke ?

  30. Posted by Boston Rob | October 22, 2013 at 11:05 AM

    Worst comment this month. Go back to the SEC, knuckle dragger.

  31. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2013 at 11:22 AM

    Can someone please click on the 'paulina like you've never seen her' link and describe picture #4? Honestly, its been three weeks of forgetting to do this at home and I've reached a bit of a breaking point.

  32. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2013 at 11:25 AM

    Too late: 'Moms Teaching Teens'

  33. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2013 at 11:27 AM

    It means the same as "let's go back to your place cause my roommate is a light sleeper".

  34. Posted by Shazars Dick | October 22, 2013 at 11:29 AM

    Counter point:

    As the glands penis of John Shazar, I find myself constantly at the mercy of a man who is willing to go to the darkest corners of Craigslist Casual Encounters for a sexual romp. I have been forced through many gloryholes against my will. I’ve have refused to become erect out of the fear of being inserted into another transsexuals asshole. Often I wake up the next morning oozing and itching with aliments that have no cure in sight. Some days I just wish I could shrivel up and die.

  35. Posted by guest | October 22, 2013 at 1:01 PM

    Have you ever played Tomb Raider?

  36. Posted by Confused... | October 22, 2013 at 1:30 PM

    Can the guy hitting on both really be a "creepy older guy" when the mom is 49? I mean, unless the guy is pushing retirement age, beggars can't be choosers. You're basically asking for it.

  37. Posted by Matt | October 22, 2013 at 3:50 PM

    Woof.

    Well, at least she has money.

  38. Posted by Guest | October 23, 2013 at 8:28 AM

    Guessing that means neither of them have any friends.