An investigative report by NetNet’s John Carney leaves no stone unturned.:

Goldman didn’t like the idea of its people waiting on long lines to get their lunch. People are capital to Goldman. It wants to use its capital efficiently. Standing on line waiting for dumplings or salad or a burger is not an efficient use of Goldman’s capital. The cafeteria has a set of timed discounts. If you show up in the cafeteria before 11:30 or after 1:30, you get a 25 percent discount on your food. Goldman incentivizes employees to avoid the rush hour. As it turns out, Goldman folks are both especially attuned to economic incentives and ruthless about capital efficiency. There are some Goldman employees who take pride that they’ve never eaten lunch inside the “cost penalty window,” as one trader referred to the two hours when the discount isn’t in effect. Others take it more casually. If you find yourself in the cafeteria sometime around 1:20 pm, you’ll notice that the lines at the pay registers are empty. So are many of the tables. But the cafeteria area between where the food is collected and where you pay is quite crowded. The Goldman lunchers are chatting with each other, waiting for the final minutes to tick down until they can save a dollar or two…

Lloyd Blankfein reportedly loves the Goldman cafeteria. I bet he eats before 11:30 or after 1:30.

The creepy capital efficiency of Goldman’s cafeteria [NetNet]

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Comments (13)

  1. Posted by Former Employee | October 18, 2013 at 3:14 PM

    The discount is in place before 12 and after 1:30 and is 20%. People will cut each other at 11:58 to make sure they get the discount.

  2. Posted by guest | October 18, 2013 at 3:19 PM

    lol @ carney not being able to get that right.

  3. Posted by Guest | October 18, 2013 at 3:24 PM

    Wouldn't Lloyd's lunchtime be whenever God delivers manna from heaven each day?

  4. Posted by His Munificence | October 18, 2013 at 3:29 PM

    So the people lingering 5 minutes to save $2 think the opportunity cost of their time is $24/hour after tax? Is this the Jersey City office?

  5. Posted by Guest | October 18, 2013 at 3:39 PM

    We increased the discount to 25% after you left.

    - Lloyd B.

  6. Posted by A Jerk | October 18, 2013 at 3:43 PM

    You getting your ping-pong skills back yet?

  7. Posted by Alt_EST | October 18, 2013 at 3:54 PM

    Was it disclosed to employees that Paulson picked the cutoff times and was short lunch revenue before and after?

  8. Posted by Guest | October 18, 2013 at 4:02 PM

    Before 12 and after 130– is that when they serve the inventory they couldn't shift out their fridges over the past week?

  9. Posted by Guest | October 18, 2013 at 4:21 PM

    Follow @1stworldanalyst

  10. Posted by guest i guess... | October 18, 2013 at 4:28 PM

    just as long as i eat before sundown on fridays.

  11. Posted by guesttt | October 19, 2013 at 5:32 PM

    My Chase debit card got declined the last time I tried to grub inside the cost penalty window. Loitered for a little and it finally worked when they ran it at 1:31p

  12. Posted by Breakfast Menu | October 21, 2013 at 1:57 PM

    Monday – Pieces of shit like you
    Tuesday – Pieces of shit like you
    Wednesday – Pieces of shit like you
    Thursday – Omelet bar
    Friday – Pieces of shit like you

  13. Posted by klhoughton | October 21, 2013 at 1:57 PM

    Precisely. Carney, of course, sees nothing wrong with this, though it does undermine his entire bullshit premise of "time is money."

    If I were Lloyd B., I would be instructing HR to cross-reference the video of each employee who stands idly by from 1:20 onward and make a layoff list of anyone seen there more than twice–all right, first round, three times–in any given week or six times a month.