An investigative report by NetNet’s John Carney leaves no stone unturned.:

Goldman didn’t like the idea of its people waiting on long lines to get their lunch. People are capital to Goldman. It wants to use its capital efficiently. Standing on line waiting for dumplings or salad or a burger is not an efficient use of Goldman’s capital. The cafeteria has a set of timed discounts. If you show up in the cafeteria before 11:30 or after 1:30, you get a 25 percent discount on your food. Goldman incentivizes employees to avoid the rush hour. As it turns out, Goldman folks are both especially attuned to economic incentives and ruthless about capital efficiency. There are some Goldman employees who take pride that they’ve never eaten lunch inside the “cost penalty window,” as one trader referred to the two hours when the discount isn’t in effect. Others take it more casually. If you find yourself in the cafeteria sometime around 1:20 pm, you’ll notice that the lines at the pay registers are empty. So are many of the tables. But the cafeteria area between where the food is collected and where you pay is quite crowded. The Goldman lunchers are chatting with each other, waiting for the final minutes to tick down until they can save a dollar or two…

Lloyd Blankfein reportedly loves the Goldman cafeteria. I bet he eats before 11:30 or after 1:30.

The creepy capital efficiency of Goldman’s cafeteria [NetNet]

14 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (14)

  1. Posted by Former Employee | October 18, 2013 at 3:14 PM

    The discount is in place before 12 and after 1:30 and is 20%. People will cut each other at 11:58 to make sure they get the discount.

  2. Posted by guest | October 18, 2013 at 3:19 PM

    lol @ carney not being able to get that right.

  3. Posted by Guest | October 18, 2013 at 3:24 PM

    Wouldn't Lloyd's lunchtime be whenever God delivers manna from heaven each day?

  4. Posted by His Munificence | October 18, 2013 at 3:29 PM

    So the people lingering 5 minutes to save $2 think the opportunity cost of their time is $24/hour after tax? Is this the Jersey City office?

  5. Posted by Guest | October 18, 2013 at 3:39 PM

    We increased the discount to 25% after you left.

    – Lloyd B.

  6. Posted by A Jerk | October 18, 2013 at 3:43 PM

    You getting your ping-pong skills back yet?

  7. Posted by Alt_EST | October 18, 2013 at 3:54 PM

    Was it disclosed to employees that Paulson picked the cutoff times and was short lunch revenue before and after?

  8. Posted by Guest | October 18, 2013 at 4:02 PM

    Before 12 and after 130– is that when they serve the inventory they couldn't shift out their fridges over the past week?

  9. Posted by Guest | October 18, 2013 at 4:21 PM

    Follow @1stworldanalyst

  10. Posted by guest i guess... | October 18, 2013 at 4:28 PM

    just as long as i eat before sundown on fridays.

  11. Posted by guesttt | October 19, 2013 at 5:32 PM

    My Chase debit card got declined the last time I tried to grub inside the cost penalty window. Loitered for a little and it finally worked when they ran it at 1:31p

  12. Posted by Breakfast Menu | October 21, 2013 at 1:57 PM

    Monday – Pieces of shit like you
    Tuesday – Pieces of shit like you
    Wednesday – Pieces of shit like you
    Thursday – Omelet bar
    Friday – Pieces of shit like you

  13. Posted by klhoughton | October 21, 2013 at 1:57 PM

    Precisely. Carney, of course, sees nothing wrong with this, though it does undermine his entire bullshit premise of "time is money."

    If I were Lloyd B., I would be instructing HR to cross-reference the video of each employee who stands idly by from 1:20 onward and make a layoff list of anyone seen there more than twice–all right, first round, three times–in any given week or six times a month.

  14. Posted by jack loach | April 22, 2014 at 5:40 PM

    Sods —– Law.
    April..—- 2014.

    For almost two decades we have strived to get justice for the injustice we have suffered at the hands of a world renowned bank— PICTET & CIE. BANK.

    Two yorkshiremen both running their own small family businesses trying to resolve the problem by taking all the correct legal procedures to recover their monies.

    The matter was raised in Parliament – twice– the FSA investigated the matter concluding that PICTET had rogues operating in their London Bank — but the rogues had left —saying no one left to prosecute.??? —– so there.

    We then approached the Financial Ombudsman Service. (FOS) — our case was dealt with by seven different people —- then our numerous E-Mails were ignored — nobody would speak to us ——-so there.

    We then asked the SFO ( Serious Fraud Office.) to investigate our case —- the criteria of our case ticked all their boxes. — we were instructed not to send them
    any documents/evidence.—— in fact they wrote to us advising us to go to the Citizen's Advice Bureau.(CAB.)
    Richard Alderman the SFO boss —- who responded to our letter was the same man who would not investigate the “ Madoff” scandal or the “Libor” fiasco.
    The MP's committee —- said he was sloppy— and the SFO was run like “ Fred Karno's Circus” —– it was an office of fraud.—– so there.

    Our M.P. approached our local Chief Constable to investigate—– he was called—- Sir Norman Bettison— Chief Constable of West Yorkshire Police —- a force that made “ Dad's Army” look like the S.A.S. They were inept – corrupt —malicious — from top to bottom. We were criminally dealt with by the Forces Solicitor—- the Head of the Economic Crime Unit —-and the Chief Constable —– so there.

    We were then advised to pass our complaint against West Yorkshire Police to the I.P.C.C. – which we did — they advised us to make our complaint to —- the West Yorkshire Police — we did with reluctance — all we got was abuse and obfuscation. —– so there.

    Sir Norman Bettison —- The Forces solicitor— and the Head of the Economic Crime —- have all been removed from their posts and facing criminal allegations.
    —— so there.

    We even sought justice through the Courts — culminating in a visit to the Court of Appeal-London.— On leaving the Courts of Appeal that day our barrister a “rising star” informed us — that if that was Justice then you can keep it. He quit the law and moved to Canada —– so there.

    A few years later we learned that one of the judges in our case at the Court of Appeal was related to a senior executive of the Pictet Bank —–so there.

    The Ministry of Justice passed our case to Lord Myners to investigate — we would rather have had Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck do it. — to this day we don't know
    —whether he did anything or not —- probably not — seeing that his wife was on the Pictet Prix Board.

    Pictet & Cie .Bank — voted private bank of the year 2013.
    Ivan Pictet —- Voted banker of the year 2012. —- the senior partner — lied on numerous occasions and had documents destroyed — also said genuine documents were forgeries. —– so there.

    Ivan Pictet in Oct. 2013 —- Given the Legion of Honour — but saying that —- honours were given to Hitler — Eichmann — Mussolini —Franco — he's in fitting company. —-so there.

    MONTY RAPHAEL.Q.C. — Peters & Peters.London. They were the banks lawyers.
    Monty Raphael.Q.C. along with Ivan Pictet withheld crucial documents requested by the High Court —- the FSA —- and the police Fraud Squad. —-so there.

    Monty Raphael.Q.C. became an Honorary Queens Counsellor in March. 2012.
    Monty Raphael.Q.C. became a Master of the Bench in Nov.2012.
    An expert in Fraud —the Doyen of Fraud Lawyers. —– so there.

    This says a lot about Banks — the consensus of opinion is that they are highly paid “crooks” —- no wonder they voted Ivan Pictet banker of the year.

    It appears that crimes in the “establishment.” are honoured by their peers.
    “HONOURS AMONG THIEVES.”

    Full Story.—- “google or Yahoo ”

    Insert.

    Ivan Pictet.Banker.
    Monty Raphael.Q.C.
    Ivan Pictet/Monty Raphael.