“Drugs and personal excess will always be found on Wall Street (and in any profession that pays big bucks), but it’s been my experience that fraudsters are more often family men like Bernie Madoff — guys who methodically steal tens of billions without screwing a single hooker or snorting a single line of coke.” [NYP]

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  1. Posted by guest | December 19, 2013 at 1:07 PM

    the above is from chapter 1 of "Charlie Gasparino's Little Book of Big Advice."

  2. Posted by guest | December 19, 2013 at 1:07 PM

    "in my experience."

  3. Posted by guest | December 19, 2013 at 1:08 PM

    I love how he says just "a single hooker" like it's a given most people have had sex with at least one prostitute. Hundreds? No. One? Sure.

  4. Posted by Guest | December 19, 2013 at 1:15 PM

    "Bernie Madoff 'had so much cocaine in his office it was dubbed the North Pole'"

    Santa never did a single line?

  5. Posted by Guest | December 19, 2013 at 1:15 PM

    In my experience, none of us 'bankers' can afford prostitutes or coke.

    - UBS Entertainment Quant

  6. Posted by Larry Levin Levine | December 19, 2013 at 1:16 PM

    Send the effete, goose-stepping left a message they won't forget. We're through letting them intimidate us.

  7. Posted by Dickflicker | December 19, 2013 at 1:17 PM

    I hate to bust ya'lls bubble. But Phil Robertson is a Quack. His show is a Hollywood money making scam not a documentary. He is 100% fiction. Nothing they tell you is real about this guy. He is aka actor Will Sasso from Madtv. You are under mind control by this fraud

  8. Posted by El Guesto | December 19, 2013 at 1:35 PM

    I have never used hookers, but I do keep some girls on retainer that I pay on a per-event basis when I am too busy or cannot be bothered to go out.

  9. Posted by Guest | December 19, 2013 at 1:38 PM

    Sheryl Weinstein, Chazza? Remember she told the world Madoff was hung like a silverback gorilla? Do some fact checking.

  10. Posted by E Spitzer | December 19, 2013 at 1:38 PM

    Precisely. Also, never trust anyone that pays cash.

  11. Posted by ThatsVVacc | December 19, 2013 at 1:40 PM

    Can we expect a foreword by Mike Tyson about the author's experience with regards to beating the hell out of people?

    - Guy who would undoubtedly purchase the book

  12. Posted by Inchon USMC | December 19, 2013 at 1:44 PM

    I cant trust a man who doesn't drink, because he does not trust himself.

  13. Posted by Guest | December 19, 2013 at 1:47 PM

    Does that apply to "journalists" as well?

  14. Posted by ex-Wall Streeter | December 19, 2013 at 1:51 PM

    Charlie, you got it wrong about casting Madoff as a family man. In fact, he was a regular coke user as some of the other comments already alluded to, but he also had a mistress. Not saying she was a hooker, probably wasn't, but the point is he was not the family guy you charitably made him out to be. The bastard deserves to be in jail till he drops dead for all his crimes.

  15. Posted by Guest | December 19, 2013 at 1:55 PM

    Mistress / wife = in-house hooker. Except that the wife doesn't put out.

  16. Posted by Alt_EST | December 19, 2013 at 2:18 PM

    In our most desperate time of need, where are you Geezer Oil Trader?

  17. Posted by I saw it coming | December 19, 2013 at 2:39 PM

    "family men like Bernie Madoff – guys who methodically steal tens of billions without screwing a single hooker "

    Wrong on so many level. Actually most of hookers are screwed by family guys.

  18. Posted by The Diaz Brothers | December 19, 2013 at 3:15 PM

    He's somewhere grooving to Bricks by Gucci Mane.

  19. Posted by Guest | December 19, 2013 at 3:26 PM

    Chaz, you trying to get a sit-down with Bernie? Better talk about the legitimate years as well.

  20. Posted by Danker_Banker | December 19, 2013 at 3:37 PM

    My favorite:

    "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth."

    -MT

  21. Posted by Astounded Guest | December 19, 2013 at 3:45 PM

    Chaz has legitimate years?

  22. Posted by Guest | December 19, 2013 at 3:50 PM

    My favorite:

    "I normally don't do interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore, unless you want to, you know."

    - Iron Mike (via guy would would love to see Tyson on Fox news these days)

  23. Posted by Guest | December 19, 2013 at 4:25 PM

    What's a mistress divided by a wife?

  24. Posted by Guest | December 19, 2013 at 4:28 PM

    So you're saying that the street either steals money, or has hookers and does coke? Or, you're saying everyone on the street has a vice?

    - Banker that spends too much money on suits for hookers or coke

  25. Posted by Conan the Destroyer | December 19, 2013 at 4:31 PM

    "Be Somebody"

  26. Posted by Brick, CFA | December 19, 2013 at 4:42 PM

    You're either gay or Ron Burgundy, not that there's anything wrong with either.

  27. Posted by Bored Guest | December 19, 2013 at 5:03 PM

    Ha ha ha. You just tear me to pieces.

  28. Posted by Rebecca Martinson | December 19, 2013 at 5:22 PM

    Do you do group interviews?

  29. Posted by Guest | December 19, 2013 at 6:25 PM

    I do like Scotch

  30. Posted by Guest | December 19, 2013 at 6:27 PM

    Ahh he meant "Mistress"&"/"&"Wife", sorry my mistake

  31. Posted by Guest | December 19, 2013 at 7:45 PM

    Thanks Chaz, I value your advice.

    - Nobody