Cliff Asness Has A Lot Of Problems With You People

The AQR chief has made clear that there are many things he doesn’t like: Democrats. The real Warren Buffet when a robotic alternative is available. College professors talking to him when he’s enjoying a bottle of wine. But these, friends, are just the beginning.

Saying I have a pet peeve, or some pet peeves, just doesn’t do it. I have a menagerie of peeves, a veritable zoo of them.

And now, you’re gonna hear about them. Or some of them, for, unluckily for readers, rather than writing a book-length airing of grievances like some other prominent hedge fund manager might, to say nothing of attempting to equal his ideological lodestone in verbosity, he plans to strictly limit himself to 10 for the purposes of this Financial Analysts Journal article, which runs a mere eight pages (nine including footnotes).

Luckily for readers, I will restrict this editorial to only those related to investing (you do not want to see the more inclusive list) and to only a mere 10 at that.

And that 10 will be a subset of the extremely stupid things Cliff Asness is forced to hear on a daily basis. And even then, he will restrain himself in mowing down the piffle that puts him in a bad mood.

Because of the machine-gun nature of this piece, these are mostly teasers. I don’t go into all the arguments for my points, and I blatantly ignore counterpoints (to which I assert without evidence that I have counter-counterpoints). But some deserve a more thorough treatment that hopefully I, or someone else, will undertake.


My Top 10 Peeves [FAJ]

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Comments (18)

  1. Posted by Mike Corbat | December 3, 2013 at 4:23 PM


  2. Posted by guest | December 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM

    are you having a stroke?

  3. Posted by guest | December 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM

    I'm nervous.

  4. Posted by guest | December 3, 2013 at 4:25 PM

    lol wut?

  5. Posted by Dan Shazar | December 3, 2013 at 4:25 PM

    They will stick in in a light socket if you spread some poop on it

  6. Posted by Black Friday Deals | December 3, 2013 at 4:26 PM

    Just a reduction in Interior Decorators and E! programming.

  7. Posted by Eye Gouger | December 3, 2013 at 4:28 PM

    Made the mistake of clicking through to the article. Just painful.

  8. Posted by Making a List | December 3, 2013 at 4:34 PM

    This week, we'd like to welcome our new guest writer for Business Insider. Part 1 of 2: "What I hate hearing" of our endless list series.

    Up next week, Part 2: "What I hate about you."

    I can do better Cliff, my list of peeves:

    1. Lists

  9. Posted by guest | December 3, 2013 at 4:35 PM

    seconded X 1,000

  10. Posted by Bored Guest | December 3, 2013 at 4:56 PM

    …and this is why his kids are f*cked up…

    - guy who asserts things without evidence

  11. Posted by OG Guest | December 3, 2013 at 5:24 PM

    Biff story without Beth, the vicious animal liar?


  12. Posted by No One | December 3, 2013 at 6:09 PM

    No one has ever enjoyed talking to Cliff Asness.

  13. Posted by Frank Costanza | December 3, 2013 at 6:19 PM

    Welcome, new comers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it!

  14. Posted by guest, CFA | December 3, 2013 at 6:48 PM

    This article qualifies for 0.5 CE credit.

    CFA > MBA


  15. Posted by MFIN Grad | December 4, 2013 at 12:58 PM

    shaz – I don't know if it's because I'm tired or your writing/article structure is piss poor, but i'm going with the latter.

  16. Posted by Bored Guest | December 4, 2013 at 1:36 PM

    MFIN Grad – I don't know if I can't understand your sentence because I'm tired or your writing structure is piss poor, but I'm going with the latter.

  17. Posted by MFIN Grad | December 5, 2013 at 9:07 AM

    ^Shaz's life partner

  18. Posted by Antoine | December 31, 2013 at 4:41 PM

    this CFA journal article is a total waste of time – silly subject, poorly developed/argumented – really just only a stupid list of a financier with an ego the size of the moon