Not even if it it came with a personal manservant named Sandy Weill. Not even if Tom Brady called him to say it was okay to buy it.

Mr. Dimon said Wednesday that J.P. Morgan paid a “premium to settle” but “we have to get some of these things behind us.” Some shareholders urged him to fight but Mr. Dimon said that would mean years in court and more media attention. “I don’t want to threaten the health of my company ever.” Mr. Dimon also acknowledged that the bank’s relationship with regulators “obviously got worse” and “we lost track of that somehow over the last several years.” The “biggest mistake we made” was pushing responsibility for that relationship “too far down in the organization.”

Mr. Dimon again expressed regrets about the crisis-era purchases of Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual, both of which were encouraged by regulators. The deals brought benefits to J.P. Morgan, he said, but “Bear Stearns would not happen today” even if J.P. Morgan could purchase it for zero. “You wouldn’t take this kind of unlimited risk.”

J.P. Morgan’s Dimon Says Bank to Spend Double on Controls Next Year [WSJ]

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Comments (12)

  1. Posted by Put_Option | December 11, 2013 at 3:16 PM

    Love to be tongue in cheek, but wasn't Bear's prime brokerage one of the best on the street? Wasn't that a product JPM wanted more exposure? I'm sure novating the CDS book over was painful, but regret for buying Bear at $2? In the words of Gob Bluth, COME ON!

  2. Posted by I saw it coming | December 11, 2013 at 3:17 PM

    "pushing responsibility for that relationship “too far down in the organization.” "

    That's how it works, baby, bonuses pushed up, responsibility down

  3. Posted by guest | December 11, 2013 at 3:28 PM

    Not even if Jimmy Cayne threw in a bag of oregano?

  4. Posted by Guy who digs Becky | December 11, 2013 at 3:34 PM

    Ah Jimmy. Oh for more of the good old days:

    "This guy thinks he's got a big dick. He's got nothing, except maybe a boyfriend. He’s got nothing, except maybe a boyfriend…It’s just that for some clerk to make a decision based on what, your own personal feeling about whether or not they’re a good credit? Who the fuck asked you? You’re not an elected officer. You’re a clerk. Believe me, you’re a clerk. I want to open up on this fucker, that’s all I can tell you.”

  5. Posted by Guest | December 11, 2013 at 4:05 PM

    Such eloquent. Much refined. Wow.

  6. Posted by Bessid | December 11, 2013 at 4:25 PM

    Besides a stupid expenditure of money, where is the diversity? Any white people in the mural?

  7. Posted by Horizons Excs | December 11, 2013 at 4:34 PM

    Especially White Irish Conservative Catholics.

  8. Posted by J. Dimon | December 11, 2013 at 6:06 PM

    Paid 10$

  9. Posted by Gaspipe Charlie | December 11, 2013 at 6:08 PM

    After stepping away from the mic and appearing to leave momentarily, he abruptly stepped back to the podium and appeared to say, " Plus waaaay too many Jews. "

  10. Posted by Guest | December 11, 2013 at 6:39 PM

    JD never carries change. So actually paid $100.

  11. Posted by Rebecca M. | December 12, 2013 at 7:31 AM

    But he did it with bags of pennies that contained washers just to make the fuckers count it.

  12. Posted by mens fitness | December 14, 2013 at 11:40 AM

    I admit I have not been on this blog in a long time it was joy to find it again. It is this important topic and ignored by so many even professionals ! I thank you for leaving people more aware of these issues. Just great stuff per usual !