Back in December men and women across the globe sat down to take the first exam in a series of exams that they hoped would, one day in the distant future, allow them to place three little letters next to their name, on their business card, email signature, linkedin profile, and maybe even cock: CFA. In practice it would stand for Chartered Financial Analyst, but in theory, oh, in theory, it would mean so much more.

In the weeks since, they’ve tried to put their test out of their minds. Focus. Be in the present. Not agonize over their answer to the question:

Sammy Sneadle, CFA, is the founder and portfolio manager of the Everglades Fund. In its first year the fund generated a return of 30 percent. Building on the fund’s performance, Sneadle created new marketing materials that showed the fund’s gross 1-year return as well as the 3 and 5-year returns which he calculated by using back-tested performance information. As the marketing material is used only for presentations to institutional clients, Sneadle does not mention the inclusion of back-tested data. According to the Standards of Practice Handbook, how did Sneadle violate CFA Institute Standards of Professional Conduct?

Trying not to think about how they’d done was a fool’s mission, of course, as was attempting not to let their mind wander during particularly boring conference calls, about how they’d react upon receiving a passing score. They’d want to be humble, sure, but a confident humble. After all some of their friends probably would not be so lucky and they’d want to come off as sensitive, even though internally they’d be screaming “Hosanna!” from the mountaintops.

Waking up this morning, however, a sobering thought passed over them: what if they failed? What if the hours, days, weeks, and months spent planning were all for naught? What if the money spent was money down the toilet? What if the significant blows to their personal lives were made in vain? What if they had to return to CFA test prep school with their tails between their legs? What if the week they’d blocked off in their Outlook calendar for CFA Camp 2018 was premature?

Thankfully, only a little over half of all December test-takers must answer those questions: 43% earned passing scores.

If you weren’t so lucky, and you need a place to talk about how you’re feeling, let it out. Everyone is listening.

CFA Exam Results [CFA Institute]

30 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
Show all comments ↓

Comments (30)

  1. Posted by guest | January 28, 2014 at 2:35 PM

    learn from this JS.

  2. Posted by Guest | January 28, 2014 at 2:37 PM

    Passed….
    [youtube x9Ag_aTTuK8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9Ag_aTTuK8 youtube]

  3. Posted by Your Grandfather | January 28, 2014 at 2:38 PM

    When I was your age, we had to write out our answers. Take your scan-trons, your punchcards, and your ibm business processing machines and shove them up your ass.

  4. Posted by Hobbes | January 28, 2014 at 2:40 PM

    Those were the days…

    - CFA Level III Candidate

  5. Posted by Guest | January 28, 2014 at 2:49 PM

    43% past rate? They're practically handing them out these days…

  6. Posted by Stevie | January 28, 2014 at 2:54 PM

    Can't tell you how Sneadle violated the CFA rules. The rules are vague. It's a judgment call.

  7. Posted by segoviacobain | January 28, 2014 at 2:58 PM

    I would write CFA next to my cock, but that's going to go directly over the head of the women I tend to date.

  8. Posted by Red Velvet | January 28, 2014 at 3:10 PM

    Past…..

  9. Posted by Minnie | January 28, 2014 at 3:21 PM

    I'm a 54 year old, cold beer drinking kinda guy, that doesn't mind a fart joke here and there.

  10. Posted by Michigan Trash | January 28, 2014 at 3:37 PM

    CFA Level 1? Well the job posting says you need to lift at least 50 lbs fucker.

  11. Posted by Doodie | January 28, 2014 at 3:39 PM

    I don't want to scare you my dear, fellow members of the commentariat, but I would ask you to reflect on the following question. What would we do without the CFA exams, Gasparino, Falcone or the occasional drug (bath salts inc) addicted former I-Banker? I shudder.

  12. Posted by Bejujular | January 28, 2014 at 3:50 PM

    If memory serves me correctly that is a very high pass rate for level 1. I always thought it was pretty close to 35/45/55 for each level respectively.

  13. Posted by guest | January 28, 2014 at 3:55 PM

    last year was 32%. pussies.

  14. Posted by guest | January 28, 2014 at 4:19 PM

    I passed.

  15. Posted by Bored Guest | January 28, 2014 at 4:26 PM

    What about our ATM machines? What should we do about those?

    - UBS Acronym Quant

  16. Posted by Bored Guest | January 28, 2014 at 4:27 PM

    For the women I tend to date, it would go in one ear and out the other.

  17. Posted by Quant me maybe... | January 28, 2014 at 4:30 PM

    The trick is to get the tattoo on your cock, not next to it. Should say CFA when limp and Certified Financial Analyst at a minimum 18 point font when erect. One of the test questions (and the only one that gets pass/fail) determines if you have dick big enough to handle the logo.

  18. Posted by guest | January 28, 2014 at 4:37 PM

    go on.

    -lynn t.

  19. Posted by guesst | January 28, 2014 at 4:41 PM

    GRAMMAR QUANT! I need your help here.

  20. Posted by guest | January 28, 2014 at 4:57 PM

    slef-absorbed, shit-talking level 2 CFA candidate> cfa> mba

  21. Posted by Pass on 2nd try | January 28, 2014 at 5:00 PM

    I passed and I am re-evaluating my life… do I want to lose my life from now on until June???

    F this SH%%

  22. Posted by guest | January 28, 2014 at 5:01 PM

    what's a slef-absored, shit-talking level 2 CFA candidate?

  23. Posted by guest | January 28, 2014 at 5:35 PM

    you prolly won't get there #justsayin

  24. Posted by Peter Britto | January 28, 2014 at 5:38 PM

    It would probably take 3 hours to absorb the knowledge in the program that they have people tryng to pass the exam take 3-5 years.

  25. Posted by Peter Britto | January 28, 2014 at 5:39 PM

    It would probably take 3 hours to absorb the knowledge in the program that they have people trying to pass the exam take 3-5 years.

  26. Posted by Chartered, mfer | January 28, 2014 at 5:48 PM

    Certified nothing

  27. Posted by wanker | January 28, 2014 at 5:58 PM

    twat..

  28. Posted by Quant me maybe... | January 28, 2014 at 6:49 PM

    Drunk intern.

  29. Posted by guest | January 28, 2014 at 7:41 PM

    Disturbingly the amount of HP12C’s confiscated from the anal cavity of test takers is up %400 YOY.

    -Conference room 21B@477 Madison Avenue

  30. Posted by Guest | January 29, 2014 at 12:47 PM

    http://www.gerkencapital.com/office-locations-0 http://www.linkedin.com/pub/peter-britto-cpa-cga/https://www.idfpr.com/licenselookup/printthispage

    Let me know the progress of that 200%+ annualized return based on your backtested strategy. We're looking for people with realistic views on investing at our firm.

    – UBS Due Diligence Quant