Opening Bell: 01.31.14

Wall Street Pays $70 Million Tab for Super Bowl in Its Backyard (Bloomberg)
The National Football League’s championship is a home game for the shapers of the nation’s economy, with 11 of 29 host sponsors coming from the financial services industry. The event is costing $70 million to stage, as much as five times last year’s in New Orleans, and companies with revenue of $339 billion last year are paying a big part of the bill.

BofA’s $8.5 Billion Mortgage Bond Pact Approved by Judge (Bloomberg)
For Bank of America, the settlement is part of Chief Executive Officer Brian Moynihan’s efforts to resolve liabilities tied to faulty mortgages that have cost the company at least $50 billion in legal claims since the financial crisis, most inherited from its 2008 purchase of Countrywide Financial Corp.

Microsoft Nears End To Its CEO Search (WSJ)
Veteran Microsoft Corp. executive Satya Nadella has emerged as the leading candidate to be the software company’s next chief executive, as Microsoft directors wrestle with the role of co-founder and Chairman Bill Gates, according to people familiar with the matter.

Obama administration response to Justin Bieber deportation petition forthcoming (PR)
A petition created seven days ago asking the United States federal government to deport pop singer Justin Bieber back to his native Canada will now see an official response from the Obama administration, in accordance with its policies stating that any such petition filed on whitehouse.gov will be replied to if its digital signatures reach six figures. The petition, originally filed by an individual who identifies himself only as “J.A.” from Detroit, Michigan, has already received more than two hundred thousand signatures, twice the number required for a response.

EBA Outlines This Year’s Stress Test for EU’s Biggest Banks (WSJ)
To “pass” the test, banks will have to show a ratio of 8% in core Tier 1 capital relative to their risk-adjusted assets in the baseline scenario, and 5.5% in the adverse scenario. The exercise will take as its definition of capital the EU’s latest Capital Requirements Directive, which came into force at the start of this year. That directive is the EU’s implementation of the globally agreed “Basel III” accords on banking capital and liquidity. One of its characteristics is that some capital instruments common to European banks are being phased out in a transitional period that runs through 2018. As such, banks will have to show in the test that they are migrating to newer, more recognized forms of capital at the desired speed.

Men’s Wearhouse, Jos. A. Bank continue merger dance (NYP)
Men’s Wearhouse said Thursday it would consider sweetening its $1.61 billion takeover bid for Jos. A. Bank, urging independent directors for its arch-rival to allow it a peek at its books. Jos. A. Bank — whose chairman, Bob Wildrick, put both companies in play last September when he made an initial overture to Men’s Wearhouse valued at $2.3 billion — declined to comment.

Yellen to deliver second day of testimony on February 13 (Reuters)
Incoming Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen will testify on the economy before the U.S. Senate Banking Committee on February 13, an aide for the panel said on Friday…It will be Yellen’s second day of testimony on the Fed’s semiannual monetary policy report. She is scheduled to testify before a House panel on February 11.

What’s in a Name? Woman Changing Hers to ‘Sexy’ (Fox8)
Sheila Crabtree has gone by her middle name, Ranea, since she was a teenager. She said she’s hated her first name, for no particular reason, nearly her entire life. “It’s an ugly name I was cursed with,” she said. “My mom chose my middle name, Ranea, which I love. And my dad chose the ugly name.” Crabtree said she quietly decided to fix the problem, and petitioned to have it legally changed to Sexy in court. “My husband sometimes calls me sexy,” she said. “I just decided on that just because it’s fun. I wasn’t expecting anyone to find out. I didn’t even tell my husband I was going through with it.” But part of the application process requires running a notice in the newspaper. That’s when her plan became public. “It was in real small print,” she said. “Then a couple of weeks later, I started getting calls and was contacted by everyone. I’m sure if I’d changed it to something ordinary, no one would have even known.” For the past week, Crabtree said she’s been interviewed by websites, radio stations and TV stations from all over the country. Some of the attention has been negative, with criticism about her choice of Sexy as a new name. “I’m not doing it for attention,” she said. “I’m just doing it for me. This is what I want in my life. I just wanted to get rid of that name entirely so I could be completely happy. I’m perfectly happy with everything else in my life right now.” She said her two teenage daughters think the change is a little silly, but they’re both fine with it. “I like to have a lot of fun,” said Crabtree. “I’m not a real serious person.”

16 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (16)

  1. Posted by London Banker | January 31, 2014 at 12:49 PM

    The only way Sheila Crabtree could have more daddie issues is if Laxbro was her father

  2. Posted by SMU Secure | January 31, 2014 at 12:53 PM

    Hey!

  3. Posted by Horse | January 31, 2014 at 12:59 PM

    Shazar's To-Do List:

    1. Pretend to be Chinese
    2. Blow off work today, leaving Opening(sic) Bell to Bess
    3. Pound the three remaining cans of Four Loko still in his mini-fridge

  4. Posted by Guest | January 31, 2014 at 1:00 PM

    Actual question: Is daddy spelled daddie in England or are you just a weirdo?

  5. Posted by Guest | January 31, 2014 at 1:03 PM

    So sponsorship of the year's most-watched U.S. sporting event is "picking up the tab"?

    Someone might have to explain the concept of brand advertising to Bloomberg.

  6. Posted by Guest | January 31, 2014 at 1:04 PM

    'Weirdo'? Did you learn to speak English from 70's sitcoms?

  7. Posted by Guest | January 31, 2014 at 1:12 PM

    Don't you dare associate Four Lokos with Shazaar

    -College kid who lives off them on the weekends because how else can you get shit-tanked for under $5

  8. Posted by Hobbes | January 31, 2014 at 1:43 PM

    Malt liquor?

  9. Posted by Guest | January 31, 2014 at 2:12 PM

    Look, I'm only doing this because I'm pretty cranky (Opening Bell after lunch?) and you asked a really dumb question. There are a lot of ways to get "shit-tanked" for under $5. Cheap whiskey / vodka / rum gets the job done and won't leave you with a neon colored tongue.

    I wish Geezer Oil Trader were here to rip you a new one for your choice in drink.

  10. Posted by guest | January 31, 2014 at 2:23 PM

    In my youth down in Waco we used to lick horny toads to get wasted.

  11. Posted by Guest | January 31, 2014 at 2:49 PM

    I have never seen whiskey/vodka/rum for that cheap so either:

    1) you're the world's biggest lightweight
    2) you're making alc in your bathtub
    3) you're from bumfuck texas
    4) all of the above

    – Everyone who lives on the East Coast above the Mason-Dixon

  12. Posted by UBS | January 31, 2014 at 2:52 PM

    The Mason Dixon Line doesn't extend to the "East Coast"

    -UBS Geography Quant Analyst

  13. Posted by Embarrassed | January 31, 2014 at 2:54 PM

    No wonder we have such a bad rap. Yes it does.

    -UBS Geography Quant MD

  14. Posted by Guest | January 31, 2014 at 2:57 PM

    Are you sure it's not "rep"?

    -UBS Heterograph Quant

  15. Posted by wot? | January 31, 2014 at 3:05 PM

    Hahahahaha

    – GS Geography Quant Associate

  16. Posted by Cunnie Lingus | January 31, 2014 at 8:03 PM

    Sexy (nee Sheila) lives in "Licking County Ohio"?

    Sounds like my kind of town!