Write-Offs: 01.17.14

$$$ Deutsche Bank Drops After Report That Firm Weighs Profit Warning [Bloomberg]

$$$ Dr. Sidney Gilman, the key witness for prosecutors in the insider trading trial of Mathew Martoma, a former portfolio manager at SAC Capital Advisors, told the jury on Friday that he retired from a teaching position at the University of Michigan rather than be fired after it emerged that he passed on confidential information to Mr. Martoma. “I retired rather than being fired,” said Dr. Gilman, 81, who took the stand on the fifth day of the trial. Explaining why he retired in November 2012, Dr. Gilman said, “I revealed information that was confidential about a clinical drug trial to Mathew Martoma, inappropriately.” [Dealbook]

$$$ HSBC Suspends Two Currency Traders Amid Global Forex Probe [WSJ]

$$$ ATMs Face Deadline to Upgrade From Windows XP [BusinessWeek]

$$$ The price of bacon rose 9.6 percent last year [NPR]

$$$ Insider Trading Law Can’t Handle Nest and Nestor [BloombergView/Matt]

$$$ Falcone Grilled By Ergen Lawyers [NYP]

$$$ Watch Shia LaBeouf Headbutt Some Guy During a Bar Fight Last Night [Gawker]

$$$ That’s it for us today! Enjoy the long weekend and we’ll see you back here on Tuesday!

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Comments (6)

  1. Posted by Cactus Ass | January 17, 2014 at 5:22 PM

    I'm still waiting for Michael Moore to go to Cuba and have liposuction performed by Fidel. Come on big Mike, put your money where your fat mouth is.

    Once Obamacare is fully implemented, Cuban witch doctors are going to get rich off of medical tourist Americans.

  2. Posted by OUtta | January 20, 2014 at 2:36 AM

    Anyone here speak shaznigger?

  3. Posted by Zer0 Fucks | January 20, 2014 at 4:33 AM

    I really give zero fucks about MLKJr.

  4. Posted by Guest | January 20, 2014 at 8:39 AM

    I also give zero fucks to MLKJr, but may consider giving a fuck or two to Shaniqua LKJr.

  5. Posted by UBS CEO | January 20, 2014 at 9:57 AM

    OK bitchaz, starting at 10:30EST, 100% of fees from US equity sales for the day will be allocated to the bonus pool.

  6. Posted by Guest | January 20, 2014 at 11:46 AM

    I have a dream. A dream that Shazar learns to love the black man while dropping the soap in the shower after being confined to a maximum security prison for the crime of molesting the Crtl + C and the Crtl + V.