Houston Based Money Manager Seeks Protégé With At Least Three Super Bowl Rings, Would Train The Right Candidate With Only One

Is this you?

From: [redacted at houston based investment firm]
Sent: Monday, February 10, 2014 12:40 PM
Subject: Hiring Priority

We have been fortunate to attract and hire some outstanding people in the last year. We have integrated these people into areas where we had substantial needs, and we are starting to look toward the future. Now, we are beginning to search for the “next generation” of leaders for [redacted] Investments.

The first, and primary, hire that we are going to focus on in this area is to find someone who will work directly with me. They will learn our business from the ground up with me as their primary coach. Strong preference would be a football player who has played at a high level, but any former athlete who is very competitive will be considered.

Because they are going to be working directly with me and for me, the opportunity will come with large responsibilities and expectations. That means that only thick-skinned, hard workers who have a driving hunger to succeed should apply. The interview process will be rigorous, detailed and somewhat intense. The training process will be very time consuming, and they will be expected to keep up with the schedule and demands that I place on myself. This role is designed to train someone to be capable of running a business like ours. That means they will be expected to learn the four primary aspects of our business:

1. Investment Management
2. Marketing and Business Development
3. Client Service
4. Management and Vision for the Company

They need to be willing to invest several years of their life to learn the business, where they can then grow into a leadership role in one of the four areas listed. Where they end up will be based on their aptitude.

Forgive the football analogy but it really defines the role well. We are looking for someone who wants to succeed so much that they are willing to come be a part of the “scout team” while they learn the system. If they work hard enough and show that they can make plays in practice, they will be given an opportunity to get in the game on “special teams” where they can show what they can do. At this point the hope is that they can earn a starting position and then grow into a leadership position as a “Captain” on the team.

We expect this role to be filled by someone who is already in the workplace, but someone who is currently in school is welcome to apply as we will wait for the right candidate.

Please see the attached job description. All applicants need to have high moral values, be very intelligent with outstanding problem solving skills, possess a high sense of urgency, be very articulate and have an insatiable desire to succeed at everything they do.

All candidates should email me directly with Assistant to the Chairman in the Subject line.

Thank you for passing this along to all those you know who might be aware of potential candidates. Please help us exponentially increase the distribution via your email list.

Take care,


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27 Responses to “Houston Based Money Manager Seeks Protégé With At Least Three Super Bowl Rings, Would Train The Right Candidate With Only One”

  1. Quant me maybe... says:

    Because people who have had multiple concussions make the best money managers.

  2. Bill Miller says:

    Aren't marketing and 'investment management' the same thing in this industry?

  3. Mike S says:

    My draft stock just dropped drastically….when can I come in for an interview?

  4. Leading Candidate says:

    My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.

  5. guest says:

    favorite. kind. of. dealbreaker.

  6. Im_a_Dude says:

    Dennis Rodman is available

  7. Jim Kelly says:


  8. Brian Bosworth, CFA says:

    Just the opportunity that I was waiting for…Stone Cold 2 script isn't coming along as planned.

  9. I like it says:

    Willing to bet this guy sells annuities and life policies.

  10. Guest says:

    Consider the "exponentially increase the distribution" piece done.

  11. Frank Delaney says:

    The horses that react to the whip and perform are the ones that are of use. The rest are sent out to pasture

    • E. Texas Gas Trader says:

      "Out to pasture" ain't so bad. You get to laze about and fuck fillies from time to time, eat and drink all you want and shit wherever you please. Kind of like being a natural gas trader in many ways.

  12. Guest says:

    What about dodge ball?

  13. investorcluzo says:

    equities in Dallas > executive assistant in Houston

    -Liar's Poker Quant

  14. guest says:

    Revised subject line: "Strongest argument ever made for passive investing via indices/ETFs"

  15. PSU? says:

    If he asks for shirtless photos as part of the application, be worried

  16. H.R. says:

    I will tote this ex-football player to my country club and numerous cocktail parties. Having the ability to impress my pot bellied, jock sniffing, jerk off friends is critical to the role.

  17. Rebecca M. says:

    While Houston can be nice, I'm really holding out for a Dallas S&T position.

    -UBS Offensive Team Quant

  18. TheodoreBallgamePhD says:

    Flexible moral compass preferred.

    -J. Dondero

  19. CCC says:

    What a tool.

  20. CCC says:

    Looks like this Company needs to start taking applications for the Chairman position as well.

  21. VonSloneker says:

    Give me a name so I can taunt him/her at The Houstonian.

    – Guy who has already verified with HR that it is not us

    • I like it says:

      Yes, please. Although, he is easy to spot. Short, balding and walking around with the sleeveless "t" but never works out. Then asks for a smoothie with extra protein…..