Back in January, Mohamed El-Erian announced that he would soon be stepping down from his posts as CIO and co-CEO of Pimco. In the two months since, Bill Gross, his former boss, has promoted six employees to do his job as chief investment officer, and offered at least three reasons why El-Erian actually did the fund a favor by boxing up his things and leaving.

One thing that hasn’t really been discussed all that much, besides in the purely speculative sense, is why El-Erian is leaving. Was it the pull of the academic world? Did he want to spend more time with his mustache? Were the early mornings becoming a grind? Journal reporters Greg Zuckerman and Kirsten Grind spent some time investigating the question and it seems the answer– how to put this?– is that as a boss, Bill Gross has a tendency to act like an insufferable prick.

For those wondering what exactly that entails, herewith, a day in the life of person toiling under BG.

3:45AM: Alarm goes off. Hit snooze just once, knowing that being late, or even on time but the last person in, will result in an earful about being a worthless contribution to the firm and society at large.

Most Pimco investment professionals arrive at the office around 4:30 a.m.—well before trading opens on Wall Street—and stay until 5 p.m. or later. The firm encourages internal competition, current and former employees say.

7:55AM: Stare at the ceiling while Gross berates you for whispering to a colleague about the performance of a pretty important investment; simply nod in the affirmative when he asks you if you understand what the words “shut the fuck up” mean, knowing that one spoken word could set him off all over again. Agonize over whether or not you accidentally looked him in the eye at any point during the tirade.

On the trading floor, Mr. Gross doesn’t like employees speaking with him or making eye contact, especially in the morning, current and former employees say. He prefers silence and at times reprimands those who break it, even if they’re discussing investments, these people say.

10:47AM: Feel your heart sink as you realize you’re probably going to have your bonus slashed by 65% because there is no “p.33″ on page 33 of your presentation. Debate whether to look at your nails or at the floor as Gross shoots daggers in your direction.

Mr. Gross, who served as a naval officer during the Vietnam War, has strict requirements for presentations to Pimco’s investment committee. He has scolded employees for forgetting to number the pages in their presentations and has given them “communication demerits” that an assistant to Mr. Gross tracks to help determine year-end bonuses, according to people who have worked at Pimco.

1:28PM: Wonder if Gross was serious when he told you to write him a $20,000 check for wearing a single windsor instead of the approved double. Decide he was.

One day about 10 years ago, recalls John Brynjolfsson, at the time a Pimco portfolio manager, Mr. Gross criticized him for not standing when a visiting client toured the trading floor. He recalls Mr. Gross telling him there would be “consequences.” Mr. Brynjolfsson says Mr. Gross suggested that he write a $10,000 check to Pimco’s charitable foundation. Mr. Brynjolfsson, who says he considered the situation a misunderstanding, made the donation.

4:25PM: Kick yourself for forgetting your saddle again, knowing it might’ve been your turn in the rotation to hop on Gross’s back as he galloped around the trading floor shouting out buy orders.

Late last year, in front of a number of traders, Mr. Gross said, “if only Mohamed would let me, I could run all the $2 trillion myself…I’m Secretariat,” referring to the famed thoroughbred. “Why would you bet on anyone other than Secretariat?”

For his part, Secretariat says that he was much more of a nightmare to work for back in the day. (“It had nothing to do with friction,” Gross told the Journal of El-Erian’s departure. “Sometimes people will say ‘Gross is too challenging,’ and maybe so. I would say if you think I’m challenging now, you should have seen me 20 years ago.”)

Inside the Showdown Atop Pimco, the World’s Biggest Bond Firm [WSJ]

Earlier: Bill Gross: Pimco 10 Times The Fund It Was With Ole Whatshisface; Bill Gross Will Give You Three Reasons Why Pimco Is Better Off Without Ole Whatshisface

Related: Bill Gross Enforces Total Silence On The Trading Floor Except For When He’s Leading A Conga Line Around People’s Desks

30 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (30)

  1. Posted by Donnie | February 25, 2014 at 3:08 PM

    But at least it's close to the beach.

  2. Posted by Guest | February 25, 2014 at 3:13 PM

    Gross, Gross, you pussy – look in me in the eyes, look me in the eyes, and you will see who's your new daddy you Cali wimp!! Ask Corzine what I did to him!! << Jamie Dimon's Evil Left Brow >>

  3. Posted by Sebargo | February 25, 2014 at 3:26 PM

    Bess is a great writer. I mean I would totally be down to spend a relaxing weekend on a private island with her dabbling in creative writing while nude. Bess wadda yah say?

  4. Posted by guest | February 25, 2014 at 3:38 PM

    Conga!

  5. Posted by Guest | February 25, 2014 at 3:44 PM

    What happened when he was looked in the eye? Did he order the violator to give him 50?

  6. Posted by Guest | February 25, 2014 at 3:45 PM

    $200mm a year for riding a one way bond market? That's insane.

  7. Posted by Guest | February 25, 2014 at 3:47 PM

    The emperor wears no yoga pants.

  8. Posted by ILoveLamp | February 25, 2014 at 3:51 PM

    B.G.: Stop eyeballing me. You're not worthy to look your superiors in the eye

    M.E.E: Pardon me? Are you doing Louis Gosset Jr? Really?

    B.G.: Stop eyeballing me, or I'll rip your eyeballs out and skullfuck you to death.

    M.E.E.: Now just a minute, I don't appreciate being spoken to that way.

    B.G.: Well, you can forget it! You're out!

    M.E.E.: Don't you do it! I got nowhere else to go! I got nowhere else to goooooo…

  9. Posted by guest | February 25, 2014 at 3:55 PM

    But is he still feeling fat?

  10. Posted by guest | February 25, 2014 at 4:15 PM

    Would love to see Gross and Sly Stallone approach each other. It would be a staredown without any staring.

  11. Posted by Guest | February 25, 2014 at 4:16 PM

    "I have a 41-year track record of investing excellence," Mr. Gross told Mr. El-Erian, according to the two witnesses. "What do you have?"

  12. Posted by Vlad Dracula Putin | February 25, 2014 at 4:48 PM

    I not like when people look in my eyes too.

  13. Posted by Guest | February 25, 2014 at 4:52 PM

    So when he said, "hell no, don't go" was he crossing his fingers behind his back?

  14. Posted by guest | February 25, 2014 at 5:10 PM

    maybe he doesn't allow people to look him in the eye for security reasons. they could try to hypnotise him.

  15. Posted by guest | February 25, 2014 at 5:12 PM

    I have two eyeballs on you before 8 am, bill. bwaaahahahahahaha!!!!

  16. Posted by FOcking Curious | February 25, 2014 at 5:15 PM

    Is this man considered attractive?

  17. Posted by Dr Fill | February 25, 2014 at 5:15 PM

    I smell aspergers

  18. Posted by John Brynjolfson | February 25, 2014 at 5:51 PM

    B.G. AW needs $$$. Call me.

  19. Posted by mrp | February 25, 2014 at 7:17 PM

    Cocaine is a helluva drug

  20. Posted by R. Burgundy | February 25, 2014 at 8:26 PM

    This is what happens when you shave the 'stache.

  21. Posted by Curmudgeonly Troll | February 26, 2014 at 10:51 AM

    Some days, I look at the way you cook leftovers into a feast and just fall in love all over again.

  22. Posted by Curmudgeonly Troll | February 26, 2014 at 10:58 AM

    shaved it in a jealous fit when the full-time on-staff whisker groomer said Mohamed's tufts had better 'heft'…

    this could all have been avoided with a trip to the facial hair transplant man –
    http://nypost.com/2014/02/25/hipster-wannabes-for

  23. Posted by Guest | February 26, 2014 at 4:31 PM

    No, it doesn't.
    Fuck off Not Brynjo

  24. Posted by cgp | February 26, 2014 at 5:46 PM

    MOHAMMED EL-ERIAN DESERVES WHAT HE GOT…AFTER WHAT HE DID TO HARVARD!

  25. Posted by Marie | February 27, 2014 at 12:44 PM

    YA! atleast you get to stare at people have fun all day while you toil away

  26. Posted by smyd cgp | February 27, 2014 at 12:50 PM

    $100mn a year bonus?

  27. Posted by b. dee | February 27, 2014 at 9:43 PM

    can someone tell me why it says "welcome home, morgan stanley" at the top of the page?

    why not rbs?

    i love rbs

  28. Posted by b. dee | February 27, 2014 at 9:45 PM

    50… grand. euros.

  29. Posted by VonSloneker | February 28, 2014 at 5:34 PM

    Jesus, this Gross character is a fucking narcissist…

    – P. Bateman

  30. Posted by @Abuteezhamra | May 20, 2014 at 9:44 PM

    Truth is that Pimco dumped Mohamed El-Erian as a result of his dismal performance. So let's show him some empathy especially now that people are starting to ignore him, as he inevitably fades into oblivion, for it must be killing him inside given his insanely oversized ego and deep rooted insecurities.