Write-Offs: 02.20.14

$$$ Jobless Claims in U.S. Fell Last Week as Firings Abated [Bloomberg]

$$$ Firm Stops Giving High-Speed Traders Direct Access to Releases [WSJ]

$$$ JPMorgan Dad Starts Biotech in Muscular Dystrophy Quest [Bloomberg]

$$$ GrubHub Seamless Files Confidentially for Initial Public Offering [WSJ]

$$$ McKevitt was working the second shift at Polaris Industries’ warehouse in Milford when he decided to break for a snack last fall He says he deposited $1 in a vending machine, selected a 90-cent Twix bar, and then watched as the candy bar crept forward in its slot, began its descent and was abruptly snagged by a spiral hook that held it suspended in midair. “I was, like, ‘Oh, man,’ ” said McKevitt, 27. “So I put in another dollar, and then it wouldn’t do anything.” At first, McKevitt’s frustration took the customary route: He banged the side of the machine. He tried rocking it back and forth. But when that didn’t work, McKevitt walked away and commandeered an 8,000-pound forklift, according to state unemployment compensation records. He reportedly drove up to the vending machine, lifted it 2 feet off the concrete warehouse floor — then let it drop. He allegedly repeated the maneuver at least six times, by which time three candy bars had fallen into the chute for his retrieval. [DMR]

$$$ Herbalife executives head to DC to explain business model [Reuters]

$$$ Deutsche Bank to Pay $1.06 Billion to Settle Long-Running Litigation [Dealbook]

$$$ Dutch speedskating coach: US football ‘sucks’ [CNBC]

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  1. Posted by Hasty Poodin | February 20, 2014 at 8:54 PM

    And the COSTANZA award goes to Robert McKevitt, for deftly combining two distinct George Costanza lunkhead moves into one vignette, resulting in his termination. The "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?", and the hanging Twix bar scenario.