It was yet another average wintry day on the Upper East Side navigating the onyx, iced streets. “I feel like I’m living in East Germany or Moscow,” a Wall Street friend said, taking a spoonful of anemic chicken noodle soup and saltine crackers at a local diner ($5.90) because it was too frigid to venture East of Lexington. “This weather really has me down,” he shivered, wrapped in a khaki wool coat and a Russian-style military hat. “And then you realize you’re out of favor and that everyone hates you,” he complained. “How can you say that?” I asked in disbelief. “Who hates you?” “Them,” he shivered, eating the lonely saltine left in the cellophane wrapper, crumbs pouring onto his rough, woolen trousers. “We used to run this town. Now I feel like they want to run us all out.” [...] “Who says I have to live here?” [another] financial whiz said. “I mean seriously. First it was Occupy Wall Street. Now it’s a tale of two cities,” he said. “All I do is work 23 hours a day, provide the tax base and make donations to every charity, and suddenly I’m maligned. Who says I need to be here when I can be living in Miami, with no state income tax, rollerblading with Brazilian supermodels in string bikinis?” [NYO]

28 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (28)

  1. Posted by guest | March 19, 2014 at 2:29 PM

    "East Germany or East 79th Street? Who can even tell at this point?"

    mouse-over ftw.

  2. Posted by guest | March 19, 2014 at 2:29 PM

    really hoping the 'anemic chicken' and 'lonely saltines' tags get a lot of play.

  3. Posted by guest | March 19, 2014 at 2:30 PM

    anemic chicken would be a great name for a band.

  4. Posted by P. Falcone | March 19, 2014 at 2:41 PM

    Hmm, I was thinking of using it for a fund name, but the band idea could work as well.

  5. Posted by Guest | March 19, 2014 at 2:51 PM

    In Soviet America, brazilian supermodel roller blades you.

  6. Posted by reality check | March 19, 2014 at 3:01 PM

    "Financial whiz" … aka broker over at BAML

  7. Posted by Guest | March 19, 2014 at 3:02 PM

    Not Ken Langone kvetching again! Enough already.

  8. Posted by Guest | March 19, 2014 at 3:04 PM

    Holy shit who are these turnips? I cannot stress this enough, the amount of "hitters" compared to the amount of "bankers" in NYC is vastly overblown. Its even lower, like 0% who live on the UES

  9. Posted by P0ll | March 19, 2014 at 3:05 PM

    lol i told a cabby he smelt like camel turd once and he stopped and kicked me out. I then kicked a huge dent into the side of his cab and said, "thank you come again."

  10. Posted by Guest | March 19, 2014 at 3:05 PM

    Does Goldman have an operations department in Miami?

  11. Posted by Guest | March 19, 2014 at 3:10 PM

    This article has to be a joke, and if its not I hope everyone in it gets the clap

  12. Posted by GSAM | March 19, 2014 at 3:18 PM

    Utah

  13. Posted by Guest | March 19, 2014 at 3:19 PM

    I predict Cuba will rise as the next hedge fund destination.

  14. Posted by Marketing Whiz | March 19, 2014 at 3:20 PM

    Shia

    - Douche for men

  15. Posted by Confucius | March 19, 2014 at 3:24 PM

    Tepid climates beget tepid minds.

  16. Posted by SMU secure | March 19, 2014 at 3:26 PM

    In NY, a dominican blades your kid.

  17. Posted by Guest | March 19, 2014 at 3:30 PM

    The ushanka and wool coat scream "South Park." The £5.90 dinner with saltines cry "Bridge and Tunnel." The inflated tax bracket says stock loan broker.

  18. Posted by Guest | March 19, 2014 at 3:33 PM

    Rollerblading with Brazilian supermodels in string bikinis > Wind sprinting with an Italian financial journalist in Zubaz

  19. Posted by guest | March 19, 2014 at 3:35 PM

    what a great fucking story.

    - no one

  20. Posted by guest | March 19, 2014 at 3:36 PM

    The most pathetic thing about this post– and there are many– is that this didn't actually happen but you thought it was funny enough to claim it did.

  21. Posted by FiDiBiGuy | March 19, 2014 at 3:37 PM

    What about switch hitters?

  22. Posted by Confucius | March 19, 2014 at 3:38 PM

    Tepid climates open inboxes and dilate milkboxes.

    - Real Confucius

  23. Posted by Guest | March 19, 2014 at 3:55 PM

    *Real Slim Shady

    Fixed it for you

  24. Posted by Im_a_Dude | March 19, 2014 at 3:56 PM

    and India

  25. Posted by Rajit Gupta | March 19, 2014 at 4:04 PM

    Too soon..

  26. Posted by WSO Poster | March 19, 2014 at 4:28 PM

    What about the amount of BSD's?

  27. Posted by Reed | March 19, 2014 at 10:59 PM

    "New York" is serious. People want to invest with serious. Nobody wants to give their money to a guy they imagine is in Bermuda shorts. Miami is un-serious.

    No.

  28. Posted by American Debts | March 26, 2014 at 2:15 PM

    23 hours a day? I love when traders, investors, market makers talk about work. There is a lot of eating and side conversations going on during that work. Plus, that work is not work. It's……….sitting. Or standing. I guess their eyes are moving around a lot. Not much else.