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Area Financier Wants To Tear Down This Wall And Go Where People Appreciate What He Does For The Economy, Supermodels Invite Him To Go Rollerblading

It was yet another average wintry day on the Upper East Side navigating the onyx, iced streets. “I feel like I’m living in East Germany or Moscow,” a Wall Street friend said, taking a spoonful of anemic chicken noodle soup and saltine crackers at a local diner ($5.90) because it was too frigid to venture East of Lexington. “This weather really has me down,” he shivered, wrapped in a khaki wool coat and a Russian-style military hat. “And then you realize you’re out of favor and that everyone hates you,” he complained. “How can you say that?” I asked in disbelief. “Who hates you?” “Them,” he shivered, eating the lonely saltine left in the cellophane wrapper, crumbs pouring onto his rough, woolen trousers. “We used to run this town. Now I feel like they want to run us all out.” […] “Who says I have to live here?” [another] financial whiz said. “I mean seriously. First it was Occupy Wall Street. Now it’s a tale of two cities,” he said. “All I do is work 23 hours a day, provide the tax base and make donations to every charity, and suddenly I’m maligned. Who says I need to be here when I can be living in Miami, with no state income tax, rollerblading with Brazilian supermodels in string bikinis?” [NYO]

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28 Responses to “Area Financier Wants To Tear Down This Wall And Go Where People Appreciate What He Does For The Economy, Supermodels Invite Him To Go Rollerblading”

  1. guest says:

    "East Germany or East 79th Street? Who can even tell at this point?"

    mouse-over ftw.

  2. guest says:

    really hoping the 'anemic chicken' and 'lonely saltines' tags get a lot of play.

  3. Guest says:

    In Soviet America, brazilian supermodel roller blades you.

  4. reality check says:

    "Financial whiz" … aka broker over at BAML

    • P0ll says:

      lol i told a cabby he smelt like camel turd once and he stopped and kicked me out. I then kicked a huge dent into the side of his cab and said, "thank you come again."

      • guest says:

        what a great fucking story.

        – no one

      • guest says:

        The most pathetic thing about this post– and there are many– is that this didn't actually happen but you thought it was funny enough to claim it did.

  5. Guest says:

    Not Ken Langone kvetching again! Enough already.

  6. Guest says:

    Holy shit who are these turnips? I cannot stress this enough, the amount of "hitters" compared to the amount of "bankers" in NYC is vastly overblown. Its even lower, like 0% who live on the UES

  7. Guest says:

    Does Goldman have an operations department in Miami?

  8. Guest says:

    This article has to be a joke, and if its not I hope everyone in it gets the clap

  9. Guest says:

    I predict Cuba will rise as the next hedge fund destination.

  10. Confucius says:

    Tepid climates beget tepid minds.

  11. Guest says:

    The ushanka and wool coat scream "South Park." The £5.90 dinner with saltines cry "Bridge and Tunnel." The inflated tax bracket says stock loan broker.

  12. Guest says:

    Rollerblading with Brazilian supermodels in string bikinis > Wind sprinting with an Italian financial journalist in Zubaz

  13. Reed says:

    "New York" is serious. People want to invest with serious. Nobody wants to give their money to a guy they imagine is in Bermuda shorts. Miami is un-serious.

    No.

  14. 23 hours a day? I love when traders, investors, market makers talk about work. There is a lot of eating and side conversations going on during that work. Plus, that work is not work. It's……….sitting. Or standing. I guess their eyes are moving around a lot. Not much else.