So here’s all you need to know for tonight: If UConn and Kentucky score a total of 138 points or higher, Jos. A. Bank wins and El Erian finishes second. If the score is 137 points or lower, El Erian really IS the man. Jos. A. Bernanke would still get second.
Our projection system, which has never gotten us laid, is a model using advanced shooting, free throw, turnover, rebounding, pace and efficiency stats from the beginning of the season to the beginning of the tournament. It says Kentucky will win the national championship game tonight, by 70-69. However, the algorithm has feelings and emotions, and cautions in Donald Longueuil’s sultry voice that if Kentucky abuses UConn on the boards the way it abused teams on the boards all season – and if the Wildcats get to the line regularly and make their free throws – they should win the game by 14 points. And if UConn can force turnovers – a thing the team does very well – it could skew the game in the Huskies’ favor.
Enjoy the game!