• 24 Apr 2014 at 2:25 PM

Layoffs Watch ’14: UBS

The Swiss are said to have called some people into conference rooms where HR was waiting, which is never a good sign.

From the front lines:

“Big cuts at UBS yesterday. Affected everyone from MDs on down.”

19 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (19)

  1. Posted by Bandersnatch | April 24, 2014 at 2:44 PM

    They can't even terminate people properly. It's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.

  2. Posted by Swiss diss | April 24, 2014 at 3:00 PM

    Not working at UBS is it's own reward….unless you got kids or mortgage or a timeshare in the Hamptons

  3. Posted by biglawinsecure | April 24, 2014 at 3:08 PM

    serious question: who works at UBS? Its been like what, 7 years of non stop bad news. What makes some 22 year old think "well, after all that utter shit and mediocrity, I am sure ILL live the models and bottles life style I read about on wso"

  4. Posted by wallstreetisdoomed | April 24, 2014 at 3:22 PM

    when will people get it, wall street, the finance sector, investment banks, etc are doomed. New regulations coming down the pipe are going to shut firms down. The government will then take it all over and no more middle man. That's the grand plan. You don't need a 401K, there's hidden fees there……have a government sponsored retirement plan instead. Get your mortgage from the government you done need Wells Fargo…….its only a matter of time.

  5. Posted by Swedish Chef | April 24, 2014 at 3:23 PM

    Turn out the lights, the party's over……….

    There are so many out of work people in NYC who used to do "finance", we are the new Motor City. Happy days everyone.

  6. Posted by WSO Monkey | April 24, 2014 at 3:29 PM

    You don't understand. Winners, win. That's what they do.
    It does not matter if you work at Goldman, UBS or Jefferies. It does not matter if you make a buck a year or if you have a gun pointed to your head and a dick up your ass. Winners win, that's what they do.

  7. Posted by Mons Venus | April 24, 2014 at 3:30 PM

    I thought they already did this. They are still doing this? What will they do when there is no one left to fire? Who fires the last guy standing? Does he fire himself? Does he just drive his Honda Tercel into the ocean?

  8. Posted by Captain Oblivious | April 24, 2014 at 3:36 PM

    Nice job Mons venus. That is hilarious. What isn't funny is that about 75% of people who work on "Wall St" will be gone in the next ten years, replaced by Pimpbot 5000's who wlll take your order. Its game over, sayonara, goodnight the lights time. Fire yourself before you leave tonight umkay??

  9. Posted by Short, But Long | April 24, 2014 at 3:47 PM

    Clearly you have no idea how finance works.

  10. Posted by Leoy | April 24, 2014 at 4:04 PM

    Wanna coach my kids t-ball team?

  11. Posted by Julio | April 24, 2014 at 4:24 PM

    U sure they are your kids?

  12. Posted by Austin, TX | April 24, 2014 at 4:33 PM

    They live in NYC? How do they pay their rent?

  13. Posted by guest | April 24, 2014 at 4:37 PM

    Re: mortgages
    Keeping up with the FMCC/FNMA reforms I see.

    – Nobody ever

  14. Posted by Tyron | April 24, 2014 at 4:48 PM

    I concur.

  15. Posted by J. Shazar | April 24, 2014 at 4:49 PM

    They can just backdate it.

  16. Posted by Customer service | April 24, 2014 at 4:54 PM

    It was overdone. You had every goon in the world chasing the same deals towards the end of the structured finance bubble and it has been down hill since.

    All the banks now concede that it is simply a turn on the lights and pipes now. Staff just gets in the way, costs money. Does stupid shit periodically.

  17. Posted by UBS for the loss | April 26, 2014 at 3:20 PM

    Lower headcount means a greater ability to run larger trading losses

  18. Posted by FatGuySkinnyTie | April 28, 2014 at 1:26 PM

    I like reading what the spambots have to say more than I like reading what your thick brain spews out to your fingertips.

    Resist the urge of changing your name a fifth time and just step away from the keyboard.

    Sayonara. Sweet Jesus.

  19. Posted by JBorer | May 4, 2014 at 9:28 PM

    Updated UBS advert: "You and Us…………and HR….and a packet"