Opening Bell: 04.16.14

Credit Suisse Net Falls on Lower Investment Bank Profit (Bloomberg)
Net income decreased to 859 million francs ($976 million) from 1.3 billion francs in the year-earlier quarter, the Zurich-based company said in a statement today. Credit Suisse tumbled in Swiss trading after earnings missed the 1.09 billion-franc estimate of seven analysts surveyed by Bloomberg.

Mt. Gox Files for Liquidation (WSJ)
Defunct bitcoin exchange Mt. Gox has given up its plan to rebuild under bankruptcy protection and has asked a Tokyo court to allow it to be liquidated, people familiar with the situation said. These people cited as reasons the complexity of the procedure—including the difficulty of holding meetings with creditors spread around the world—as well as the lack of realistic rehabilitation plans for the Tokyo-based exchange. Mt. Gox, at one point the world’s busiest bitcoin exchange, collapsed in February and said as it filed for bankruptcy protection in Tokyo on Feb. 28 that it had lost 850,000 bitcoin worth around half a billion dollars. Since then, about 200,000 bitcoin have been recovered and are part of the exchange’s assets.

Goldman Moves To Energize Stock Trading (WSJ)
Under pressure from unhappy clients and losing market share to rivals, Goldman Sachs Group is trying to jump-start its stock-trading business. At recent trading conferences with top clients, including Fidelity Investments and BlackRock Inc., and in private conversations, investors have vented their concerns with the way Goldman and other firms trade stocks, people familiar with the matter said. Amid the mounting frustration, Goldman has sought to take a more public role in the debate over the market’s future. The firm has encouraged employees to stress to clients its views on market mechanics, and in March the firm’s president wrote an opinion piece about those ideas in The Wall Street Journal. Goldman’s effort also has included discussions over the future of its Sigma X private stock-trading venue. The Journal reported April 8 that Goldman was considering shutting it down.

Fed should beef up low-rate vows, two officials say (Reuters)
“If you commit to keeping rates low even as the recovery is proceeding, even as we continue to recover, I think people have a sense, the Fed has the recovery’s back,” Minneapolis Federal Reserve Bank President Narayana Kocherlakota said at North Dakota State University. “And that’s the message that I think we need to do a better job of promoting.”

Keep Steve Jobs’ personality out of trial – tech companies (Reuters)
Witnesses at an upcoming trial over no-hire agreements in Silicon Valley should not be allowed to offer evidence that Apple co-founder Steve Jobs was “a bully,” four major tech companies argued in a court filing. Tech workers filed a class action lawsuit against Apple Inc, Google Inc, Intel Inc and Adobe Systems Inc in 2011, alleging they conspired to avoid competing for each other’s employees in order to avert a salary war. Trial is scheduled to begin at the end of May on behalf of roughly 60,000 workers in the class, and defendants say damages could exceed $9 billion. The case, which is closely watched in Silicon Valley, is largely built on emails among top executives, including late Apple Chief Executive Steve Jobs and former Google CEO Eric Schmidt. For instance, after a Google recruiter solicited an Apple employee, Schmidt told Jobs that the recruiter would be fired, court documents show. Jobs then forwarded Schmidt’s note to a top Apple human resources executive with a smiley face. In a joint court filing late last week, the companies told U.S. District Judge Lucy Koh in San Jose, California that they were not seeking to bar Jobs’ interactions with other witnesses about the no-hire agreements. However, opinions based on other evidence, like Walter Isaacson’s bestselling biography about Jobs, should be kept out of trial.

Mobile brothel catches fire at German motorway rest stop (DM)
Police and around 35 fire fighters were called to the scene after the mobile home burst into flames at the lay-by near Horneburg, Germany. The female brothel owner parked up at the site as it was a convenient spot for her to offer erotic services to clients. According to the police, these were mainly lorry drivers or car drivers who were travelling along the B73 motorway near the region of Horneburg, southwest of the city of Hamburg in Lower Saxony. The 32-year-old brothel owner known as ‘Lady Jane’ was fortunately conducting business with a truck driver in his cab when her ‘Love-Mobil’, which had included a bed and various erotic aids, caught fire.

Italian Banks Seen Selling About $69 Billion of Bad Loans (Bloomberg)
Italian banks are sitting on 160 billion euros of non-performing loans, a figure that will swell to 200 billion euros in the next two years as Italy emerges from recession, according to Riccardo Serrini, chief executive officer of Prelios Credit Servicing SpA, a unit of Milan-based Prelios.

Alibaba Flexes Muscles Before IPO (WSJ)
…with the latest results, Alibaba’s expected stock sale could value the company “well in excess” of $150 billion, Bernstein Research analyst Carlos Kirjner said, likely vaulting Alibaba into the top 10 technology companies in the world by stock-market value.

Maserati Said to Weigh New Sports Car After Orders Triple (Bloomberg)
Maserati will probably increase production and add the Alfieri sports car to its lineup after advance sales at the upscale Italian brand have almost tripled over 2013’s deliveries, people familiar with the matter said. The maker of Ghibli and Quattroporte sedans is getting 3,500 orders monthly, Harald Wester, who runs the brand, said in an interview. That would amount to 42,000 cars in 2014, compared with the 15,400 sold last year.

RBC to Close Proprietary-Trading Desk (WSJ)
RBC, Canada’s second-largest bank by assets, plans to spin off its New York-based Global Arbitrage and Trading arm into a stand-alone hedge fund as soon as the end of this year, according to people familiar with the matter. The bank will likely be an investor in the fund but not an owner so it complies with the so-called Volcker rule governing risk-taking by major financial institutions, one of the people said.

Girl’s USC rejection letter turns out to be prom proposal (WCSC)
A girl who was recently accepted at the University of South Carolina got a second shocking letter telling her that her she was instead rejected by the college. The letter to Caitlyn Metzker that arrived with official-looking USC letterhead and envelope, said, “Unfortunately, it is clear that your grades are not what they were when we accepted you.” The story of the letter was spotlighted Friday by Carson Daly during “What’s Trending” on the Today show. The letter goes on, in very convincing, official-sounding language to tell Metzker that there is concern about her senior year performance. The letter concludes by saying, “It saddens us to say that your admission is in jeopardy, and we may have to pull our admission from you due to your poor school ethic and attendance. However if you were to just agree to go to prom with your boyfriend we could reconsider letting you continue to be a South Carolina Gamecock. So what do you say, will you go to prom with me?”

11 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (11)

  1. Posted by InfiniteGuest | April 16, 2014 at 8:24 AM

    Talk about a hot ass.

    I'll show myself out.

  2. Posted by W. White | April 16, 2014 at 8:53 AM

    Illicit activities in mobile homes always end badly

  3. Posted by Guest | April 16, 2014 at 9:01 AM

    What hoes are willing to do not to service Shazar.

  4. Posted by Bob Salami | April 16, 2014 at 9:41 AM

    Shazar,

    Thank you for your interest in attending UBS. At this time we are unable to offer you a spot in our 2016 class. Good luck in all future endeavors.

    PS: just kidding, So what do you say, wanna meet at Minetta's for a blowbang?

  5. Posted by Guest | April 16, 2014 at 11:04 AM

    RBC closing prop desk because it's now done at IEX?

  6. Posted by Guest | April 16, 2014 at 11:06 AM

    Maybe Goldman needs to bring back the client huddles……

  7. Posted by Capt. Obvious | April 16, 2014 at 11:16 AM

    "lay-by"……"Horneburg"……

    Subliminal?

  8. Posted by Under Employed | April 16, 2014 at 11:20 AM

    By the way, when I'm trying to edit my comments and hit the left or right arrow buttons, the page jumps to a new Dealbreaker page. Also, I don't like having to use AOL email addresses since the comment editor demands "real " email addresses. OTTIHNC.

  9. Posted by Guest | April 16, 2014 at 11:47 AM

    Not attending USC > Owning Highly-Flammable Mobile Brothel > CFA > MBA > Referring to the University of South Carolina as "USC" > Attending USC

  10. Posted by guest | April 16, 2014 at 12:16 PM

    the comments don't require email accounts, let alone "real" ones.

    – guy who posted this without filling out the email field

  11. Posted by lucas | April 16, 2014 at 2:02 PM

    Look at the license plate on the wreck. I suspect a hoax.