Monument To Hedge Fund Manager’s Love Of Chickens Nearly Complete

And 2 years later

Crispin Odey, is close to completing a chicken coop in the style and scale of a small Grecian temple. Screened by walls and vegetation, it has been an object of mystery, though elaborate architectural drawings reveal a sweeping three-sided stairway, two dozen columns and radiating rooftop design flourishes. If nothing else, the sprawling coop, with a final cost above $250,000, has made Mr. Odey headline fodder. British tabloids called it Cluckingham Palace.

A Hedge Fund Highflier Comes Back to Earth [Dealbook]

Earlier: UK Hedge Fund Manager Sets Unreachably High Bar With Resplendent Private Residence For Chicken Friends; UK Hedge Fund Manager’s Chickens To Maintain The Lifestyle They’ve Grown Accustomed To In 2013

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25 Responses to “Monument To Hedge Fund Manager’s Love Of Chickens Nearly Complete”

  1. Beerio says:

    Matt sent me. Was not disappointed.

  2. guest says:


    -wilbur f

  3. guesticles says:

    favorite kind of dealbreaker

    • UBS Caveat quant says:

      DB is like pizza or sex: the only bad DB is no DB. Caveat: I'm not sure if that includes Shazzaratastific, but whatever.

      Other than that, no concerns

  4. Confucius says:

    True happiness can only be found at the chicken house.

    • Bandersnatch says:

      i think you mean Chicken Ranch
      – Guy just passing through La Grange, Tx

      • Confucius says:

        You dare correct Confucius?

        • Bandersnatch says:

          I'm not into that Eastern nonsense. As a Westerner, I believe in the holy trinity, separate but unseperable: Billy Gibbons, Dusty Hill and Frank Beard.

        • TheJokeBriefer says:

          Allow me to go "around the world" here in a "half and half" effort to assist Bandersnatch and Confucius.

          As Confucious famously once stated, "Woman who fly upside down have hairy crack up…" and in this case the bon mot of Bandersnatch may have appeared to do a ground loop to Confucious. We won't ever know if Confucious was referring to the famed Chicken Ranch in La Grange, TX, in 1973, when your Joke Briefer was but a young page at the Senate of the State of Texas in Austin. In that dark year, a reporter from Houston, TX went to LaGrange and discovered what every Aggie has known since 1888: Texas has a whorehouse in it! It was called the Chicken Ranch almost from the beginning because those seeking the attention of the soiled doves attending to certain needs at that location would often trade checkens for services. Your Joke Briefer is reminded of the famous punchline referring to a sexual miscommunication between a poultry purchasing investment banker and a farmer's wife that goes, "If you'll hold my cock and pullet, I'll scratch my ass!" But I digress.¹
          At this time your Joke Briefer must confess to making a visit to the Chicken Ranch. Following the sketchy directions given by a Senate warehouse employee, a carpool of frightened collegians made the tip from Austin to the south end of LaGrange, turned onto the gravel road and drove for a mile or more and came upon (pardon the expression) the aforementioned house of ill repute. We piled out of the car and went to the front door and were met by a hefty African American lady of age and experience who eyed us up and down and let us into "the parlor" where we were told to sit. It was interesting that there was a Department of Public Safety state trooper who was by the door and asked us if we were going to "behave" which we vigorously assured him that we were. There was a Greyhound tour bus in the parking lot as well and your Joke Briefer is not shitting you a pound about that! ² We were soon introduced to a lineup of 8 or so "practitioners" dressed in pant suits of the day's style who chatted among themselves as though we weren't there. Our experienced guide, a 20 year old ROTC student, told us we had to ask one of the ladies "for a date". To make a sordid story short, we had a choice of "the straight date", a "half and half" (I was so inexperienced I thought she was offering a coffee-style drink) or an "around the world" which was rumored to mean a lingual stop at a number of "locations" upon one's person. "Dates" were sought, fees were paid ($10, $15 and $20) we were taken to our rooms and peckers were washed by the practitioners and business was conducted. Then it was a long, guilty drive back to Austin while thinking of the misdeed under a bright Texas moon (pardon the expression again). Later, the Chicken Ranch was closed down as a result of Houston's Marvin Zindler and to this day the authors of Freakonomics attribute the rise in blindness among male students of Texas A&M University –starting in about 1975– to the closing of the Chicken Ranch. We must beat off the "dust of confusion" on the rug of Confucious' joke and while Bandersnatch weaved in a minor technical correction to it, the intent and purpose are to haul the ashes of jocular conflictorialality before summer becomes as hot as a four-story cat house on coupon night.

          Further readings and bibliography:
          1. "Investment Banker Becomes Farmer Jokes – 2007 to 2013" Lehman Press, page 1,204.

          2. "Times the Joke Briefer Has Shitted People a Pound", Spoor Press, page 45 (Abridged).

  5. guest says:

    when hedge fund managers, their pets, and Bess come together, magic happens.

  6. Guesto says:

    A certain scene from a movie, set in Vermont, about a band of merry lawmakers and involving a portly fellow named Farva comes to mind…

  7. Chick-fil-A says:

    why are all the chicken pun-posters cooped up today?

  8. Guest says:

    I like to imagine Odey will now spend his weekends leisurely leaning against his creation while wearing a double-breasted suit + pocket square

  9. guest says:

    can't take credit for this (it's from an old odey post) but pretty sure the sentiment stands:

    I can't believe I have to draw this fucking chicken here.

    – Architect who drafted the blueprints

  10. Ex-DB says:

    This has gone way too far into the "WTF?!?" territory