To be fair, we don’t actually know 1) how much money was raised and 2) if his friend needed a heart. It could’ve been a kidney or liver or a lung. What we do know is that U.S. District Judge Richard Sullivan was somehow unmoved by this argument, made on behalf of ex-SAC employee and convicted insider trader Mike Steinberg:

From co-founding a group that’s donated more than $8.7 million for work such as providing clean water and medicine in Africa, to raising money for a friend’s organ transplant with a bake sale, Steinberg has shown he deserves leniency at his sentencing today in Manhattan federal court, his supporters told the judge.

As a multi-millionaire– and a guy who apparently made $1.8 million in ill-gotten gains– would it potentially have been easier and faster to just give his friend who needed a kidney/heart/lung/liver the money? Sure. Does baking brownies at 1AM, shrieking and dropping the pan because you tried to take it out of the oven without oven mitts on show you really care? Apparently the answer is yes but it won’t do you much good with regard to prison.1

SAC’s Steinberg Gets 3 1/2 Years as Insider Probe Wanes [Bloomberg]
SAC’s Steinberg Pins Hope For Leniency to Charity Claims [Bloomberg]

1. Let this be a lesson.

14 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (14)

  1. Posted by guest | May 16, 2014 at 3:14 PM

    not gonna lie, those brownies look pretty tasty

  2. Posted by quest | May 16, 2014 at 3:21 PM

    how tasty are his hot buns?

    -DOC #46729945

  3. Posted by I prefer syrup | May 16, 2014 at 3:23 PM

    Lots of brownies in prison…he will be in demand

  4. Posted by guest | May 16, 2014 at 3:32 PM

    I'm sorry, I can't come up with something sarcastic. This is legitimately one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Millionaire trader raises money for his friend with a fucking bake sale? Can't make this shit up.

  5. Posted by Mike | May 16, 2014 at 3:55 PM

    So I need more deductions? Like charity? Tell me how much will lower my taxes and I'll rip off a check to African babies or clean water for dirty people or some shit like that. Give me a figure and a couple of charities and were done. Gotta go, the G-4 is at about 5000 feet and Im gonna lose cell service.

  6. Posted by Nervous Herbus | May 16, 2014 at 3:55 PM

    Paging Joke Briefer

  7. Posted by Bud | May 16, 2014 at 3:55 PM

    tell them, "super duper weenie" loves NVDA.

  8. Posted by grammar quant | May 16, 2014 at 3:58 PM

    tell them, "super duper weenie loves NVDA."

  9. Posted by Ajai Martoma | May 16, 2014 at 4:54 PM

    …*faints*

  10. Posted by AIG quant via LEH | May 16, 2014 at 4:55 PM

    more and more every day..

    – Indian wing trustee
    Butner FCI

  11. Posted by Preet Bhara | May 16, 2014 at 4:57 PM

    The dude worked at Galleon.

    He put a shiv in the fucking cake in case things went bad…

  12. Posted by Guest | May 16, 2014 at 5:17 PM

    tell 'them, super duper weenie loves NVDA".

  13. Posted by Magnolia | May 19, 2014 at 9:08 AM

    Enough with the brownie points, now it's time to point some brownies.

  14. Posted by Moar Cowbell | May 27, 2014 at 10:48 AM

    Tell them to get some DVDA