Bill Ackman Hates The Hell Out Of Herbalife Because God Damnit He Loves America

Yesterday afternoon, hedge fund manager Bill Ackman made a bold statement. A presentation delivered live in midtown Tuesday morning was to be “the most important” one of his career and at the end of it, we would “learn why Herbalife is going to collapse.” On CNBC, he acknowledged that he was “raising expectations,” but assured the public it would not be disappointed. How’d he do? That all depends on what you were hoping for. If it was a PowerPoint that convinced the market that Herbalife, Ackman’s sworn enemy, was going down for the dirt nap, then technically, the hedge fund manager probably disappointed you a little.

Herbalife Ltd.’s shares jumped as much as 14 percent after hedge-fund manager Bill Ackman struggled to convince investors that the seller of weight-loss shakes is guilty of fraud.

On the other hand, if you were hoping for a presentation filled with passion, courage, feeling, and above all, patriotism, your expectations were met and then some.

At the end of the presentation and prior to the Q&A, Mr. Ackman got emotional, appearing to show tears as he told his own family’s history of finding success and proclaimed his love of America. Then he delivered a direct message to Herbalife’s CEO, saying he hoped he was listening. “Michel Johnson is a predator. This is a criminal enterprise,” Mr. Ackman said. “It’s time to shut this company down.”

If you’re wondering why Ackman didn’t finish the event by ripping off his shirt and tie to reveal the American flag painted on his chest, there is a simple explanation, which is that he’s saving that particular flourish for the day he delivers Herbalife’s eulogy from Madison Square Garden.

Ackman’s ‘Death Blow’ Fails to Knock Out Herbalife [MoneyBeat]
Herbalife Gains as Ackman Presentation Fails to Convince [Bloomberg]

Earlier: Bill Ackman Set To Blow Your Flipping Mind On Tuesday: Bill Ackman

Related: Area Hedge Fund Manager Doesn’t Get Emotional About Investments Except The Times He Cries In Public About Them; Bill Ackman Does Not Act, Bill Ackman Feels Deeply (And Does Not Appreciate The Insinuation Otherwise, THANK YOU VERY MUCH)

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31 Responses to “Bill Ackman Hates The Hell Out Of Herbalife Because God Damnit He Loves America”

  1. Herba 4 Life says:

    Uncle Carl just put you over his knee and spanked you Billy. Stock is running like a mofo perhaps time for a short cover on say half the position while you can still walk away with some dignity? Carl hugged you cause he knew he was going to go in dry soon enough, he's probably eating this up as we speak.

    • Narcissus Bellicose says:

      It is a very different carl that actually made Billy cry. I am that carl.

  2. Screwby says:

    Semper Gumby, Bill!

  3. Michel Johnson says:

    Hey Bill: Come at me bro.

  4. Zacharelli says:

    Bill, I can see your johnson!

  5. Guest says:

    Properly managing expectations > improperly delivering death blows.

  6. Seriously Confused says:

    Wrong again, Cramey:

    • guest says:

      Bear is fine!

    • Herba 4 Life says:

      I mean does this guy have a shred of credibility left? I saw him on CNBC the other morning and he was a total spazz, he was like tweaking out almost. He has lost people more money and been wrong more times than I care to remember. I'm surprised Lloyd hash';t had him taken out after all the "when I was at Goldman Sachs" talk. Also his charitable trust must be a doozy, probably handing out cup o soups in Piscataway.

      • Rahodeb says:

        Well his fund was up 25% through June (vs. S&P +5%), and his compound annual growth rate since 2004 is 21%/yr (vs. S&P +8%), but you're right – his credibility is totes spent. Prolly oughtta pack it in; a bro on a message board called him a spazz.

        p.s. "more times than I care to remember" would be how many, exactly? Like, twice?

        • Captain Oblivious says:

          You mean the fund he left like 13 years ago? Which one turdbreath? Keep reading Wikipedia. This guy is no more than a talking head, look at all the dumb shit that has come flying out of his mouth. Go clear my trade and fetch me a vent latte ok dog boy? Thanks in advance

          • Rahodeb says:

            Well I have to say, you really got me on that one – I was getting my info from Wikipedia, I am a dog boy, and I totally clear trades for a living. Brown suit and everything!

            But yeah, having heard him present the 8-12 long positions in Pershing Square several times over the past 10 years, and his thesis on some of the various shorts (believe it or not – he prefers to keep those 20 or 30 names quiet because they tend to be small companies committing fraud and he wants the float to himself), I can assure you the man has incredibly deep insight into each of the positions in his fund. His track record speaks for itself (not that you have access to it, apparently you think he's still associated with Gotham…)

            Also, turdbreath? I mean, you're crushing my soul over here with that kind of insult.

          • Rahodeb says:

            aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I just realized you were talking about Cramer.

            Yeah, fuck that guy.

          • Captain Oblivious says:

            Your reading comprehension is also a strong suit I see. Nicely done.

    • W Tilson says:

      He should really make a PowerPoint presentation about this

  7. Carl says:

    He's done, stock is up……Who wants a weight loss shake?

  8. Alt_EST says:

    Do not look directly into the eyes of the great and terrible Ackman American Flag Turtle-Monster, for he will dissemble and haunt your dreams.

  9. Herba 4 Life says:

    I mean Einhorn is the only guy who is effective at this shit. Bill is just throwing shit at the wall and hoping it sticks. Watching two billionaires argue is great tv, like anyone gives a fuck

  10. Ack Ack says:

    Gaza = Herbalife

  11. bklnbridge says:

    So THAT's where the flags went!

  12. davidrusso says:

    This is the single best graphic in the history of this, or any site.

    Throw your digital pen on the floor and walk off the stage.

  13. guest says:

    ha bloody ha

  14. JR Wirth says:

    He was crying because he looked down at his phone and saw that the stock was up while mentally calculating his losses.

  15. Charles Ritman says:

    That is possibly the best headline I have seen ever.