Yesterday we learned that back in December, the Federal Reserve sent a letter to Deutsche Bank, telling management, in essence, that it ought to set fire to its U.S. operations and collect the insurance money, then get out of the banking business. If the powers that be at DB insisted on sticking with this thing, they’d have a lot of work cut out for themselves, as the Fed’s criticism included the words:

  • “low quality”
  • “inaccurate”
  • “unreliable”
  • “size and breadth of errors”
  • “poor data integrity”
  • “systemic breakdown”
  • “significant operational risk”
  • “misstated regulatory reports”
  • “requires wide-ranging remedial action”

Clearly, this news would be bad enough on its own, but what really tops it off is that, hilariously, Deutsche’s CFO has devoted 100 percent of his efforts to making this operation what it is today.

Deutsche Bank’s ‘s finance chief, Stefan Krause, has made an overhaul of the bank’s financial-reporting systems a cornerstone of his six-year tenure at the bank. But with U.S. authorities citing serious concerns about the bank’s financial data, Mr. Krause himself is now under pressure. An examination by the Federal Reserve Bank of New York last year found that Deutsche Bank’s giant U.S. operations suffer from a variety of serious financial-reporting problems that the lender has been aware of for years but hasn’t fixed, according to documents reviewed by The Wall Street Journal. Mr. Krause is the ultimate guardian of Deutsche Bank’s financial data and leads a companywide effort to improve the quality of its financial reporting—a project the New York Fed criticized as inadequate.

It would be one thing if DB had gotten to this point by spending 20 minutes each day just making up numbers and the rest of the time at arm-band parties, and being completely upfront during performance reviews that “we have no idea what we’re doing” but to have actually tried, hard, and had this be the result? Umständlich!

Deutsche Bank Finance Chief Faces Heat After Financial-Reporting Exposure [WSJ]

Earlier: Federal Reserve Suggests Deutsche Bank Just Scrap The Whole Thing And Start Over

10 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (10)

  1. Posted by DBMDStriver | July 23, 2014 at 12:29 PM

    Forgot about the arm band parties. Thank you for that added motivation.

  2. Posted by A. Fastow | July 23, 2014 at 12:30 PM

    Financial reporting is sacred to the investment community and, ultimately, the very nation that gives us the freedom to run and report the financial results of a business of our choosing that would honor the spirit of the laws that created such a great opportunity.

  3. Posted by Guest | July 23, 2014 at 12:37 PM

    last time the Germans were cornered, things happened.

  4. Posted by dbcfodroog | July 23, 2014 at 12:49 PM

    And would you believe it, o my brothers and only friends. There was your faithful narrator being held helpless, like a babe in arms, and suddenly realizing where he was and why home on the gate had looked so familiar, but I knew I was safe. For in those care-free days, I and my so-called droogies wore our maskies, which were like real horror-show disguises.

  5. Posted by Nervous Jew | July 23, 2014 at 1:42 PM

    Germans in corners make me very nervous

  6. Posted by Meatstick | July 23, 2014 at 2:37 PM


  7. Posted by Orifice | July 23, 2014 at 3:24 PM

    Palestinian spy!

  8. Posted by Drunk Ernest | July 23, 2014 at 3:58 PM


  9. Posted by Guest | July 23, 2014 at 10:21 PM

    Yeah, I didn't make it to the end of your first line.

    > all non-liberal arts majors

  10. Posted by Pat Swayze | July 24, 2014 at 2:27 PM

    Nobody puts DB in the corner!