As you’ve probably heard by now, hedge fund manager Ken Griffin is getting divorced, having served his wife Anne with papers at some point yesterday afternoon. So, it’s sad times at Casa de Griffin, made even sadder by the fact that the Citadel founder may be parting with a good chunk of his milkshake allowance at some point in the near future.

Oh sure, there’s a prenuptial agreement, signed in 2003 when Ken and Anne wed. And, considering that this was Ken’s second rodeo, following his divorce from his first wife in 1996, the terms of the contract were probably iron-clad and written with little leeway. But, as the Chicago Tribune points out:

A 2012 New York Post article described [Anne Dias Griffin’s attorney Robert Stephan] Cohen, who has represented Christie Brinkley, Ellen Barkin and Uma Thurman, as the “pit bull” of divorce lawyers.

While the couple has apparently been separated for about a year, an earlier report suggested that KG caught Anne off guard with the filing and, rather cruelly, on the first day of her vacation, which is just unnecessarily harsh. So if the big guy wants to play hard ball, it’s hard ball he’s gonna get. That hedge fund? She’s taking half! That title? Kiss it good-bye! Best case scenario, he’s going to be crying on Billy Joel’s shoulder somewhere on Long Island by the time she’s done with him.

Hedge fund billionaire Ken Griffin files for divorce [Chicago Tribune]

35 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (35)

  1. Posted by Guest | July 24, 2014 at 12:43 PM

    bet he had the locks changed too.

  2. Posted by HF Divorcer | July 24, 2014 at 12:44 PM

    he flips wives faster than he flips stocks.

  3. Posted by Guest | July 24, 2014 at 12:47 PM

    still has enough dosh to keep him as a billionaire after giving away half.

  4. Posted by guest | July 24, 2014 at 12:48 PM

    but still! the title! what about all those plaques he had made? think of the plaques!

  5. Posted by Gloria Alright | July 24, 2014 at 12:49 PM

    Aragon $200million at its peak? Doesn't matter. This is the best trade she's ever done.

  6. Posted by French Resistance | July 24, 2014 at 12:51 PM

    The hairy armpits will do you in every time.

  7. Posted by HarrySac | July 24, 2014 at 12:55 PM

    Served the papers to her on her first day of vacation?!?! I bet there was a strategically placed pube in those papers as well.

  8. Posted by Captain Oblivious | July 24, 2014 at 12:59 PM

    Do you think he gives a single shit?? Probably will be even more successful without this albatross around his shoulders. Marriage is the rake when are people going to learn. Till death do us part? Sure sounds fun lets do that

  9. Posted by Parabolic | July 24, 2014 at 1:11 PM

    She can lead you to love
    She can take you or leave you
    She can ask for the truth
    But she'll never believe
    And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free
    Yeah, she steals like a thief
    But she's always a woman to me

  10. Posted by Ace Hardware | July 24, 2014 at 1:11 PM

    Women are the fucking rake

  11. Posted by Guest | July 24, 2014 at 1:13 PM

    best to do this before he meets his high water mark from 2008.

  12. Posted by Guest | July 24, 2014 at 1:18 PM

    The first sentence of comment 3 in the "milkshake allowance" hyperlink pretty much sums up my take on DB lately.

    -Guy who remembers the good ol' days

  13. Posted by mrp | July 24, 2014 at 1:20 PM

    fucking gerbil.


  14. Posted by Guest | July 24, 2014 at 1:21 PM

    You had a date in a while bro? Why so angry?

  15. Posted by Guest | July 24, 2014 at 1:38 PM

    Married in Versailles, divorced in the second city. Aaahh, the NKI.

  16. Posted by CFA grader | July 24, 2014 at 1:38 PM

    This is not a true statement.

  17. Posted by Meatstick | July 24, 2014 at 1:47 PM

    Plenty of dates, with Rosie Palms.

  18. Posted by Guest | July 24, 2014 at 1:54 PM

    AD: "Hello SEC, this is Anne Dias."
    SEC: "Hold on a second, I have Patty Cohen on the other line, let me get her off."

  19. Posted by Guest | July 24, 2014 at 1:57 PM

    I think he has 2.75 billion reasons to care.

  20. Posted by guest | July 24, 2014 at 1:59 PM

    oh piss off.

    -guy who's been here since 07 and can't stand the sanctimonious bitching

  21. Posted by guest | July 24, 2014 at 2:00 PM

    why don't you ask for your money back?

  22. Posted by Guy | July 24, 2014 at 2:15 PM

    Her vacation from what?

  23. Posted by guest | July 24, 2014 at 2:16 PM

    Keep your chin up, Big K. You know when to cut your losses, unlike some other people. You can be my wingman any time.

    -Uncle Carl

  24. Posted by Skweezy Jibblets | July 24, 2014 at 2:22 PM

    Should have waited till 12/13/14. Thats when all the ballers are planning on making their moves.

  25. Posted by Guest | July 24, 2014 at 2:45 PM

    Richest Illinoisan = tallest midget

    – NYC Secure

  26. Posted by guest | July 24, 2014 at 2:56 PM

    Yeah, because with only $5.5 billion it's not like he could afford a $40M place on 5th Avenue for when he's in NY. Oh wait.

  27. Posted by Captain Oblivious | July 24, 2014 at 2:58 PM

    I like the cut of your jib

  28. Posted by Buzzard | July 24, 2014 at 3:51 PM

    who do you think the new femme is?

  29. Posted by Guest | July 24, 2014 at 4:03 PM

    Fellas, lets not fight. Chicago & New York are both world class cities. It's not like they are a steamy, souless, cubic zirconia cities like Dallas.

  30. Posted by Quant me maybe... | July 24, 2014 at 4:10 PM

    I'm gonna go with Cristina Kirchner, president of Argentina. There's something elegant about him wanting to fuck her while she's busy fucking Paul Singer.

  31. Posted by Buzzard | July 24, 2014 at 4:14 PM

    Nice. I would venture a guess that this one is a bit closer to home. Scandalous

  32. Posted by GetDisMoney | July 24, 2014 at 7:05 PM

    Chicago is not world class. Have you lived here? It's a toilet. Each year it gets worse, headed on it's way to being the next Detroit.

    It's admirable though that Griffins was able to amass that kind of wealth in Illinois, which taxes everything in sight.

  33. Posted by Waiting on Platinum | July 24, 2014 at 7:15 PM

    Pretty obvious you don't have a Dealbreaker Gold Pass.

  34. Posted by Guest | July 24, 2014 at 7:41 PM

    Who the hell starts a vacation on a Wednesday? Did Southwest have a sale?

  35. Posted by Seriously? | July 25, 2014 at 12:56 PM

    Chicago is a toilet? NYC literally smells like urine.