Like all amazing movies, miniseries, other works of art, the clip of Richard Handler accepting and taking part in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge is a slow burn to an amazing finish. Oh, to be sure, it starts out leaps and bounds ahead of any other videos of its kind: that is, in Handler’s penthouse bathroom, in front of his jacuzzi. It’s just that at every turn, it gets exponentially better, in ways you can’t imagine, ’til you’re at the end and saying to yourself, “This is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen.” Obviously, this must be watched in full, many times over the course of the day and possibly on loop and in place of whatever your firm is showing in TVs throughout the building. But, if we might, here are our favorite moments:

:01: We’re in Richard Handler’s bathroom. Why is that? Most of the head honchos taking part in this challenge (Marissa Mayer, senior execs at JP Morgan, etc) take the plunge on the street in front of their company or in someone’s backyard. No matter, here we are, in Richard Handler’s bathroom.

:05: Handler is narrating this video in his boxers and an old tee-shirt.

:12: He lays out the rules, we’re still in his bathroom.

:56: He nominates Carl Icahn to take the challenge, and Icahn’s wife to dump the ice (Icahn later takes to Twitter to say he’s too god damn busy.)

1:15: He starts ripping open plastic bags of ice and dumping them into the tub. It takes a while, because, again, he’s doing the challenge 1) in a jacuzzi and 2) in a jacuzzi that looks like it can seat 7. “It’s a lotta ice,” he tells the camera.

2:02: Even though he just dumped 8 or 9 bags of ice into the tub, he dumps a hotel-style wicker ice bucket into the bath, just for good measure.

2:10: He takes his shirt off in preparation to jump in the tub. Again, if you’ve watched these before, most people just let the ice bucket soak whatever they’re wearing that day.

2:12: He tests the water temperature with his fingers.

2:16: He jumps in, lets out a shriek, and then almost immediately and frantically looks to jump out, for some reason declining to leave from the side he jumped in and scurrying over to the other.

2:24: Hops out and proclaims “DONE,” like he just successfully swam the length of the English Channel.

Richard Handler, CEO of Jefferies, Accepts ALS Ice Bucket Challenge [YouTube]

37 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (37)

  1. Posted by merkin_capital | August 27, 2014 at 1:47 PM

    Like a frightened turtle!

  2. Posted by guest | August 27, 2014 at 1:47 PM

    fucking amazing

  3. Posted by guest | August 27, 2014 at 1:47 PM

    absolutely mesmerizing

  4. Posted by guest | August 27, 2014 at 1:47 PM

    if that tub could talk…

  5. Posted by guest | August 27, 2014 at 1:50 PM

    What a dick….handler

  6. Posted by Bejujular | August 27, 2014 at 2:06 PM

    Do CEOs know about shrinkage?

  7. Posted by guest | August 27, 2014 at 2:12 PM

    That does it! Someone get me a camera man– I'm taking my top off and doing this!
    -l. tilton

  8. Posted by guest | August 27, 2014 at 2:12 PM

    cannot stop watching

  9. Posted by Flint | August 27, 2014 at 2:14 PM

    Carl, please nominate Joe Jamail even if he says he's preoccupied.

  10. Posted by Quant me maybe ... | August 27, 2014 at 2:16 PM

    Yes, they call it "right sizing"

  11. Posted by Manhattanite | August 27, 2014 at 2:18 PM

    The saddest part is that he's in New Jersey.

  12. Posted by Guest | August 27, 2014 at 2:20 PM

    That's TriBeCa.

  13. Posted by Sad but true | August 27, 2014 at 2:21 PM

    2:16 sums up every deal ive ever worked on with Jefferies.

  14. Posted by guest | August 27, 2014 at 2:22 PM

    you're not very bright, are you?

  15. Posted by Frank Rumham | August 27, 2014 at 2:40 PM

    Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, on overnight flights to Frankfurt I cook ham in my armpits.

  16. Posted by CEO ego | August 27, 2014 at 2:53 PM

    Did you see my bathroom? the view? my pecs? how about my vineyard vine shorts?

  17. Posted by guest | August 27, 2014 at 2:53 PM

    yea and while your'e in frankfurt, im in your wife.

    now gtfo out of here.

  18. Posted by Guest | August 27, 2014 at 2:54 PM

    This spontaneous, clever, fundraising event has officially jumped the shark with this display of self involved pussiness.

  19. Posted by Guest | August 27, 2014 at 2:56 PM

    Handler and Wollensky

  20. Posted by bpf | August 27, 2014 at 2:57 PM

    FOUL!! He turns off both the hot and cold water! He is dumping ice into warmish water?

  21. Posted by Guest | August 27, 2014 at 3:01 PM

    Just like everyone whose ever done the "Ice Bucket Challenge"; pouring ice into lukewarm water

  22. Posted by Guest | August 27, 2014 at 3:03 PM

    That's nothing. I have to keep tampons in the freezer so that the fillies can walk again in the morning.

  23. Posted by Guest | August 27, 2014 at 3:09 PM

    Is this the trailer for the new season of Jersey shore?

  24. Posted by Langdon Alger | August 27, 2014 at 3:11 PM

    You roasted that annoying rumham fucker good.

  25. Posted by John Winger | August 27, 2014 at 3:11 PM

    When you opened each bag of ice one at a time and dumped them in the giant jacuzzzi?? I wanna party with you cowboy…..If the two of us get together, forget it.

  26. Posted by guest | August 27, 2014 at 3:12 PM

    never comment again.

  27. Posted by guest | August 27, 2014 at 3:13 PM

    The person who once misguidedly gave you the impression you're funny needs to be punched in the face.

  28. Posted by Chazzy G | August 27, 2014 at 3:20 PM

    While trying to get an extra juicy scoop I was once sucked off by a pool skimmer in the back of Minetta's.

  29. Posted by Guest | August 27, 2014 at 3:22 PM

    T but F

  30. Posted by randal b | August 27, 2014 at 5:12 PM

    Nice how the hot water was on while he was filling the Jacuzzi with ice…

  31. Posted by The Good Old Days | August 27, 2014 at 5:29 PM

    Can't we just go back to vending machine challenges?

  32. Posted by Guest | August 27, 2014 at 5:51 PM

    Go on…

    – JG

  33. Posted by guest | August 27, 2014 at 5:54 PM

    I nominate Lloyd for a VMC.

  34. Posted by Guest | August 27, 2014 at 8:34 PM

    This narcissistic douche probably mans scaped and worked out with his personal trainer before the big shoot.

  35. Posted by Guest | August 27, 2014 at 10:49 PM

    I wanna show you my kick ass Tribeca apartment, I wanna feign interest in ALS, I wanna name drop a bunch of CEO's, I wanna create the ultimate pussy challenge by dumping ice into my warm jacuzzi tub and finally I wanna act like a scared little girl having her first bad dream.

  36. Posted by Overcompensating | August 27, 2014 at 11:23 PM

    This guy definitely has a small penis.

  37. Posted by friv de | September 1, 2014 at 11:26 AM

    I have been waiting for someone to share this post. This has actually made me think and I hope to read more. Thanks a lot for sharing with us.