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Jeff Gundlach May Add New Title To His Résumé

Bond trader. Criminal investigator. Party planner. Art lover. Porn aficionado. NFL owner?

With the Buffalo Bills up for sale, Jeffrey Gundlach, a prominent bond investor in Los Angeles, is preparing a possible bid for the football team, according to reports in The Buffalo News. He is said to have partnered with Jim Kelly, the team’s Hall of Fame quarterback. Mr. Gundlach, the founder of DoubleLine Capital, grew up in a Buffalo suburb and has dreamed about buying the Bills in the past. He told The Wall Street Journal in 2011 that he was “thinking about” bidding for the team as part of a group…The Buffalo News, citing two unidentified sources, reported on Friday that Mr. Gundlach and Mr. Kelly had met with the trust that owns the Bills. The report said the two were hoping to join a larger bidder as minority partners.

Obviously, should Gundlach be successful in his quest to own a piece of the Bills, he’ll be far too busy to shoot an adult film based on the experience; but he has fans, and they very well may be too inspired by this jack of all trades not to capture his essence on screen and in his favorite format. They’d need to get a screenwriter involved for the dialogue, but clearly “An NFL owner whips his team into shape on and off the field” is a good place to start. Or shoot it documentary style, and let Cinemax take a run at HBO’s “Hard Knocks” with “Hard Cocks.”

Buffalo Bills Are Said to Draw Jeffrey Gundlach as a Bidder [Dealbook]

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13 Responses to “Jeff Gundlach May Add New Title To His Résumé”

  1. Guest says:

    "Hard Cocks" Its elegant and refined yet so raw.

    Thumbs up Levin!

    • Yale Fellatio says:

      I'm gunna buy the Bills, then I'm gunna date Bess. Her boyfriend, he don't know anything about her. He's too stoned, Nintendo.

  2. Circle da wagons says:

    Ok guys get out there!! I wanna see this balls deep spread formation in action!!! Pump that ball in there!!!!

    • Guest says:

      Mr Gundlach, at some point we are going to have to draft other positions besides tight end and wide receiver…

  3. Rebecca M. says:

    What kind of impact does a gimp mask have on peripheral vision

  4. Hannibal Lecter says:

    You know that he stands in front a mirror painted in Bills colors, junk tucked, saying "would you buy me? I'd buy me."

  5. Guest says:

    Did this cat have facial reconstruction surgery? His skin looks like chewed bubble yum

  6. Shaz's beard says:

    Hard cocks? I'm listening.

    -L Tilton
    -J Shazar

  7. Danker_Banker says:

    Buffalo Butt Plugs has a nice ring to it

  8. im_new_here says:

    First & Ten Inches

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