anal is the new blow job

hedges-large.jpgTrouble in the Hamptons: Kynikos manager Jim Chanos was forced–forced I tell you– to call the cops on his neighbor a complete egocentric, namely: Goldman MD Marc Spilker- yesterday when a few of JC’s shrubs trades were senselessly torn down front run in an effort on Spilker’s part to create a wider beach path greater returns for Goldman’s flagging Global Alpha.
“My outrage over this arbitrary and unilateral course of action is probably only exceeded by Mr/Mrs Spilker’s sense of entitlement that the four-foot wide path to the beach Global Alpha’s own annualized P&L gain of 5.62% (specified in the local easement papers Global Alpha PPM) ‘was just not wide high enough for us’ as he said when first broaching the subject of arbitrarily widening a path front running a set of trades,” Chanos hissed in email-form to a few friends and Goldman execs. Sealing the note with a kiss, he added: “I hope this is not a harbinger of how other Goldman senior executives may act when the markets become ‘just not lucrative enough for us!'”
Hamptons Hedges Hullabaloo [Portfolio]

cocaine_1_190.jpgWith Wall Street surging and a 24-hour global economy, young professionals have the money and the incentive to stay constantly wired.
“I do it every day,” said Kristoff, a European transplant to New York who works in finance and would not give his last name. He said he pays $150 for two grams of cocaine. “If I have to work at 6 in the morning and I have to be on top of the game, I’ll do it. I’ll take a gram of coke and make half a million dollars.”

Let’s set aside the fact that $150 actually seems a little steep for 2 grams, that the Times published a trend piece from twenty years ago, had the gall to write “Coke is the new weed,” and is utterly fucking astounded by all of the “skiing” ads placed on Craigslist, pool our efforts, and find out where Kristoff works, so we can go kill him.
Cocaine: Hidden in Plain Sight [NYT]