• 18 Jun 2007 at 2:12 PM
  • Apple

iPhone Battery To Suck Somewhat Less Than iPod Battery

Steve Jobs.jpgIn anticipation of June 29–THE DAY THE iPhone COMES OUT–Steve Jobs announced this morning that the billion dollar mobile will exceed expectations, re: only lasting 2 hours before needing to be charged and work for a whopping eight hours between charges. Of course, this estimate works under the construct that from the second you turn your phone on at make a call–one call–you can talk for eight hours. But it doesn’t take into account that you might want to make use of some of the features you paid $500 for, like sending email, listening to music– scrolling through songs, etc.
But let’s just take eight hours at face value–are we the only cynical, OCD assholes who would just as soon listen to music on iPods and email on Blackberrys (which last 16+hours), rather than pay for a screen that’ll probably go to black at the most inopportune time and that’s going to have so many finger prints on it it’ll drive us insane (and: carry 80 things at once, since most of you are contractually obligated to carry a BBerry anyway, and it’ll be a dark day in hell before the banks start issuing iPhones)? I don’t think so.
Why then, are Wall Street’s analysts calling Apple at 160 and up and predicting that the ‘Phone will sell more than 40 million in 2009, lifting revenues more than 30% and earnings by 40%? A confluence of things, including the success of the iPod and the Mac, the monetization of geekdom, a growing segment of the population united in their hate of keyboards and the fact that Jobs, despite his laid back Mock Turtleneck/sneakers/501s demeanor, is a bit of an asshole, and assholes usually get what they want.
This is neither a judgment (if you know one thing about us it’s that assholes are our heroes) nor a statement not based on fact: John Heilemann writes today in New York that the “most common descriptor applied to [Jobs], by friends and foes and even Jobs himself is ‘asshole’.” His response to the question by a Wired writer, “If you could go back and give advice to 25-year-old self, what would you say?” was “Not to deal with stupid interviews–I have no time for this philosophical bullshit.” When he was asked by US assistant attorney general Joel Klein to get involved with the antitrust lawsuit against Microsoft, he asked, “Are you going to do something serious? Or is it going to be dickless?”
Mouthing off to U.S. Attorney: Assholeish or Heroish, you make the call. (We pick: C. All of the Above, but you know how us girls are attracted to assholes). And does it make you want to buy that thing?
Apple improves iPhone battery estimates [InfoSync]
Steve Jobs in a Box [NYM]
All-in-one How Big Will The iPhone Be? [BusinessWeek]

  • 18 Jun 2007 at 8:51 AM
  • Apple

Steve Jobs Resigns!

We keep thinking it would have been better if they had mentioned backdating. But maybe that’s just us.

  • 13 Jun 2007 at 12:22 PM
  • Apple

Apple’s iPhone Only Has One Button!

appleiphoneengadget.jpgIn a new controversy for the most contentious product untouched by human hands, the New York Times reports today that the conspicuous absence of a mechanical keyboard on Apple’s iPhone (to be released June 29) may turn potential users away. The iPhone has a single button with tactile response and all typing is done by “pecking” on the 3.5 inch screen. Despite Steve Jobs’ reassurances, some are concerned that consumers won’t have the patience for the iPhone’s multitouch technology.
Sky Dayton, CEO of the rival Helio said, “There has never been a massively successful consumer device based solely on a touch screen.” Mumbling beneath the marketing blitzkrieg, even Apple concedes that the product may take several days to learn.
But since this problem exists in reality, rather than just on the rumor-mongering internets, don’t expect the stock of Apple to tank on the news. Remember: news doesn’t matter. Only rumors do.
[Senior button correspondent Peter Ribic contributed this report while eating an Apple.]
That iPhone Has a Keyboard, but It’s Not Mechanical [New York TImes]

  • 12 Jun 2007 at 11:07 AM
  • Apple

Is Microsoft about to be mauled by a Safari animal (not a Leopard)?

cougar.jpg Steve Jobs announced yesterday that Apple is going to release a new version of its Safari web browser that runs on Windows. The free downloadable test Windows version of Safari on Apple’s website is still laden with glitches, according to initial Wall Street Journal reports. Safari commands 5% of the web browser market, lagging well behind Internet Explorer (78%) and Firefox (15%).
The other developer creamcicle-worthy announcement made by Jobs is that Apple plans on letting programmers create software for the iPhone, although through the iPhone’s version of the Safari browser.
Even though Apple has everyone on Safari, it doesn’t want you to see the Leopards. Jobs announced that Apple will delay the launch the Leopard OS for Macintosh until October. The Leopard was originally scheduled to be unleashed this month.
Apple to Move Deeper Into Microsoft Turf With Windows Browser [Wall Street Journal]

  • 30 May 2007 at 1:29 PM
  • Apple

How do you like them sometimes rotten apples?

rotten apple.jpg It’s refreshing to see, at least for anyone who prefers a little balance in the technological world order, that not everything Apple touches turns to gold, which has been the case since the iPod (although the Power Mac Cube was shelved just as the iPod was launching in 2001). The Apple TV, which is a $300 doorstep, furniture leveler or sushi platter according to Fortune’s Brent Schlender, is Apple’s very own Zune, crammed with features that are unusable because of compatibility issues and lacking common sense controls – like a volume gauge on the remote. Schlender points out that the advertising push for the Apple box in the very medium it’s trying to transform is non-existent and that Steve Jobs would rather talk about his ignorance of options dating practices than the Apple TV.
Although computing giants still pursue the holy grail of Web/TV integration, the real changes in TV have come from complimentary hardware (DVR) or the displacement of content across an already established medium (video sharing with high speed internet connections). This gives Apple a 1-1-1 record when it comes to transforming media platforms, with its overwhelming victory in shaping the way we listen to and store music, a trip back to the drawing board with a clunker of a TV set, and a push when it comes to home-computing (I don’t think OS counts as defining the home computing platform, despite what Apple enthusiasts will tell you).
The debate rages over Apple’s effect on wireless communication with the arrival of the iPhone next month. Will the device be another example of battery gobbling feature creep or compatibility turmoil, or will the iPhone finally integrate music, video and phone in a user-friendly way?
Apple (AAPL) shares are up more than 2% today, shooting past the $115 mark to a new 52-week high.
The trouble with Apple TV [Fortune via CNN]

  • 25 May 2007 at 1:25 PM
  • Apple

AAPL Looking To Crack Above $115

Things that had no effect on Apple’s share price: Jobs’s backdating, the iPhone-Engadget blooper, Portnoy fucking (an) Apple.

  • 17 May 2007 at 11:07 AM
  • Apple

Engadget-Apple Affair Fallout

appleiphoneengadget.jpgCalls have started to go out for the Securities and Exchange Commission to investigate yesterday’s Engadget-Apple Affair. Shares of Apple were down nearly 3% yesterday—taking something like $4 billion off the companies capitalization—after the tech blog Engadget reported product delays for the iPhone and a new Mac operating system. The blog later had to retract the story, calling it a “false alarm,” after Apple issued a definitive statement denying the delay.
“The SEC should definitely be looking into this,” a former employee of the securities regulator told DealBreaker. “There are all sorts of reasons someone might plant this story, and it looks like it could be market manipulation.”
The former SEC staffer indicated that there are a number of ways to profit by causing a temporary drop in a company’s stock. The simplest would be to buy the stock on the dip and sell it when it recovered. A more complex reason for engineering a dip would be to cover a short position in the stock, or to cover a call. May options in Apple are due to expire on Friday, raising the possibility that the panic was intentionally set-off to game the options market.
Trading volume in Apple stock was high during the brief period when the story seems to have set off a panic. At least one trader dumped ten to fifteen million worth of the stock within fifteen minutes after the phony story was posted, according to commenters at Ars Technica (via Business 2.0). Visitors to the Yahoo message board say they have asked the SEC to investigate.
Not everyone is confident that the damage to Apple is done.
“Watching the price drop like that based on one blog story might indicate a weakness in the stock,” one trader told DealBreaker. “What if it had been true? What if there’s a fire in a factory that slows production? Apple investors seem a bit prone to panic, which would make me nervous if I were long this stock.”
At AOL’s BloggingStocks, Georges Yared voices a similar concern. “One thing is for sure. If there were a delay in the iPhone’s release date, the “expectations” of earnings beats and earnings raises would certainly get pushed out a quarter or two, so the urgency to be involved with the stock would lessen. Without the urgency factor and the “do I have a full position in Apple?” factor, the stock could lose a bit of its momentum and could be stuck in a trading range until definitive details and schedules are known,” Yared writes.

  • 16 May 2007 at 4:52 PM
  • Apple

Engadget Takes A Bite Out Of Apple

appleiphoneengadget.jpgApple shares took a nose dive earlier today on news it was about to announce delays for the release of both its new operating system and the iPhone. The only problem is that the story wasn’t true.
At eleven minutes to noon today Engadget, a popular tech blog, posted an item claiming that the iPhone, which is scheduled to be released in June, would be delayed until September. Shares of Apple promptly plummeted. Less than a half hour later, Engadget began to update the item. A representative of Apple denied the story, and Engadget labeled the delay a “false alarm.”
It seems that Engadget’s initial report was based on a email memo circulated within Apple. The email states that Apple had issued a press release announcing the delay. Commenters on the blog quickly noticed that Apple had not, in fact, issued a press release announcing a delay, raising suspicions that Engadget was a victim of a hoax. (Apple had filed an 8-K today disclosing changes in it’s employee stock option plan and making no mention of product delays.)
Shares of Apple traded heavily as word of the delay spread, at one point pushing the stock down 2.7%.
It’s still not clear how this story got started. Apple says that the email memo about the delay was a fake. Engadget, however, insists it came from a “trustworthy source” and was sent from Apple’s email server.
False alarm: iPhone NOT delayed until October, Leopard NOT delayed again until January [Engadget]