CoveredLong

Recent Comments

  1. 1
    Posted 2012-02-07 15:49:25 on Dealbreaker’s Business School Correspondent Learns A Lesson In Compelling Correspondence

    "What do I wear to a Banging Group event?!?! Should I bring my nametag?" =max(nametag, nothing)

  2. 2
    Posted 2012-02-02 15:02:22 on A Tip For Would Be White-Collar Criminals Weighing Consequences Of Playing It Fast And Loose: “Prison Is Amazing”

    Airline stocks? Where'd you learn that, Ja? Drug school? -Ghost of Landfill

  3. 3
    Posted 2012-01-18 12:20:45 on Bonus Watch ’12: JPMorgan

    This kind of pay disparity is common at UBS: NY Banker: You guys are really getting paid over two hundred thousand dollars? Brazilian Banker: Two hundred thousand - real. NY Banker: Real cash too, no stock – are you for real? Brazilian Banker: Yes, it’s real. NY Banker: Right.

  4. 4
    Posted 2012-01-13 13:20:28 on Standard & Poor’s Just Getting Started

    ...in related news the senior French government official offered no statements in defense of France.

  5. 5
    Posted 2012-01-07 17:31:50 on Write-Offs: 01.06.12

    Saying that ‘actionable ideas’ are designed to attract investors and not necessarily investment returns is like saying that vajazzling is used to attract men and not necessarily for getting pregnant. ...can't it be both?

  6. 6
    Posted 2012-01-07 17:26:40 on Occupy Wall Street Assignment Forces NYU Undergrad To Lose Her Shit Via Open Letter To School President, Demand Professor’s Resignation OR SHE GOES PUBLIC

    ...just when I thought she couldn't possibly be any dumber, she goes and does something like this... and totally redeems herself! -Harry

  7. 7
    Posted 2012-01-03 12:41:18 on Conservative CFA Seeks Employer Looking To Kill Two Birds With One Hire (Making $$$ And Taking Down Commies)

    1969....kid. Other than that, no concerns. -Freelance internet poster

  8. 8
    Posted 2011-11-29 12:52:27 on Connecticut Powerball “Winners” Go The Extra Mile

    "...wait on line to buy you a box of Cinnabons at the airport we’re flying into so you don’t have to look like the one with no self-respect" Ordering Fat Faggot Treats (yes, with the hot cum) and pretending to win the lottery is definitely the not killing it.

  9. 9
    Posted 2011-10-27 11:10:42 on Occupy Wall Street Protesters Hoping For 5-Star Meals This Weekend Will Have To Occupy A Restaurant, Says Cooking Staff

    That is my kind of justice. -A Poet

  10. 10
    Posted 2011-10-25 16:31:03 on Civil War Brewing At Occupy Wall Street

    You want me to do things to you like the sun and the moon. Idiot, I don't have time. I have too many deamon. All I have time for you know what? --------------- I just want bang bang bang.

  11. 11
    Posted 2011-10-25 08:57:46 on Opening Bell: 10.25.11

    ...in related news the Ninja Turtles have released a statement clarifying that "Cowabunga" does not refer to a bovine sex fetish.

  12. 12
    Posted 2011-10-24 14:58:56 on A Conundrum

    "Will the market fall for it?" The hell he will. Mr. Market's got a two day head start, which is more than he needs. Mr. Market's got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the situation figured out already.

  13. 13
    Posted 2011-10-21 12:47:15 on Financial Adviser’s Wife Will Remain In Zuccotti Park Giving Out Free Hugs “Forever”

    Free empathy - that's a bit extreme considering empathy's doing 25 to life.

  14. 14
    Posted 2011-10-20 16:20:43 on At Least One Bank Offering Service So Good You’ll Scream

    Huh huh, like a Sperm Bank, uh, huhhuhuh. -Butthead '93

  15. 15
    Posted 2011-10-19 10:39:10 on If You Only Read One 110-Page Presentation On Coffee Today, Make It This One

    The presentation says "short coffee", but the length of it says "long coffee".

  16. 16
    Posted 2011-10-14 11:32:32 on RBS Cancels Merriment Of Any Kind

    What does your son do at RBS? -OWS Protestor

  17. 17
    Posted 2011-10-13 17:16:05 on Collateral Damage From Occupation Of Wall Street: No Love For Bull’s Balls

    "Look at it! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, man! Let me go out there and let me get one touch of the sack, just one touch before you take me in. I mean, come on man, where I am I gonna go? Buildings on both sides! I'm not gonna paddle my way to New Zealand! Come on, compadre. Come on!" -Bodhi

  18. 18
    Posted 2011-10-13 12:40:07 on Chicago Board Of Trade Would Prefer Wall Street Protestors Not Reach Out And Touch Rick Santelli

    1. Looks like the CBOT could be in deep sit this afternoon. 2. Looks like protestors will not be standing up for what they believe in. 3. Looks like too big to fail leads to too lazy to stand. 4. Looks like I should stop before these get any less funny. /bored at work

  19. 19
    Posted 2011-10-11 12:23:11 on Confidential To Harbinger Capital Investors: Phil Has Been Working His Ass Off To Find People With An Investment Time Horizon Of Infinity. A Little Gratitude Would Be Nice.

    Any chance we can get in on this too? -Paulson Advantage Plus shareholders

  20. 20
    Posted 2011-10-07 10:40:30 on Opening Bell: 10.07.11

    They didn't go to the ALCS because Nova means "No go". -Former GM Marketing Exec