Earlier today, as in a few minutes ago, we learned that UBS announced it would claw back 2010 bonuses for senior-ranking employees in the investment bank. This may have put a damper on some people’s commute home but in happier news? Those individuals will be getting paid for last year’s work (albeit at a slightly reduced rate) and the only strings attached are that they can never leave UBS. Continue reading »
Bess Levin
Posts by Bess Levin
Charlie Gasparino: Steve Cohen Broke Bread With Chris Christie At Quality Meats Last Night
By Bess LevinNaturally, Fox Business’s Senior Steakhouse Correspondent is on it: Continue reading »
Have you always wanted to date a man works on Wall Street but found them to be a difficult subset of human to figure out? Today’s your lucky day. CNBC, for some reason, is running an “article” penned by a professional matchmaker on that very issue. Having “spent the better part of 12 years learning all the their habits, their likes and dislikes when it comes to dating,” Samantha Daniels is eminently qualified to offer the tips you need to summit your Everest. Her how-to-guide includes advice like “keep stories short and sweet because the mind of a Wall Street man is always moving so rapidly and focusing on so many different things that his attention span for social stories is very short,” “be sexy,” “don’t expect him to be romantic,” “don’t get upset if your plans get scheduled by his assistant,” “don’t work on Wall Street” (“Wall Street men tend to be attracted to women who are in industries other than Wall Street”) and:
Learn a little something about the financial markets and notice if something huge happens on a given day, negative or positive. Things like the fact that Facebook is going public is not just financial news, it’s world news and you don’t want to seem clueless if you completely missed something like that. You don’t have to become an expert but at least if you know something you can participate in a conversation with your guy. Additionally, you need to be prepared that the volatility of the markets might make your guy’s mood unpredictable, especially on a day that his personal portfolio went down dramatically.
Obviously this one here is key but it’s not enough. If you’re serious about hunting big game, if you really want to impress him with the extent to which you’ve got your finger on the pulse, you must also: Continue reading »
Breaking his silence after the furore over his near £1m bonus and Fred Goodwin’s knighthood, Mr. Hester emailed employees admitting that such political and media attention makes the job more difficult. “There is no doubt that our position in the spotlight makes the job harder. But the best way to deal with it is to prove the critics wrong. To be purposeful, calm, and do our jobs to the best of our ability…We can’t control the outside world– whether the economic environment or the political one,” Mr. Hester, who noted RBS was still in a “loss-making phase” said. “That’s not unique to us. But if ever something has been proven over our last three years of history, it’s this – we can successfully overcome great obstacles. [Telegraph]
When you’re hedge fund manager who not too long go scored returns of 590 percent and a personal payday of $3.5 billion in a single year, losing 50 percent while being forced to live off management fees can take a toll on the ego. You start questioning every move. You become plagued by self-doubt. You stop posing for photoshoots with your eyes closed and your collar up. You probably even remain silent during earnings calls, no matter how big your position in the company, for fear of people snickering and asking each other “Why is he still here?” or whispering “Two words: fake trees.” It’s a dark, deeply depressing time, one that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemies. Then you return 5 percent in a single month and BOOM! It is GAME ON. John Paulson, who seems to have regained his sea legs in time for a Q&A with Hartford Financial CEO Liam McGee this morning, knows what we’re talking about.
The short version (with regard to McGee’s apparent inability to give Paulson an answer as to what, exactly, he intends to do about the company’s stock slide): “What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it, asshole? You’re fucking shit. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid fucking cunt, you idiot? Who ever told you that you could work with men? Oh, I’m gonna have your job, shithead.” The slightly longer version:
Continue reading »
After 12 years of outstanding service, Lucas van Praag, global head of Corporate Communications, will retire from the firm at the end of March. We are pleased that Lucas will continue to provide strategic advice as a consultant to Goldman Sachs…Lucas has played a critical role in helping the firm navigate through one of the most difficult and testing environments the firm has faced, particularly during the recent financial crisis and its aftermath. His strategic counsel and deep understanding of complex issues defined his career at the firm as did his warmth, natural inclusiveness and determination in the face of relentless demands. The countless hours he spent with external constituencies was matched by the time and attention he committed to all of us, explaining and engaging on important issues and trends. Lucas was a tireless advocate and we are pleased that we will continue to benefit from his judgment and experience. Please join us in thanking Lucas for his extraordinary contributions to the firm and wishing him, Miranda and their family the best in the future. [Deal Journal, earlier]
Something you might have picked up on recently is that while UBS may possess many strengths, investment banking is not one of them. The unit’s “continued losses” were to blame for net profit falling 76% in the fourth quarter, there was the matter of their little rogue trader, and not even the higher-ups in Zurich believe in the group anymore, announcing that they’d be “scaling back on investment-banking” considerably. So it probably shouldn’t come as much of a shock that, as predicted, bonuses will be down at least 60 percent from last year, though presumably there will still be some anger and acting out to deal with from those whose compensation will take a hit. But should anyone even so much as entertain the thought of coming at i-bank chief Carsten Kengeter with their own personal shit and claims/threats they have a right mind to take that offer from RBS, know this: Continue reading »
PIMCO Pantry’s Supply Of Gourmet Popcorn In The Garbage Can-Sized Tins Will Live To See Another Day
By Bess Levin
Bill Gross’s Pimco Total Return Fund, the world’s biggest mutual fund, attracted $231 million in investor deposits in January as performance rebounded. The new money ended three straight months of redemptions from Pimco Total Return, according to data compiled by Chicago- based Morningstar Inc. Investors pulled about $3 billion from the fund in the three months ended Dec. 31, bringing withdrawals last year to $5 billion, the research firm said. The $250.5 billion Pimco Total Return has advanced 2.4 percent this year, beating 99 percent of similarly managed funds, according to data compiled by Bloomberg. [Bloomberg, related]
Today is bonus communication day at DB and while there are no specifics to be had just yet, apparently those hoping their decision to do the bare minimum last year would be handsomely rewarded were in for a disappointment. Continue reading »
Silvio Berlusconi: My 4 Year-Old Grandson Could Teach You A Thing Or Two About Picking Up Women
By Bess Levin
Watch and learn. Continue reading »
For his decision to bail out Wall Street in order to avert economic calamity during the financial crisis, Hank Paulson earned himself a few enemies. Chief among them was blogger Barry Ritholtz. In the years since Paulson has left office, The Big Picture author has had nothing but disdain for the former Treasury Secretary, described on TBP as “a god-awful jackass who oversaw the greatest theft in history, transferring trillions from taxpayers to incompetent bankers,” and who Ritholtz felt such disgust for that he would instinctively spit after uttering his name. Which is why you might want to sit down before reading about an utterly shocking reversal of opinion entitled, “My Newfound Respect For Hank Paulson.” Seriously, brace yourselves: Continue reading »
