Bess Levin

Posts by Bess Levin

  • 16 Oct 2014 at 2:36 PM

Steve Cohen Makes Money For Steve Cohen

Point72 Asset Management, AKA the hedge fund formerly known as SAC Capital, whose largest client by far is a guy who answers to the name Steve Cohen, has turned in some pretty decent performance so far this year, despite a series of events that have led it to do stuff like, among other things, monetarily compensate employees for staying on the right side of the law. Read more »

  • 16 Oct 2014 at 12:38 PM

Ill-Gotten Gain Watch ’14: Mrs. Martoma

Rosemary, wife of ex-SAC PM Mathew, wants the Feds to keep their mitts off 50% of the marital assets. Read more »

Chilton’s DLA Piper office is a modern, all-glass affair in central Washington. On a September afternoon he’s sitting behind a glossy oval desk with a red lava lamp on it, its cream-colored orbs undulate from one end to the other. Chilton’s long, white-steel hair flutters in the breeze of a nearby fan, and the lamp’s pinkish light gives him the rosy cast of a romance novel cover model. [BusinessWeek]

A former UBS AG banker gave a primer on the workings of Swiss bank secrecy to a Florida jury hearing the tax-conspiracy trial of Raoul Weil, who once ran the bank’s global wealth-management business. Hansruedi Schumacher told Fort Lauderdale jurors today that he oversaw UBS accounts for about 15,000 U.S. clients in 1999, and most were structured to cheat the Internal Revenue Service. Clients shunned calls or account statements from their Swiss bankers, preferring personal visits, usually in hotels, he said. Bankers often changed hotels to avoid suspicion from the staff. [Bloomberg]

Nice try attempting to pay employees bonuses while calling them “role-based allowances,” “role-based payments,” “a little something extra for your trouble,” etc, but the European Banking Authority is on to you. Read more »

Remember Tim Sykes? Starred in the inaugural, pre-crisis season of Wall Street Warriors, where his claim to fame was that he’d turned $12,415 in Bar Mitzvah money into “a pre-tax sum of $1.65 million”? Was named to the now defunct Trader Monthly‘s 30 Under 30 list, and subsequently disinvited to one of their party, a turn of events he did not take well? After he closed his fund– Cilantro Partners–, claiming the SEC had “fucked” him, Sykes continued to send out daily investment columns/penny stock advice/I will make you rich/what have you emails, but last night he made his return to the small screen with an appearance on Bravo’s Below Deck and thank god he did. Highlights from the episode include:

  • In addition to his 19 year-old lady friend, bringing a group of “stock trading students” on the trip with him, who all wear “Timothy Sykes” tee-shirts and tell the crew “he turned his Bar Mitzvah money into $3 million” and “he moved out of the trading world into the teaching world”
  • Refers to the crew as his “slaves”
  • Forces the crew to gather ’round while he gives them “stock lessons,” says things like “There are people out there who promise to get people rich…I back it the fuck up. I’m the fucking American Dream. That’s why I have this [takes off American flag he's been wearing as a scarf]…any questions?”
  • Takes out a stack of money and says to the captain, “Let’s talk tip. I’ve got a big wad of cash here. I planned to give you $22,000 but there were some things wrong. So out of the 22, we’re going to give you 17,” like he’s Dick from 3rd Rock From The Sun.

Read more »

  • 15 Oct 2014 at 1:22 PM

Square Footage Watch ’14: Bill Gross

Gross is reportedly losing office space faster than assets but the good news is that if he’s ever feeling cramped, he can take a quick walk over to his old digs and stretch his shit out, assuming his old Pimco ID still works, which is admittedly a big if. Read more »

Colin Fan, he of the “I have lost my patience” with you pricks video address, explains: Read more »