After two long years of a highly uncomfortable process called “cross-ruffing,” today is the day a small group of Goldman Sachs employees’ lives will be forever altered. In addition to the physical change that will result from the new partner status– their genitals will now a emit a light similar to that of a glowing orb, visible through dress pants– here’s what else the young princes and princesses of West Street can expect:
A call from on high.
Sandwiches in a conference room.
The ability to get anyone you want on the phone without having to resort to groveling.
A new expectation– because of the bags of money– that you’ll be available to the firm, which can track your movements via the GPS installed in your golden scrot, at any time.
Traders worked together to “whack” the market, called themselves a “cartell” and congratulated each other for a job well done, according to transcripts released by regulators today. “Ok, i got a lot of euros,” a currency trader at JPMorgan Chase & Co. (JPM) said in an undated 3:51 p.m. message to his counterpart at Citigroup Inc. (C) A minute later he says, “tell you what, lets double team it.” Dozens of chats spanning four years from 2008 and rife with misspellings were released by regulators as they reached the first settlements in the global probe into the manipulation of foreign-exchange benchmarks. Citigroup, JPMorgan, Royal Bank of Scotland Group Plc, HSBC Holdings Plc (HSBA) and UBS (UBSN) AG were ordered to pay about $3.3 billion. The banks said in statements today that they have been working to improve controls and don’t tolerate such behavior…Breaches of client confidentiality and inadequate chat-room supervision are at the heart of regulators’ findings in the foreign exchange probe that commenced over a year ago. [Bloomberg]
Is Duke’s Fuqua School of Business the best business school in the country? According to BusinessWeek, which has jumped on the ranking of MBA programs bandwagon, yes. Obviously, many of you are going to have thoughts about this as well as other things on the list that may have touched a nerve (perceived slights like finding out your alma mater is not in the top ten or making the top three but having to suffer the indignity of an inferior institution being too close for comfort). We’re listening.
20. University of Virginia, Darden School of Business
19. University of California, Berkeley, Haas School of Business
18. Emory University, Goizueta Business School
17. University of Maryland, Smith School of Business
16. Indiana University, Kelley School of Business
15. Dartmouth College, Tuck School of Business
14. Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Sloan School of Management
13. Cornell University, Johnson Graduate School of Management
12. University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, Kenan-Flagler Business School
11. University of California, Los Angeles, Anderson School of Management Read more »
“It created an uphill battle for me,” the owner of the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks said of the nearly five-year SEC battle in private testimony obtained by The Post through an FOIA request. Cuban bid $1.3 billion to buy the Chicago Cubs in 2008, around the same time the SEC publicly accused the “Shark Tank” judge of avoiding a $750,000 loss through improper sales of Internet company Mamma.com. Cuban wasn’t selected to participate in the final bidding round for the Cubs in early 2009. He blamed the SEC for the loss in October 2009 in testimony with the commission’s then-inspector general, David Kotz, who was investigating Cuban’s allegations that the SEC mishandled his case. Cuban told Kotz that the SEC case also cost him a TV opportunity with reality TV producer Mark Burnett, known for “The Voice” and “Shark Tank.” He also said he was hurt in other ways, including getting heckled at Mavs games by kids, who stood behind him chanting “Insider trading!” [NYP]