Remember Tim Sykes? Starred in the inaugural, pre-crisis season of Wall Street Warriors, where his claim to fame was that he’d turned $12,415 in Bar Mitzvah money into “a pre-tax sum of $1.65 million”? Was named to the now defunct Trader Monthly‘s 30 Under 30 list, and subsequently disinvited to one of their party, a turn of events he did not take well? After he closed his fund– Cilantro Partners–, claiming the SEC had “fucked” him, Sykes continued to send out daily investment columns/penny stock advice/I will make you rich/what have you emails, but last night he made his return to the small screen with an appearance on Bravo’s Below Deck and thank god he did. Highlights from the episode include:
- In addition to his 19 year-old lady friend, bringing a group of “stock trading students” on the trip with him, who all wear “Timothy Sykes” tee-shirts and tell the crew “he turned his Bar Mitzvah money into $3 million” and “he moved out of the trading world into the teaching world”
- Refers to the crew as his “slaves”
- Forces the crew to gather ’round while he gives them “stock lessons,” says things like “There are people out there who promise to get people rich…I back it the fuck up. I’m the fucking American Dream. That’s why I have this [takes off American flag he's been wearing as a scarf]…any questions?”
- Takes out a stack of money and says to the captain, “Let’s talk tip. I’ve got a big wad of cash here. I planned to give you $22,000 but there were some things wrong. So out of the 22, we’re going to give you 17,” like he’s Dick from 3rd Rock From The Sun.