Equity Private

  • News

    Too Small To Fail(ed States)

    Liechtenstein, and its citizens, have long been more than a little strange. All microstates are a little strange, being, like Liechtenstein the, polar political opposite of failed states. Failed states are plagued by institutions too weak to prop up the flaccid rule of law, and thereby permitting “shadow institutions” (the black market, organized crime, official […]

    / Aug 11, 2009 at 2:14 PM
  • News

    Spin The Bottle

    Someday Poland will grow up and realize that issuing more debt, not selling assets, is what modern economies do during a fiscal crisis. Don’t worry though, Poland, we will still be around when you decide to join the cool kids debtors club. Poland’s Cabinet approved a plan to sell stakes in state-owned companies including KGHM […]

    / Aug 11, 2009 at 1:25 PM
  • News

    Some Kind Of Urgency

    Caught by one of our readers, this month’s version of “juxtapositional comedy” care of the Wall Street Journal: In Today’s Paper [The Wall Street Journal]

    / Aug 11, 2009 at 12:50 PM
  • News

    Department of Housing and Urban Development Is Calling A Real-Estate Bottom

    That’s the most obvious interpretation of the news that Westchester Country ($116,916 median household income to a New York and United States average of $51,001 and $61,117 according to the 2000 census) agreed to build a slew of “affordable housing” in a settlement with the Department of Justice and HUD over Westchester’s supposed failure to […]

    / Aug 11, 2009 at 10:55 AM
  • News

    GM And eBay

    As Dealbreaker readers will already been keenly aware, American automotive firms have been beset by difficult market conditions including too many customers, too few customers, high material prices, low material prices, insufficient resale value, excessive resale value. You will be happy to know that the management team has been working overtime and come up with […]

    / Aug 10, 2009 at 5:54 PM
  • News

    State Of The State Street

    There is this recursive sort of double-take one does on learning that a firm is on the verge of exhausting its legal reserve. First, that the firm needed a large legal reserve. Second that it was exhausted. Third, that “large” in this instance is $650 million. Whoosh! Somewhere there is a fantastic punch line in […]

    / Aug 10, 2009 at 3:23 PM
  • News

    Dealers Just Can’t Catch A Break

    New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo is shocked, shocked to discover that misleading advertising is going on in here. Sell too few cars? Get dropped. Sell too many? Get dropped. Turn around and start issuing misleading advertising New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo today told 40 auto dealers across the state to stop issuing misleading […]

    / Aug 10, 2009 at 1:19 PM
  • News

    Leave Lenny Ah-lone!

    Don’t get us wrong. We know where our bread is buttered. But, that said, there seems to be a lot of piling on going on. For instance: George Griffith of the trustee’s office said Dykstra signed a “real property questionnaire under penalty of perjury,” claiming insurance on the mansion did not expire until December. But […]

    / Aug 10, 2009 at 11:55 AM
  • News

    Pequot Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving

    Amusingly, it wasn’t 6 months ago that Pequot managed to capture the much-coveted “probably won’t go under” award (technically the “Pulliamp-Strasburg Likely Survivors Amid Turmoil in the Industry” award) issued by the Wall Street Journal to the most middling hedge-fund. More amusingly, it only three months and change from there before Samberg had “…concluded that […]

    / Aug 10, 2009 at 10:47 AM
  • News

    SPECIAL OBVIOUS REPORT: Cocaine Contributing Factor In Death Of OxyClean® Guy

    CNN is reporting that the Hillsborough County, Florida medical examiner has listed Cocaine as a contributing factor in the death of Billy Mays. Who knew? The situation is fluid. (Embalming). Autopsy: Cocaine a factor in Billy Mays’ death [CNN] Related:

    / Aug 7, 2009 at 8:13 PM
  • News

    Presented Without Comment

    A California man was charged Thursday with bilking investors of $3.3 million while posing as an Oscar-winning designer of sound effects. Investigators say Carrington used some of the proceeds of his crimes to buy a 2003 Lamborghini Murcielago, a 2005 Hummer H2 and a 2006 Mercedes SL500R, with a combined value of almost $500,000, the […]

    / Aug 7, 2009 at 6:41 PM
  • News

    Dodd Just As Entitled To Private, VIP American Dream Of Home Ownership As Towns, Damnit!

    The Senate Ethics Panel says so. So there. Ok, they had some other notes to add too, but no one is trying to take the Dream away. No one: But in absolving Mr. Dodd, the chairman of the Senate Banking Committee, the Senate Select Committee on ethics said he should have shown better judgment in […]

    / Aug 7, 2009 at 3:31 PM
  • News

    Even Members Of The House Oversight And Government Reform Committee Are Entitled To The American Dream Of Home Ownership

    And so why should we find it even remotely alarming that Rep. Edolphus Towns (D-NY) would be a member of the VIP lending program at Countrywide? (If, in fact, he is). He seems to be: A powerful House Democrat who has turned down a Republican’s call to subpoena records of a mortgage program at Countrywide […]

    / Aug 7, 2009 at 1:52 PM
  • News

    Voodoo Economics Gets Stein Canned

    Imagine for a moment, on some overlooked island chain in the heart of the South Pacific, an otherwise obscure tribe has lived quietly for hundreds of years. Suppose further that their culture happens to have 27 different words for the concept of “Irony,” each possessed of a fantastically unique and nuanced umbra of distinctive interpretation. […]

    / Aug 7, 2009 at 10:40 AM
  • News

    Presented Without Comment (Except The Unbridled Laughter You Hear In The Background)

    Fannie Mae is seeking an additional $10.7 billion in government aid after posting another massive quarterly loss as the taxpayer bill from the housing market bust keeps growing. Fannie Mae seeks $10.7B in US aid after 2Q loss [Associated Press]

    / Aug 6, 2009 at 6:55 PM
  • News

    Park The Car In Harvard Yard We’re Going To A Party

    Obviously, bold displays of ostentatious wealth, power, elitism, or exclusivity seem misplaced in the present environment. So much so that one wonders if, some years hence, we might not look back on this period as the “anti-too-big-to-fail” period. Or the “anti-big” period. Or the “anti-too” period. Or just a reactionary spasm of frothing (and highly […]

    / Aug 6, 2009 at 6:32 PM
  • News

    Take The Plunge

    Profiling Abby Joseph “The Oracle” Cohen’s fall out of the financial cheerleading tree, CNBC’s JeeYeon Park managed to hit (and break) every metaphoric branch on the way down. Between the two of them, no rhetorical equity booster is left unbowed, including: “…held up during the difficult portion of the recession.” (It being all behind us […]

    / Aug 6, 2009 at 4:41 PM
  • News

    French Insider Traders Fart In Your General Direction

    True, French bankers are masters of the disdainful frown, delivered with great poise and bitterness even when breaking the news that the client’s entire fortune was, in fact, invested with Bernie Madoff. But even among these captains of the curmudgeon, occasionally a standout emerges. In the case of the SocGen insider trading probe, we are […]

    / Aug 6, 2009 at 2:52 PM
  • News

    Snowball’s Future Is Secure

    Hank has managed to grease the requisite regulatory palms to get out from under the thumb of that whole unpleasant AIG business you may have heard about. (Vicious lies!) More importantly, Snowball will not have to worry about being the ward of some stranger during any sort of incarceration for Hank. Bloomberg explains: Maurice “Hank” […]

    / Aug 6, 2009 at 12:55 PM
  • News

    Brazil’s Geithner

    Tax evasion, insider transactions, Oil, Senate committees, potential corruption. Could be a prime-time dramatization of the Tim Geithner story (true, we haven’t found the Turbo Tax angle yet, but give the story some time to germinate), or just another bit of BRIC background noise. Petroleo Brasileiro SA, struggling to meet output targets and finance a […]

    / Aug 6, 2009 at 11:42 AM
  • News

    Foreign Corrupt Practices Act: Herbicide For Green Shoots

    How the hell are we supposed to mount a recovery if we can’t grease a few palms here and there? And, if that isn’t enough, keeping businesses honest abroad might create a split-world economy. Black and white. Bribery friendly, and otherwise. Since bribery is such a complex and opaque topic, we decided to take a […]

    / Aug 6, 2009 at 9:23 AM
  • News

    Limitless Limits From SheBair

    How do you limit executive compensation without politically difficult limits? Don’t use limits, of course. Thanks SheBair! We were worried there for a minute! Banking agencies should become more active in setting compensation standards that are “principles-based” without setting specific amounts for pay, Bair said today in an interview with Bloomberg Television in Washington. How […]

    / Aug 5, 2009 at 5:56 PM
  • News

    Get Naked (Shorts)

    Fans of enemies of naked shorting, rejoice. Settlement (no admission of guilt, innocence, neutrality, etc.) for the first enforcement actions brought for the vile enemies of all Christian civilization is at hand. Hazan and the company were accused of betting that share prices would fall without borrowing and delivering the shares, the SEC said in […]

    / Aug 5, 2009 at 5:32 PM
  • News

    Full Faith And Credit Ratings

    How excited are you by the prospect that the Treasury might regulate credit ratings? Us either. And, as it happens, even the Treasury isn’t so keen on the idea. To wit: The Obama administration is resisting calls to get involved with ensuring that credit ratings are reliable and said on Wednesday this would force investors […]

    / Aug 5, 2009 at 2:37 PM
  • News

    He Was Wearing My Harvard Tie. Can You Believe It?

    Poor, poverty-stricken Harvard. Gazing at 30% losses for their latest fiscal year and the tatters of a management team for the endowment, it is unsurprising that they would start trying to fill the ranks. You have to like their chances. It would be pretty hard to look all that bad given the endowment’s recent performance, […]

    / Aug 5, 2009 at 1:10 PM
  • News

    Let’s Do The Time Warp Again

    This time with Lenny Dykstra and Ron Insana as our hosts. LongShortTrader has a piece on the investment masterminds taking credit in their “The Street” newsletters for calls made before they had “The Street” newsletters. Says LongShortTrader: It’s not the most accurate title in the world, but Lenny Dykstra’s former and Ron Insana’s current newsletters […]

    / Aug 5, 2009 at 12:05 PM
  • News

    Goldman Wishes You’d Please Turn Off That Damn Light.

    If Goldman reminds you just now of that exhibit at the zoo with all the dark red lights, like the school darkroom but with signs that read “No Flash Photography – Nocturnal Exhibit,” you aren’t alone. For a firm that desperately wants to slide back into the warm cape of the dim, Goldman is getting […]

    / Aug 5, 2009 at 10:22 AM
  • News

    Sergey Aleynikov Holds All The Cards (No, Really).

    I mean, seriously. For a guy who spilled everything and talked for four straight hours to the FBI before even saying the word “lawyer” in passing, for that kind of nightmare client, Sergey’s lawyer is doing pretty well. Of course, when you factor in the seriousness of any public relations mess created by a Sergey […]

    / Aug 4, 2009 at 4:42 PM

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