Equity Private

  • News

    U.S. v. U.K. Cagematch Continues

    Just in case you had not yet gotten your fill of the Cross Pond Classic, another event is introduced: The 400 meter stress-test hurdles. GO! Analysts Olivia Frieser and Andrea Cicone concede the test is a “real one”, in so far as the parameters – 12 per cent unemployment, 50 per cent fall in house […]

    / May 28, 2009 at 3:16 PM
  • News

    Carlyle To Suck It (Natashas To Saturate Available Credit)

    The Vuitton, Versace, Gucci, and Dior bags will have to wait, or slip into a slipping revolver, we suspect, as Carlyle group finally admits it got tagged. Takes a lot for a private equity firm to admit to such things without lots of excuses about being on the left side of the “J curve.” We’re […]

    / May 28, 2009 at 2:30 PM
  • News

    Ira Sohn Conference

    We are sure you’re like us and just skip to the David Einhorn section when it comes to the Ira Sohn Conference notes that Zero Hedge has posted, courtesy of BTIG’s Mike O’Rourke. Here’s the take on Einhorny: The theme of Davd Einhorn’s presentation was the curse of the AAA. Obama administration is following the […]

    / May 28, 2009 at 12:03 PM
  • News

    Tips For Tim

    Is anyone else looking forward, really looking forward to The Safecracker’s Beijing trip next week? We certainly are. Reuters says this: U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner has a chance next week to persuade anxious Chinese authorities their investments in huge and growing volumes of U.S. debt securities are safe and sound. His visit to Beijing […]

    / May 28, 2009 at 11:21 AM
  • News

    We Have The Agreement Of (20% Of) The Unsecured Debtholders!

    In the latest GM clusterfuck drama, the Wall Street Journal flashes the pressing news that a group of unsecured GM noteholders has agreed to the latest 10% debt for equity swap amusement. Outstanding work guys and gals! How many votes have you got in the bag? We have been informed by the advisors to the […]

    / May 28, 2009 at 10:47 AM
  • News


    The new surge in government jobs combined with the sudden shortage of finance positions was bound to create some interesting secondary effects. A great deal of interest in positions at the IRS and SEC, for instance. But there are a number of three letter agencies boosting their hiring in expectation of ballooning budgets. It shouldn’t […]

    / May 28, 2009 at 9:41 AM
  • News

    Presented Without Comment: No, That’s Not A Joke

    Steven Rattner, head of the U.S. Treasury Department’s automotive team, has a net worth of at least $188 million and held shares in an investment fund run by the majority owner of Chrysler LLC, according to his financial- disclosure statement. Rattner, co-founder of Quadrangle Group LLC, also bet as much as $150,000 on General Motors […]

    / May 27, 2009 at 5:47 PM
  • News

    CNBC: Pequot To Perish

    Pequot Capital Management begins the several month-long wind-down. Conspiracy Update: Related? N.Y. Cuts Pension Ties to 10 Fund Managers, Report Says Four of the 10 firms that it has severed ties with were listed, but not charged, in an indictment brought by Mr. Cuomo’s office against two top associates to Alan Hevesi, the former comptroller, […]

    / May 27, 2009 at 5:10 PM
  • News

    Auction Time

    Some nice suggestions from Donald Marron to end the tyranny of the TARP, but we despair that they shall ever come to pass. Treasury should give up on negotiated sales and simply auction the warrants it received through its TARP investments. Auctioning the warrants will: * Enhance the transparency of the process (since no one […]

    / May 27, 2009 at 4:40 PM
  • News

    Sunny Climates Attract Shady Characters

    It is an often forgotten fact that the United States is among the minority as a country that taxes citizens on their world-wide income. It is not self-evident that U.S. based corporations should pay tax on foreign income. This is certainly not some kind of global consensus, after all. So it is a tad annoying […]

    / May 27, 2009 at 2:31 PM
  • News

    Mark Cuban To Fly Free (According To His Attorneys)

    We are not Cuban fans. This should come as no surprise to long-time Dealbreaker readers. Be this as it may, we cannot, without comment, let pass the noise that is the SEC’s case against Cuban for “insider trading.” In fact, we might go so far as to say that the prosecution of Cuban is demonstrative […]

    / May 27, 2009 at 1:07 PM
  • News

    The Import Of Latvian Prostitutes

    Forget the Case Shiller Index. Baltic Dry Index? Old news. Hemline analysis? Forget it. For real, serious metrics you have to think out of the box (so to speak). You have to consider the plight, for instance, of Latvian hookers. Yes we are serious. So is Bloomberg. When the economy starts to lift itself out […]

    / May 27, 2009 at 12:01 PM
  • News

    I’ll Gladly Pay You Tuesday…

    The most striking part about this particular development is how totally unstriking it is anymore: Some banks are prodding the government to let them use public money to help buy troubled assets from the banks themselves. Banking trade groups are lobbying the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. for permission to bid on the same assets that […]

    / May 27, 2009 at 10:21 AM
  • News

    The Unbearable Lightness Of Goldman

    Can you imagine the urgency with which Goldman will now seek to emerge from under the TARP? UBS AG, the Swiss bank which received government assistance, will stick to a policy of paying market wages after being criticized for raising salaries at its investment bank, Chief Executive Officer Oswald Gruebel told employees. “We have to […]

    / May 26, 2009 at 5:57 PM
  • News

    We Are Not Changing The Rules

    Farewell, poor Connecticut, we barely knew ye. Next stop: Vegas, baby. Prompted by the Bernard Madoff investment scandal and other financial failures, Democratic senators called Tuesday for Connecticut to become the first state in the nation to require more disclosure and transparency for hedge funds, private-equity firms, and venture capitalists. Led by Senator Bob Duff […]

    / May 26, 2009 at 5:18 PM
  • News

    You Drop The Bomb On Me, Baby

    After Einhorn’s Lehman pan last year, the Ira Sohn Research Investment Conference is sure to be a madhouse this time around. Tomorrow. Time Warner Center. $2,000 a head. Don’t whine. Times may be tough but you are getting some hot hedge fund manager action for the price of a weekend supply of mid-budget hooker and […]

    / May 26, 2009 at 3:49 PM
  • News

    Love Is In The Air: Mergers And Acquisitions Is Back!

    It’s been quite a while since we read the Times wedding section and proceeded to callously and unjustifiably assign a random “market value” to complete strangers by virtue of the fact that they work in the finance industry, hasn’t it? But it’s time we had some fun again and we can think of no greater […]

    / May 26, 2009 at 1:51 PM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 05.26.09

    US Cracks Down On Corporate Bribes (WSJ) “At least 120 companies are under investigation, according to Mark Mendelsohn, a deputy chief in the Justice Department division overseeing the prosecutions, up from 100 at the end of last year.” Ackman Pledges To Hold Target Shares For Five Years (Dealbook) That’s how much he loves this company. […]

    / May 26, 2009 at 7:46 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 05.21.09

    S&P Lowers Britain’s Debt Outlook (WSJ) S&P has lowered the outlook from stable to negative on public debt concerns (now approaching 100% of GDP), giving warning to the central bank that they need to step in to curtail the practices. S&P has noted that they’re not likely to downgrade soon, but rather that a downgrade […]

    / May 21, 2009 at 8:15 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 05.20.09

    Banks Use Life Insurance To Fund Bonuses (WSJ) “Banks are using a little-known tactic to help pay bonuses, deferred pay and pensions they owe executives: They’re holding life-insurance policies on hundreds of thousands of their workers, with themselves as the beneficiaries. […] Bank of America Corp. has the most life insurance on employees: $17.3 billion […]

    / May 20, 2009 at 7:45 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 05.19.09

    MS, JPM, and GS Looking To Repay TARP (Bloomberg) The big three are looking to return the loot, and have filed to do so with proper authorities (they’re seeking the permission of the Federal Reserve, which is not only necessary but important). The combined hand back would total about $45B, which should leave taxpayers elated. […]

    / May 19, 2009 at 7:55 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 05.18.09

    Did Investors Know About Madoff’s Scheme? (WSJ) The Journal is looking into whether or not it’s possible some of the investors (philanthropic ones, no less) could have, or in fact did, know about Madoff’s little secret. Among the evidence pointing to the answer being yes: in certain cases they would define their earnings expectations, and […]

    / May 18, 2009 at 7:53 AM
  • News

    Hey, Why Don’t We Muck With Their Board?

    Oh dear. What’s next? I have an idea, how about you just nationalize the damn thing and stop pretending so as to avoid offended relatives of Ken Lewis? Can we finally dispense with the fiction that these are viable, private companies? Federal officials have pressured Bank of America Corp. to revamp its board by bringing […]

    / May 15, 2009 at 9:39 AM
  • News

    The Backlash Starts In Europe

    It has been quite puzzling that the Sterling and the bond market in the United Kingdom have not completely given way given the outlandish spending and painfully serious fiscal crisis on the big island. The Wall Street Journal’s Simon Nixon thinks he knows why. The market has, according to the Journal, effectively concluded that Gordon […]

    / May 15, 2009 at 9:15 AM
  • News

    Breaking: CBS Reporting Two SEC Lawyers Under Insider Trading Investigation

    Accusations against the two lawyers – a man and a woman whose names have not been released – are detailed in a report by the SEC inspector general obtained exclusively by CBS News. The report, based on a review and analysis of “more than two years of e-mail and brokerage records,” puts increased pressure on […]

    / May 14, 2009 at 7:08 PM
  • News

    Bought The Waiver

    You will recall, no doubt, our puzzlement at the recent payment by Goldman to make “go-away” with this subprime business (in Massachusetts anyhow). We are even more puzzled now that Bloomberg is reporting how little Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley had on Goldman: The big news from Goldman and Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley this […]

    / May 14, 2009 at 5:19 PM
  • News

    The (Pinhole Camera) Light At The End Of The Tunnel

    Despair not, Friends of Bernie. Checks are headed your way. At least, that’s the rumor. Yes, true, they might not be quite as large as you were expecting, or hoping, or wishing for, but a check is a check- but we post our checks from the phone company for lost quarters as soon as possible, […]

    / May 14, 2009 at 4:39 PM
  • News

    Economists See Long Road to Recovery (Sort Of)

    Green shoots or not, recovery is not quick or easy, at least if the survey by the Wall Street Journal bear any weight. (Or at least, bear more weight than the Administration). To wit: Economists in the latest Wall Street Journal survey see an end to the recession by autumn, but say it will take […]

    / May 14, 2009 at 2:45 PM

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