Since Bill Gates handed over the reigns to Steve Ballmer, Microsoft has been searching for a polarizing figure to become synonymous with the brand. Somebody that can compete with Steve Jobs and Apple, become the face of the franchise, and stand for everything the company believes in. To help promote the release of Windows 7, Microsoft may have finally found who they’ve been looking for: the Griffin family.

Taking its inspiration from Texaco Star Theater, a Milton Berle-hosted 1950s variety show that was television’s first big hit, the computer giant is teaming with “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane to sponsor a 30-minute show to air on the Fox network next month.
The show will run without commercials, and promises to feature “unique Windows 7-branded programming that blends seamlessly with show content.”

With any luck, in a few short months the addition of the Griffin household to the Microsoft team will allow Steve Ballmer to kick back and declare ‘victory is mine’. And celebrate by enjoying a piece of his favorite pie. Heavy on the Cool Whip.

Timmy G must be longing for the days when all he had to answer for was being tricked by Turbo Tax into not paying his taxes. According to Neil Barofsky, TG already has $168 million in AIG retention bonus dirty money on his hands and is on pace to add $198 million more. The rage stems from last March when “a failure of oversight by Treasury” led to multi-million pay days for executives of bailout champion AIG. But that was March when everybody was worried about Dow 5,000, not breaking out the confetti in celebration of Dow 10,000. This was back in the day when some people thought the economy really was going off a cliff. It’s not like he really had the time to deal with minor details like who at AIG was being paid what.

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One of the many lessons Bernie left behind is that it pays to hedge. It helps to prevent mild irritants like losing everything you had when the guy you entrusted all of your assets to turns out to be more of a masterful liar and thief than an investment demigod. But if you elected not to hedge the first time around, you probably will the next time. Two people burned by King Ponz have apparently learned their lesson and are hedging their exposure to the next phase of the Madoff saga, the lawsuit free-for-all.

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It’s not just the Wall St/Main St. strife creating a cleavage issue. There is a revolution brewing. Battles lines are being drawn in the sand. Personal legacies are on the line. Indeed, some states believe that the time has finally come to test whether or not the recovery can walk on its own two legs without its PR firm cheering it on. The time has come to stop the stimulus signs.

“The more we reflected on it, the more we realized they were absolutely right: it’s not the best use of the money,” said (press secretary for the Georgia Department of Transportation David) Spear, who added that the decision would save tens of thousands of dollars that could be spent on more construction work.

But surely there must have been some method to the madness of carpet bombing the country with $1200 a piece signs.

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Goldman’s chief economist may call for a collective deep breath when it comes to the costs of the financial crisis, but for the EU, the collective itself may be the problem over the coming years. The European Commission has raised the deficit alert level for the U.K., Spain, Ireland, Greece and Latvia to “serious concern” for their efforts trying to avoid a complete economic meltdown. Having avoided disaster for now, the fiscal five of concern now get to focus on their new status quo in which “avoiding exponentially increasing debts is a policy challenge already in a medium-term perspective.” While a situation like that could also be an issue for the US, unless we’re going to potentially kick states out of the union for piling on obscene levels of debt, it’s Washington’s problem. However, to keep your EU membership card, there are standards.

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Say you’ve fleeced some local banks and credit unions out of 200k. It’s not a fortune, but given how hard you had to work for it, it’ll do. But the authorities are on to you and you have to make a run for it. You decide to make a run for the border- but which border? Even though you’re in Seattle and Canada is a stone’s throw away, you decide to head for warmer weather and Mexico. You hit the border and floor it to Cancun just in time for spring break. You’ve done it. The authorities can’t find you and you’re living the life. In fact, you’re having such a good time, you want all your friends to know about it. So you update your Facebook page and throw in some pearls of wisdom you’ve stumbled upon since arriving in Mexico.

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It’s enough to send a chill up your spine. After insuring billions in mortgages approved without credit scoring standards, the FHA was confronted with a proposal not for the faint of heart. Possibly acknowledging Timmy G’s vision of the restrained American consumer of the future, Rep. Scott Garrett called for an increase in the down payment for FHA backed loans from 3.5% to 5%. Stunned at the suggestion that more money upfront might help counter the successes seen in the zero-down era, the head of the FHA, David Stevens, put any fears of a higher mortgage standards world to rest.

But Mr. Stevens warned against “jumping to conclusions” and making credit standards tighter just as some signs show that housing is beginning to stabilize in certain housing markets. “When I see members of Congress move a bill out that says raise it to 5%…I get very concerned,” he said. “It isn’t the down payment on its own that causes a default.”

Quite right. You need somebody willing to take on the risk of default, whether they know it or not. Like the taxpayer.
FHA Head Rejects Calls for Higher Down Payments [WSJ].

While the value of having a degree from Wharton is subject to debate, the value of thinking you have one and then discovering otherwise is becoming a lot clearer. Back in 2002, Frank Reynolds enrolled in a program at Penn called the Executive Masters in Technology Management, believing that Wharton’s co-sponsorship of the program meant he was destined for a degree from the business school. Having spent time, energy, and money on a program he thought would allow him to include the Wharton stamp in his business passport, Reynolds did the natural thing and sued the school when it became abundantly clear the only degree in his future was from the engineering school. A federal court jury agreed with his bait and switch contention and subsequently put a price tag on the mistaken belief of receiving a Wharton degree.

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