Ben Bernanke

Another RefreshionTM Success Story? Ben Bernanke.*

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*Beating them off WITH A STICK I tell you.

    Ben Bernanke’s Tool Kit

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    BenBernankeIsAllUpInYourHosAnd Cutting Your Interest Rates.bmp
    Hi, it’s Bess, Carney and I are tag teaming this post. Anyway, here’s my comment: HAHAHA OMG OMG OMG OMG isn’t the internet hilarious?!?!?! You are totally justified in clogging up your friends/colleagues/Dealbreaker’s inboxes with this shit and the message “Scroll down, TOO FUNNY!!!” LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ.

      Ben Bernanke Saves Thanksgiving From Ron Paul

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      BenBernakeDefendsThanksgiving.jpgBen Bernanke has a special Thanksgiving message for DealBreaker and Ron Paul. It sounds like he’s not happy about that video we posted yesterday.
      “It’s clear from this video that Ron Paul does not understand all the advancements of economic science over the past few decades. If one of Dr. Paul’s patients was sick, would he ignore modern medicine and prescribe leeches? So why does he doubt my ability to prescribe the right interest rate medicine for the economy and favor returning to the gold standard?” Bernanke writes on Ben Bernanke’s Blog.
      But it’s not all about leeches. There’s also a suspicious Frenchness about Ron Paul’s enthusiasm for laissez faire economics.
      “Watch the video closely. I tell him that lowering interest rates (which has nothing to do with inflation, necessarily) won’t effect Americans’ ability to buy turkey or any other domestic products this Thanksgiving. In fact, it reinforces our culture. Ron Paul would have Americans running around with strong dollars (or worse, gold), buying up French fries, spaghetti and other fancy imports,” Bernanke argues.
      Ron Paul, the grinch who stole Thanksgiving [Newsgroper]

        Ben Bernanke Allows Issues With Wife’s Infidelity Influence Speech

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        “An important part of retaining credibility is to say what you are going to do, and then do it, unless you have very good explanations about why you are going to depart from what you said you were going to do,” he said.

        Bernanke says policy predictability crucial [Reuters]

          What Bernanke Will Not Say On September 18

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          “The problem is, it takes new money to bail out bad collateral. That means a lot of new money unless banks start lending to high-risk markets. But our new, improved regulatory policies have clamped down on this.
          This means the end of my program to reduce the rate of inflation in the country. I have talked of little else from the day I took over in February 1, 2006. So did my predecessor. So did his predecessor, and so on, all the way back to 1938.
          So, basically, I have given up. We can bail out the mortgage market or we can pursue monetary stability. We cannot do both at the same time.”
          Bernanke’s Speech on September 18 [LewRockwell.com]

            Bernanke: Come to My Window

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            etheridge.JPG Some punk analyst (No really, some Punk Ziegel & Co. analyst) is accusing the Fed of forcing the major banks to borrow from the discount window. Market analyst Richard Bove thinks Bernanke sweetly serenaded JPMorgan, Bank of America, Wachovia and Citi to a tune of “Come to my window / Borrow cash, even though you don’t need to / Come to my window / I’ll cut rates soon.” From MSN:

            The discount rate, though lower than it was last week, is still higher than the 5.25 percent federal funds rate, which is what banks pay to borrow from one another. Plus, because of the $38 billion in cash the Fed has pumped into the system, banks are charging only 4.9 percent for overnight loans, Bove said. A statement from three of the banks that borrowed from the discount window said they wanted to “demonstrate the potential value of the Fed’s credit facility and encourage other banks to use it.”

            The whole thing was a “P.R. gig,” like getting knocked up by David Crosby. The banks took the dough to remove the stigma on borrowing money from the Fed as a credit line of last resort (and of getting inseminated by a drugged out musician), and to encourage smaller banks to do the same.
            Ahead of the Bell: Federal Reserve [AP via MSN Money]

              The Bears Are Who We Thought They Were!

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              In case you missed the Crameruption on Friday:

              Cramer’s main points:
              -The Bear guys should shut their dirty, whorish mouths
              -Bernanke should get on a Bear Stearns call and stop being an “academic”
              -But, Bernanke has “NO IDEA!”
              -People talk to Jim Cramer, especially in the last 72 hours
              -It’s bad out there, contrary to the Jim Cramer of 3 weeks ago, who was saying CDO holders would be made whole and calling for buys in the financial sector
              -The Fed is asleep!
              -Jim Cramer worked in fixed income at Goldman Sachs, which is like having a pair of scissors made out of paper-covered rocks and trumps any other form of argument or rational thought
              -Jim Cramer knows too many people and is too darn old
              -So old, that he knows of a President named Hoover