Hedge Funds

So Bill Ackman’s earth-shattering, research-redefining, can’t-miss company-killing “deathblow” didn’t exactly pan out yesterday, what with Herbalife shares soaring 25% yesterday as investors shrugged, “that’s all you got?” Now, it’s unclear what this exactly means for Pershing Square investors, since Ackman’s ninja restructuring of his $1 billion short last year makes precise P&L calculations impossible, but suffice it to say it means nothing good.

Nothing good for Ackman, anyway, but very good for new old buddy Carl Icahn, who remains a big believer in diet shakes in spite of Ackman’s best efforts to “get him out of the stock.” Two-hundred-and-thirty-four million dollars good. Good enough to let Uncle Carl leave the matter magnanimously unmentioned while also generously picking up the check at their next rendezvous at Marea. Read more »

If Argentina doesn’t want to sit down with the Elliott Management founder and vulture-investor-in-chief, that’s OK. EMC Corp. can’t wait to hear from him about how its “federation strategy” is a total disaster than that it should sell its most successful business. Read more »

If You Should Happen To Run In To Carl Icahn…

At Marea, perhaps. Or in a rough-and-tumble Queens schoolyard. Or at a hedge-fund conference. Or on Twitter. Wherever. A word to the wise: Don’t try to break the ice with a crack about certain insider-trading investigations involving Uncle Carl and certain famed golfers. Read more »

Now that David Ganek’s got a bunch of free time, what with his hedge fund having gone under due to the insider-trading scandal that sent his partner to jail, he realized something: He doesn’t need five bedrooms or the grand entertaining spaces or solid brass bar or to live in Jackie Kennedy’s old digs, especially when he and the missus are getting robbed blind every now and again. Nope, 740 Park just doesn’t do it for Dave and Danielle anymore, so they’ll sell it for twice what they paid nine years ago and grab one of those nice-looking three-bedrooms Jared Kushner is selling down at the Puck Building. Read more »

If Mark Kirk needed any more evidence that a certain tome is nothing more than 288 pages of hyperbolic journalistic sensationalism based on shoddy reporting, well, he sure got it yesterday. Read more »

Chris Hohn’s Wife Goes All Patty Cohen On Him

Like the former Mrs. SAC, Jamie Cooper-Hohn suspects that The Children’s Investment Fund founder, who once loved her enough to take her name and to give her a £2 billion charity to play with, is hiding £1.7 billion—or at least several hundred million—in the crevasses of his “modest life.” Read more »

And that form is a lawsuit which he has to pay lawyers to file. Phone calls, e-mails, letters, telegrams, CNBC appearances, PowerPoint presentations and carrier pigeons with the query, “Will my plan to solicit proxies to oust a majority of your stupid, intransigent board cause me troubles vis-à-vis poison pills?” were allegedly and will be in the future ignored, returned unread or turned over to Allergan’s vaunted R&D operations. Read more »